Wedding BYO - how does that work?

[DrinksAnxiety]

Been invited to a wedding, and it’s BYO booze.

I’m not being tight or anything, but how does this work? Do I bring beers, wine and soft drinks (children) and put it into the pot? Or do I carry a Tescos bag snd mind it with my dear life?

Seriously though, I only drink certain things and so don’t really want to pot luck and/ or end up with nothing to drink as surely some people will forget.

Also, AIBU to think that the B&G at a posh venue, with an expensive wedding, shouldn’t expect guests to bring their own.

Are you sure BYO doesn't mean buy your own?

No, it’s bring your own. On the invite it says they’ll provide food, bring your own drinks.

Surely you just put it on your table? Personally I’d be happy to do this rather than have to buy from the bar all night

Maybe take a few beers and a cheaper bottle to put on communal table and a couple of bottles of what you want to drink to keep close by?

Our wedding was byob. We had a bar with wine, beer,cider, fizz and soft drinks. Guest knew that we were supplying some drinks but we did say their hangover was in their hands! Everyone brought their own and they wouldn't have been expected to share.

i would expect a big table where you put all that you have brought on it and equally expect that when your back is turned all your 7-up and Ginger Ale would have been scoffed by someone in a grey suit whom you don't know.
hence hide the good stuff under the table in a small cooler that you sneak in earlier on.

I'd be delighted to be able to bring my own drink, rather than paying out 10x the price for a bar at a wedding venue.

If I had that on an invitation, I'd probably ask the B&G, or ask others who might know, then take it from there.
If it is a communal table, then I'd probably put something on there, and keep anything 'special' in a big handbag / the car boot to see how things go.
I wouldn't be surprised if it were just put it on the table you are sitting at though.

But, if it matters, then ask.

I would take what I and my family wanted to drink and keep it on our table. If I were feeling generous, I might take a bottle of wine to donate to the party.

I would bring some to share, and some to keep hidden until I wanted it.

Where I’m from that would mean it’s left in the trunk (boot) of the car and half the guests spend most of the night in the parking lot. So yeah not sure if that helps 🤣🤷‍♀️

The clue is in the description- bring YOUR OWN. If you had to pool the drink it would say ‘bring a bottle’.

Have they said anything about providing fridges or ice buckets?

I'd happily pay supermarket rather than posh venue prices for my booze but would be less happy if it wasn't properly chilled. Fine if you're a red wine drinker but no good for anyone else.

Never heard of this before but if I can bring decent quality wine then that would work for me.

Two questions; most importantly how are you supposed to keep your wine chilled and secondly avoid “sharing” with people who have bought wine/drinks I don’t like?

YABU, it's a great idea. Have you ever been to a BYO restaurant? You don't share wine with all the other tables??? Or just paid corkage in a normal restaurant ?

Just take something you like to drink 🤷🏻‍♀️ this really doesn't sound like a big deal at all? If you're worried about it take some cheap stuff you don't mind sharing. Or... Here's a crazy idea... Ask the couple how it will work if you're so worried?

Also, AIBU to think that the B&G at a posh venue, with an expensive wedding, shouldn’t expect guests to bring their own.

Why though? They are allowed to prioritise other things on their wedding above alcohol for people.
The cost of alcohol increases the costs of a wedding by a lot.

I was at a BYO a few years back. My memory is hazy as I was pregnant and obviously not drinking but my standout memory was someone in the venue having a huge Tesco bag full of booze at the front of the ceremony that ended up in the pictures.

The accommodation was on site and v cheap so most people stayed over & kept it in their rooms and went back when they needed more but I didn't notice that caused a few separate parties away from the venue.

B&G did have a big table of basics they provided themselves - wine, beer, cider, soft drinks and ice but I've no idea how anyone kept a bottle of wine cool....

I'd maybe bring a cool box or one of those ice pack wine sleeve things

I've been to one recently and took tins of gin & mixer in a cool bag with ice blocks and the kids drink bottles with juice.

The hosts provided plastic glasses, ice, arrival drinks (champagne etc) and soft drinks although I guess this depends on the venue/budget.

No one really expected to share although a few friends I was sat with offered drinks / swops.

I went to a wedding like this once and it was a free for all. Someone took/drank all of my dh’s beer from the fridge he was told to put it in. I was driving and someone used my 2 litre bottle of Diet Coke as a mixer. (People thought to bring bottles of spirits, but not mixers). It was a horrible venue full of horrible people and one of the most miserable weddings I’ve ever been to. There were several fights over who brought which bottle.

on the other hand I was at a wedding recently where there was a copious amount of free alcohol, but it was £3 a glass for a soft drink (or you could have tap water for free). Everyone around me was rip roaring drunk and it cost me a fortune!

I think that sounds good and would save a fortune as bars at weddings are so expensive. I’d put it on your table.

I'm not sure how this will work logistically at a wedding either. Because some people will presumably not be driving, meaning they either won't have anywhere to put the drinks before the reception and they be clinking all around the wedding itself; or it would have to be collected in, meaning lots of people will lose what they brought unless there's someone there to specifically label it all and keep it safe. Weddings aren't like going to your mates where you bring a bottle and you know everyone so you know no one will touch it without asking!

If my friend gave me this invitation I wouldn't have a problem honouring it but I would want to check first how they're planning on organising it so I could organise what I'm taking and how I'm getting there. I might go dry if it seems like a lot of hassle and there's water there, would save me carrying anything.

Maybe the venue doesn't have an alcohol licence. I would just take my own and keep it on my table. Went to a wedding recently and my friend had a box of wine in her car boot - saved us a fortune at the bar!

That’s a pita. How do you keep wine and beers chilled? I have never heard of that before.

I’ve been to one like this, it was great. We each put our bags of booze in a fridge trailer and just got them from there during the day and night. Nobody stole anyone’s booze and we all had a merry time.

Your friend had a box of wine in her car at a wedding that was NOT byob? You sound like delightful guests.

The one I went to was great. Each table had a big bucket of ice next to it and you just kept your drinks at your table. Some bought extra, as did the parents of the bride and groom etc which was kept at the front as a help yourself thing.