Wedding BYO - how does that work?

[DrinksAnxiety]

Been invited to a wedding, and it’s BYO booze.

I’m not being tight or anything, but how does this work? Do I bring beers, wine and soft drinks (children) and put it into the pot? Or do I carry a Tescos bag snd mind it with my dear life?

Seriously though, I only drink certain things and so don’t really want to pot luck and/ or end up with nothing to drink as surely some people will forget.

Also, AIBU to think that the B&G at a posh venue, with an expensive wedding, shouldn’t expect guests to bring their own.

I hate how expensive weddings are and if my partner wasn't bothered I would pass it (would just do the legal part).

But if it's a posh venue I think is super awkward bring your own stuff.
If i couldn't afford it I would adjust it to my reality.

I come from abroad (partner British) but all the weddings Ive been there are loads of food/desserts and open bar until 4/5am.
It actually turns out same/cheaper per head then a wedding in England (and the DJ is also included!).
Can't imagine everyone pretty and dressed up for the day with cooling bags and hidding their drinks under the table😅

Saying that i have been to weddings here and i agree bars are very expensive so i can understand why you do it!!

Conclusion...go get married abroad🤣🤣🤣

The logistics of a BYO restaurant and a wedding is a bit different.
You park near the restaurant and go straight to your the table that you share with the people who are in your party. The wedding is altogether different. Even you manage to get your own drinks to the table,you will be sharing the table with people you don't know who might just help themselves to them.

Order a pizza or two for delivery to the venue? No issues with transport or reheating and most people like them.

If the couple want better / posher than that when they are expecting guests that live hundreds of miles away to cater their wedding, they need to address logistics.

I'm amazed that a 'posh venue' would allow this. They'd lose all the revenue from the bar and doesn't look great everyone arriving at the hotel with a crate of special brew in hand 🤣. I've only ever heard of this when it's been a venue like a marquee in someone's garden or a barn. I really could not be arsed hauling drinks and mixers with me and would be pissed off not having any ice.

I haven’t been to a wedding for years but to be honest if I ever get invited to one in the future I would probably sneak in my own drinks anyway.
I don’t drink alcohol and not a massive fan of non alcoholic drinks like J20 etc.
I like fizzy drinks. But events like this are usually just Cola or Lemonade (boring).
I like cherryade or limeade. Vimto, Irn Bru or Tizer.
Half a dozen cans of Barr or Ka drinks in various flavours and I would be happy 😂😂😂

I’d be looking online for what they’d done to lose their alcohol licence!

Otherwise, as you say, a massive part of their profits is selling alcohol and I can’t imagine most venues would allow this.

Hopefully the B&G have checked with the venue and this isn’t going to end up like a festival with warning posters about ‘your own alcohol will be confiscated’.😁

We had a marquee in the garden of my FIL's house. We supplied wine, beer, pimms, and fizz, and all soft drinks. We didn't actively ask people to BYO, but a couple of people decided they wanted to drink spirits and brought them.

We had a load of fridges in the stables to keep everything cool and the caterers brought ice. No-one took advantage, and we had loads of booze left over. People did get very drunk though!

I think, as ever, it depends on the attendees. Some weddings I've been to where people went round sneaking the provided bottles off other tables, not knowing or caring that it would be an increased bill for the couple. But most of the weddings I've been to have just been happy affairs where people have behaved appropriately.

I think a BYOB wedding would be great fun, as long as cooling facilities were provided. Or they said to bring a cool bag and leave your drinks in the car until the meal or whatever.

Ok for practical suggestions (and good lord this sounds like a pain in the ass)

1- Travel bar with lock if you’re worried about unintended sharing https://www.amazon.com/Customizable-Portable-Travel-Leather-Bottle/dp/B015IGZMLM/ref=sr_1_35?crid=2SNL31TT47HJF&keywords=travel+bar&qid=1690290405&sprefix=Travel+bar%2Caps%2C110&sr=8-35&ufe=app_do%3Aamzn1.fos.006c50ae-5d4c-4777-9bc0-4513d670b6bc

2-wine Chiller https://www.amazon.com/Reduce-Wine-Cooler-Set-Dark/dp/B09XWB45JP/ref=sr_1_13?crid=W03KL5GPGX6&keywords=Wine%2Bcooler&qid=1690290482&rnid=2941120011&s=kitchen&sprefix=wine%2Bcooler%2Caps%2C105&sr=1-13&th=1

Then at the end of the night you pop a bow on them, tuck in a card and drop on the B&G’s table drinks and present sorted! (I’m joking about this last bit (sort of) 🤣

I went to one once. The venue did catering, but had no licence. It was lovely. The parents put a basic stock of various bottles and cans, including soft drinks, on a table by the door, in case anyone didn't quite get the memo, and most people brought a communal bottle as well as something for themselves. So I think the parents went away with more than they'd brought. It was a very nice respectable crowd, though, and probably more restrained than your average wedding guests . I don't remember what their arrangements were for keeping drinks cool. I have a bit of a mania about this when I'm out in the car in the summer, so my own supply of ice and cool boxes would have been pretty routine.

I’ve been to a BYO wedding before. There was a bar area and everyone put their booze there and people helped themselves. It was all shared. You could just drink your own if you wanted to but other people would certainly be drinking yours too. I think you need to be a bit relaxed about it. Expect to have to share. Don’t take anything ridiculously expensive. Expect to have others help themselves to yours and vice versa.
If you’re bothered about sharing keep yours in your room/car/hip flask etc and don’t put it with everyone else’s

Dd2 provided wine and champagne for the toast at her wedding and her dh bought beer etc for the evening. Some people brought their own if they wanted something different. The venue had plenty of fridges etc and it worked well. As it was just after covid she only had 30 guests including her and her new husband and kept it to close family.

My friend's sister arrived with a bottle of wine, but drank vodka and coke all night. Only leave it where you can keep an eye on it or it will soon dissappear.

Dd2 rented a venue that included accommodation for 50 guests for 2 nights. It was run by a charity. Everyone arrived on the Friday and helped decorate the venue and it had a very well equipped kitchen. We all ordered in Chinese takeaway for Friday dinner. They had caterers for the wedding reception itself and provided wine and champagne for the meal.They brought frozen pizzas for Saturday evening and plenty of cereal and bread, jam, marmite etc for breakfast. In the end having had to cancel at very short notice in May 2020 they married a year later but had to trim the guest list as they were only allowed 30 people including them.

Ugh this does not sound like my sort of wedding at all

What a horrible, snooty post.

You wouldn't have to go, if it is beneath you.

If you read the replies on this thread, you'll see how many people would be thrilled at this option.

Er - have you not heard of cool bags, or cool boxes ?

No way would I be drinking warm booze from the back of my car or under my seat.

Well, no-one is asking you to

Have you never been to a BYOB party? It will just be like that.

Look out for the 2 bottles of Grolsh somebody left over from a party in 1996, which have spent the rest of time just being regifted to parties. No one will ever drink them, especially now no one wants the bottle tops.

I'd bring a cool bag with them in

We provided the alcohol when we got married - had the reception in our garden and so was easier doing it that way. We said what we were getting - various wine, beer, spirits, mixers, Prosecco and other soft drinks, had ice buckets etc. we did say if there was anything else people wanted to drink they could bring it and I don’t remember there being any issues.

Strange comment. It's obvious I meant "if I was in this situation".
Hopefully bride and groom will be providing fridges or ice buckets to keep the drinks cool, but no one will ever know if they don't ask.
If they don't, and you've traveled any distance, you presumably will have had your booze in the boot of your car and it will be warm when you get there.
To avoid taking your carrier bags around with you during the service etc, you might leave them in your boot and nip back to refresh your glass throughout the day.
Not everyone has a freezer box/bag and they only work for so long anyway.

I went to one - your drink was taken off you and put behind a bar in ice / fridges grouped into the tables. They had ‘bar staff’ and they served you until the speeches were done.

After that, it was all brought out to your table with big buckets off ice and it was a free for all and your poured / drank as you liked from then.

best wedding I’ve ever been to!

I would check with the Bride and Groom regarding glass wear, ice, refrigeration etc.

I think it’s a great idea and many people will be grateful not to have to pay high bar bills and/ or be able to take their particular favourite brands (clear memory of going to a very smart engagement party when heavily pregnant with DS with my own large bottle of Appletiser as I could not drink ANY MORE elderflower and I knew that’s would the soft option would be…)

Ask about ice buckets, glasses, corkscrews. As people have said, it will either be in hand or will be once people point out that it needs to be.

There is a degree of silliness about supermarket bags and coolers and public transport. I don’t drive either, just put it in a smartish cotton bag for life or tote. You can get those wine bottle wraps which go around the bottle cheaply or ask a friend or neighbour if you can borrow a coolbag and bricks.

The poster with the ‘bring a dish’ however 😱at meals travelling for god knows how long in people’s car boots. Why not order a cheese platter online to be delivered to the B+Gs house the day before as ‘your contribution’?