Is it really that hard.....? 🤔

[StillGotBabyBrain]

My family is vegan, not a massive deal.

When the school has events, no vegan option, so everyone gets a bbq or food catered and we don't. Not even a dairy free alternative for hot drinks! (Primary school, high school is better).

When they go for sleepovers I get worried parents asking me what should they do, can I provide food and drinks for them...

Pubs and restaurants barely cater for adults let alone add options for the kids menu.

Went to a choir meeting the other week, nothing I could eat from the food included in my ticket price.

Am I being unreasonable thinking it's really not that difficult to provide bread and houmous or vegetable dishes? They're suitable for everyone, so isn't a waste of food! Blows my mind.

My husband has been vege or vegan for nearly 40 years. He loves how easy it is these days and honestly never faces the problems you seem to!

Going to someone's house for a BBQ? Drop a whatsapp a week or so ahead to remind them - and ask if they only have one BBQ, could the vegan stuff be cooked on a tray so it's not on the same racks that meat has been on. I always say I will bring a dish with us so worst case he has a suitable pasta salad. School events I joined the PTA and managed to get a second BBQ donated by B&Q so we could keep one vegan. Need special milk? Get a small bottle to carry your own milk.

I didn't make it other peoples problem basically.

Open to correction here, and it may not be what @SouthCountryGirl means, but I believe the thresholds to describe something as vegan aren't necessarily strict enough for those with severe dairy allergies. Food may be vegan but unsuitable due to the risk of cross contamination in the factory etc - not to mention places like stalls at school fairs, buffets, bakeries being a massive risk for cross contamination even if the food is fine when it reaches that point.

We allow our daughter who is allergic to peanuts to eat products that say "may contain..." but are much stricter at places like that because the risk is so much higher.

I'm not vegan and I agree with her - most dishes can be veganised with thought. So for breakfast for a sleepover based on things in my house right now - beans on toast, lunch - mushroom pasta or mushroom bolognese (yum) or chips and Bisto (which is vegan )and tea - hmm -- slow roasted courgettes with garlic and cannelini beans with bread and a salad or roasted aubergine with miso (need to get rid - it's almost expiring), rice and grilled asparagus/mushrooms (with grilled salmon for the meat eaters). All of these dishes are normally are meatified in my house - with butter on the toast, pancetta/chicken stock oil in the pasta and spiced sausage or butter on the grilled veg.

It is frustrating but I think it's a lack of thought, rather than deliberately but it is annoying. What I do find really hard is when pubs, or any place to eat, barely understand the concept. I'm a gluten free vegetarian and it's so wearing trying to explain it every time and I often end up having to go somewhere else (or home!)

But these days everything is so available. I buy "spread" for training weekends, everyone gets vegan. I buy garlic bread, turns out one of them is vegan so everyone gets it. Veggie sausages, I buy the vegan ones.

Ok can see if you're normally a nuggets and waffles for playdates person that it's a bit more overwhelming but big catering is easy

Pipsquiggle says: Look OP, there are circa 1.2% of the UK population that are vegan

Aye, and practicing vegans are also greatly outnumbered by ex-vegans. A lot of young people go through a vegan stage before returning to a more sensible diet.

And there are people who call themselves vegans who allow themselves frequent lapses for this or that meal, so that they end up eating at least as much meat, eggs and dairy as the average omnivore.

You are vegan by choice. Nobody is obliged to make any concessions for you unless they want to.

I have been put off catering for vegans after having a couple over for dinner. I put a huge amount of effort into making a three course meal (at very short notice - thank you dh). She wouldn't touch anything until she had inspected the packets. She wouldn't eat the bread because it came from the bakery without packaging beyond a paper bag so she couldn't be sure there was no dairy. It was rude and I felt on tenterhooks as she inspected each thing.

I think it's a pain when we go to cafe and restaurants and they do provide vegan meals/snacks.
There are loads, and it's it's really frustrating because trying to find gluten free is worse. Most gluten free people aren't choosing to be, normally down for medical reasons. Yours is atleast a choice.

So if you had a guest who, say, didn't like beef, would you say tough, that's a choice, I'm making you Bolognese?

This sounds like something I'd expect an 80 year old to say who is stuck in their ways and not willing to understand.

Gf bread generally has egg it in and so is not suitable...

I agree @MrsMarieMopps ive been reading this and also feel like I’ve obviously been very lucky with the people we and our kids know.
V for 40 years and even back in the early 80s before Linda Mc people always provided something. Kids are adults now and never ever ( apart from the Haribo issue) did people say no we don’t provide for your kids bring your own.

Nor would anyone expect us to cook animals for their kids as it’s a moral issue. Everyone just gets on with it and accommodates their friends.

Unfortunately you have come across someone who is not the norm and sounds quite rude.
I would never do this.
Please Don’t be put off by one person who has no manners

😂 There's a lot of stealth boasting about family meals and cooking ability coming into this thread!
years ago, invited a work colleague and his then girlfriend to the first dinner party I ever held. I was a vegetarian so cooked accordingly (my ex refused to do any cooking whatsoever, so I refused to cook him meat. if he could not be arsed I wasn't going to make the effort).
I see to remember I cooked pasta with mushrooms an cream.
Neither my friend or his fiance thought to tell me that she ate NO Vegetables whatsoever, so she picked out the mushrooms and the onion out of the dish. I tell this story to illustrate how very restricted diets can seem unremarkable if you are used to them. clearly neither thought it was worth mentioning but to a normal cook it's an impossible brief

If I chose not to eat most the food ingredients ever because I'm awkward I wouldn't expect people to cater for that. My nephew is very allergic to dairy and eggs, it's very hard to keep him safe when eating anywhere other than at home. My sister and bil don't expect people to cater for him, she takes her own food for him everywhere they go. He has no choice. You won't have a severe reaction if you eat something vege with a bit of milk or egg in it, just eat from the vege offering at the events. When catering on a budget you can't cater for everyone, you cater for the majority.

@6WeekCountdown its not about being awkward, it’s actually a protected characteristic as a philosophical belief.

I do offer to bring my own food when I go to friends houses, but since they’re not all awkward Annie’s like you they want to provide me with something suitable I can eat, as I do for them when they come to mine.

Likewise.
If I was that ridiculous I’d never leave the house.
Although I would never attend a hog roast.

People with severe allergies are quite scary to cook for though.
A friends son has a nut allergy and I will bleach everything, even door handles and not cook/ use nuts for a week before he visits. We eat a lot of nuts and it terrifies me when he visits.
A drop in would have to be a no no, unless he runs straight to the garden and keeps out of the house. Even then I’m a mess in case my kids have just had a nutty snack.

I was a vegetarian from 1987-1999. At the start of that period there was usually one, if you were lucky, vegetarian option on a menu. Always super healthy - so the pie would have a wholemeal crust. That improved over the decade. Nowadays most places have vegetarian and vegan options. Sometimes an entirely separate menu. So I am surprised some people find so few options. Agree over things like barbeques and meat touching. I do work in the public sector though so our buffets always have vegetarian options.

One of the most important things about pizza is plenty of lovely cheese though.

Ah, life would be so much easier if my veggie daughter liked mushrooms. And tofu.

I'm the only mushroom and tofu lover in the house, and I also eat meat.

Try having coeliac disease!

I think I'll pass if it's all the same.

Wow @FlowersInTheSky what an appallingly rude post.
Op be assured bringing your children up to understand what meat is and making a personal stand on the entire industry will make them stronger people.
My kids have always been the only non animal eaters as was I when growing up and everyone is much better for it. Both socially, morally and physically.

i’ve been a non meat eater for over 30 years and don’t really have any issues (apart from in France!) I’ve never thought about getting upset over a ham sandwich sitting next to a cucumber one! Most places have veggie options and I do eat cheese (bloody live cheese).

i just don’t have people over for dinner or go to barbecues if I can help it. We go out and that way all the vegans etc can get what they need cooked by someone else.