To think our current way of living is unsustainable?

[goldenlikedaylight]

The number of sick days in 2022 was at a record high. I myself had 2 months off from work last year because of my mental health just crumbling beneath me. I've heard of so many adults who have also taken sick leave for mental health, or have had to take time out from working because of it. I just think the way modern life is set up at the moment is not sustainable, and it's breaking people. Does anyone else feel the same?

I agree 100% and this applies to me

It’s called capitalism. People are socially conditioned to consume. Almost everybody succumbs in some form (i.e. consuming from want rather than need). Advertising and marketing are billion-pound industries. It is not simply a case that people are greedy or stupid or easily led. It has got far worse with influencers who are paid to promote economic and social privilege as a ‘normal’ standard of living, that is within reach.

I agree. It just doesn’t work having two parents working full time. Of course it can be done, but it means sacrificing time for exercise, time with the kids etc. This is especially the case for the sandwich generation. To get promoted we have to go above and beyond and that means missing time with our kids. This makes me sad.

We are now at back to pre-covid levels- it has flagged as a concern that the sickness rate has increased again.

The leadership team have it flagged and it’s being monitored, investigated, it’s seems to be Mental health and back issues. Company making sure we have everything in place to offer support around MH - occupational health involved. There has also been a gentle push that WFH options you can get a chair from work etc that long term dining room/sofa use is going to cause long term issues.

The main issue is simply the cost of housing.

But unfortunately the majority of homeowners are unmortgaged, so untouched by the pain, and they're a powerful voting bloc

I think one thing that has changed is that employees want workplaces and bosses to take accountability for their well-being and mental health.

It's a case of 'what are you going to do for my well-being'?? I don't know about anyone else, but when my overall health has been poor it's the actions I've taken rather than how I was treated at work that made the difference. Not saying that work can't be a detractor of well-being. But there seems to have been a level of passivity and helplessness that has crept in (for some people).

I think you're missing a really big piece of the puzzle.

1. It's different when hard work is a necessity. Working in factories 12 hours a day to improve society, while incredibly hard, had a purpose. Working as a corporate slave to make some people at the top even richer is a miserable way to spend your life. Humans want to feel like they're making a valuable contribution
2. Were being squeezed for everything and told to be grateful for sick days off or other very basic things. Why? We could all work a bit less if the wealthiest were willing to just give up their obscene bonuses or tax dodging

The kind of stress that comes from having a meaningless job, taking part in stupid 5 stage interviews, working unpaid overtime, graduating with ridiculous debt, just to know for many young people they can only dream of owning a house? It's very different.

I worked 60 hours a week and could barely afford to live. I'd rather work in a factory 12hrs a day back then, when at least that wage could support a family and buy a house for 2x my yearly income, not 12x.

It’s a rough time in the UK and the world.

I haven’t had any sick days for a few years personally and can’t think of anyone at work who’s had many.

This sounds interesting

Well factoris exsiit still - you could get a job in one of those? Or a meaningful office job? I work in an office job but on regulation that protects vulnerable consumers so feel a lot of satisfaction in what I do.

My mental health personally has never been better since Covid, but I’ve always made an effort to take care of it just how I take care of my physical health. I go for walks, I make an effort to frequently meet friends and family who make me feel good, I work remotely so am sure to book regular ‘virtual coffees’ with colleagues. I use childcare when I need to, and chase the money in my (meaningful) profession - so I don’t think ambition causes MH issues.

In fact ambition has gotten me out of some horrific workplace situations. At some point you just need to look after yourself and your family and fuck anyone else.

Unsustainable in terms of the environment/climate change yes.
Unsustainable in terms of life quality/stress then no. We have it way better than in the past but we don't realise it. It's all relative.

I certainly don’t think it’s down the mines hard but when I was younger I did 60 to 70 hour weeks at a desk and on locations for years.

It was quite hard. Always interesting though, never boring. Quite a bit bullying mind you.

Now I am reaping the benefits so no complaints really, and I have never had time off for stress, although I missed endless family and friends events for years and that takes its toll.

Some freelance-y industries are quite brutal still.

Even if it were as simple as putting everything down to this one cause, which I doubt, I hold the companies that invest huge sums in ensuring their SM platforms are so addictive responsible rather than the manipulated users. This goes more so for young people.

If it is unsustainable then, by definition, it will stop at some point.

I think it's simply really. People have stopped giving a shit. There's no resilience, responsibility, accountability and the sense of entitlement is unreal across all age groups. I've come to the conclusion it's not just gen x or z.

How do we fix the problem?

I have no clue and nothing constructive to add there. It would require a huge cultural shift happening again (covid really fucked attitudes towards work and life in general up big time)

It's hard not to fall into the same mindset as your contemporaries.

With stress, poor mental health etc they are hard to prove if a person actually is suffering from them and gps are too quick to write sick notes and sign ppl off. It's also hard for employers to enforce anything for fear of litigation or bad reviews/social media etc

I think people are less resilient nowadays

So what are you saying we should just not take time off when we are ill? Feels quite toxic.

You seem to be lacking a bit of empathy. Have the Pot Noodles affected your brain?

Maybe it would be worth looking inwards and questioning whether you’re being the nicest person you could be.

@onefinemess just to add. Your first sentence makes no logical sense. I mean, of course those things affect mental health or why would so many people be taking antidepressants?

I think it is far too easy to sit on the Internet and self diagnose all sorts of conditions such as anxiety and depression.

I've done loads of quizzes online that say I have anxiety/depression/three weeks to live because of a lump etc.
There is bugger all wrong with me except for being tired due to an auto immune condition and a family plus working full time!
The problem is, once someone gets their online 'diagnosis' they start to believe it is the cause of all of their problems and live their life accordingly. Before Dr Google appeared when people felt nervous or anxious they just rode it out, only the most extreme cases would have been diagnosed by a professional. I can't remember the last adult under the age of 30 that I spoke to that didn't drop their anxiety into the conversation at every available opportunity.
Life like this is unsustainable. If the entire population develops anxiety and depression who will do the jobs we rely on for survival? If every farmer, paramedic, consultant, carer etc suddenly diagnosed themselves with anxiety and refused to go to work we wouldn't last long as a population.
I do think the Internet and modern communication styles are the root of all evil, we are 'available' 24/7 no matter what. We are no longer trying to keep up with the neighbours but now people follow influencers, why do we care what some random woman that we'll never meet is wearing?
If I could go back in time and make sure the Internet was not invented I would do it in a heart beat!

I did feel the same so I changed it. Move jobs, moved house, created a new life.

Looking at your original message again OP as the thread got me off track a few times. I think there are many valid points here along with a very wide range of experiences and opinions.

I also sometimes wonder about your last point / question, and I certainly think about it in a slightly different way to what's mostly been covered in the thread. Partly because I don't think there's a right and wrong answer - things are different today than any other time in history, and so has every other era been. If we look back, every generation / era was plagued with concerns of something along the lines of "we're now more isolated / rude / overworked than before". It's all relative as others have said.

There is much out there in the way of this discourse, how current expectations could be considered greater than other times / generations and there have been significant changes to lifestyles from a range of inputs. I think there are many different types of hard work as other posters have said (and one is not better or more righteous than another), and there are also many societal shifts and developments of all kinds that make our lives complicated, many of which are complexly and intrinsically linked.

Some of this was covered in Celeste Headlee's book Do Nothing which helped me with perspective on some of these topics, and things like Project 333 helped me focus on the simple things in our control that make life simpler and more straightforward - but these things won't appeal to everyone, I know.

I hope that you get to a better balance, and feel assured that there is much you can control.

Lastly, MH is clearly a hot topic. I do think those of us with the greatest resilience would do well to support others with empathy, as when the moment comes and you have to accept or come to understand your resilience is not "fixed" and does in fact know some bounds, there may not be many people ready or willing to help if you've used your resilience as a bar to measure others by when it's a deeply individual and complex characteristic.

I do think we have a 'work work work' attitude in the UK. DH was recently headhunted by a company with the offer of a £10k pay rise. He turned it down. They wouldn't offer flexible working (he currently WFH two/three days a week which helps me with the nursery and school runs), and he would have been commuting every day. He has since heard that the company really aren't family friendly, so we dodged a bullet there. We are so relieved he turned it down! You only have to read lots of threads on MN about people worried about taking time off when poorly. We are work obsessed and working ridiculously long days seems to be a mark of honour in some work places. It's not right!

@onefinemess of course office/computer work can be stressful! Ambulance call handlers for a start, they burn out incredibly quickly because of the horrific stuff they are hearing day in, day out. It makes you wake up in the night because there's things you can't forget

My job isn't overly stressful but I'm shouted/sworn at most days or told how useless I am which gets a bit.. wearing