To think our current way of living is unsustainable?

[goldenlikedaylight]

The number of sick days in 2022 was at a record high. I myself had 2 months off from work last year because of my mental health just crumbling beneath me. I've heard of so many adults who have also taken sick leave for mental health, or have had to take time out from working because of it. I just think the way modern life is set up at the moment is not sustainable, and it's breaking people. Does anyone else feel the same?

Im struggling with stress at the moment. I work full time. So does husband. 3 kids, my mum doesn't understand. She had three kids and it was fine. But she was a sahm. I'm trying to do all the school stuff, drop offs, clubs, house work and maintain a career which is stressful and I see death and sadness every day. People expect things straight away now. Gone are the days when people would wait. So yeah life is stressful.
I used to work far less hours, but honestly it's financially not possible any more. We don't live lavish lifestyle. We run 2 cars or we couldn't get to work. Our kids share bedrooms, don't have holidays every year, even then its north Wales for us.
I sympathise for people who go off work with stress. It can just take one new issue for all the plate spinning to fail and it comes crashing down. I'm having marriage issues and it's tipping me over

But that’s just setting a really low standard for our living standards, and if everyone thought like you do, nothing about our society would never improve. In fact it would deteriorate.

As long as kids aren’t losing limbs down the mines, everything’s fine!

Nope, just being realistic. Society can't progress at all if people are "too worried about their mental health" to go to work.

You think change is brought about by people WORKING to change things, or by people sitting at home because it's all got a bit too stressful?

It's not a low bar, it's a basis of comparison. I was setting out the alternatives.

But we can’t push for even more luxury and ease. It all comes at a cost, and that cost is environmental damage and climate change.

No, I don’t have any problems with the current way of living. My MH is fine. I think a lot of people take sicks days now as they have no resilience.

Reluctantly I agree and I’ve been severely depressed, high dose of SSRI and self funded (and I am not wealthy) intensive therapy.

Improvement costs money, we as a society are
not making that money because we have many millions unemployed and not looking for work because they consider themselves too mentally unwell. Which is fine, but we can’t then demand expensive improvements to society when we’re not raising the taxes that needs.

Is it 99% of the population or just 99% of MN that claim to have mental health issues? Claiming that life is harder today that it was 50 years ago is a fucking joke

What is it with threads today full of people in favour of crap housing conditions, crap quality of life, and crap working conditions?

Heaven forbid average citizens should have a reasonable quality of life.

I don't have a solution but something that resonated with me lately was reading that the 40-hour working week was designed back in 40s/50s, and was deemed a reasonable amount of work that one person could do. It also assumed that that person was NOT responsible for the household, cooking, cleaning & childcare.

So now that people (and very often mothers) are responsible for both a 40-hour work week, and a significant majority of household & family tasks, its not surprising that a lot of people are struggling and overwhelmed.

Because they’re comparing to years gone by, you’re comparing it to subjective perfection. We don’t have a crap quality of life compared to 9.9.999% of humans who ever existed and some around the world today. We have good lives, it’s just we aren’t grateful for it; we want more. And wanting more and more is why we are now in a climate emergency that is going to render a lot of the Earth uninhabitable.

Most people I know have, or claim to have, a MH issue of some kind (including me). I blame the Internet for basically everything and I’m happy to back that up should anyone care about my opinion

I think a sense of perspective helps. Read the book “Bullshit jobs”, changed my life. Unless you are a brain surgeon or a firefighter your job does matter. Do it, get paid, and leave. And we are fortunate on this country to have universal healthcare and a welfare state. Not saying they’re great but they are there.

And be grateful sick days exist in your workplace.

Isn't one of the problems with stress in a less physical job such as office work is that there isn't a physical outlet for it? So your body is gearing up for a fight or whatever that never happens.

I had five weeks off with stress last year, partly work related - yes, office work, but we had an extended period of extra work, constant changing demands, uncertainty, possible redundancy - but mainly home life with a child having repeated violent meltdowns so I was being physically attacked most days yet unable to defend myself in the way I would if it was just about anyone else attacking me (and I was told to try sodding mindfulness).

We have good lives, it’s just we aren’t grateful for it; we want more.

Why do we continue to have high levels of depression, burnout and anxiety as a society if life is so good? Blaming it on people being greedy doesn’t sound plausible to me. Or is it greedy to want to be happier?

And wanting more and more is why we are now in a climate emergency that is going to render a lot of the Earth uninhabitable.

Wanting more ‘stuff’ is harming the planet. That is not necessarily the same as wanting a different pace of life or to live life differently. Emissions per person are a lot higher in the US, where working hours are longer, than here.

Ahhh I see onefinemess is here to lecture everyone on how shit they are, again. How refreshing!

I think the problem is that everything that has been said in this thread is true. Some people have very serious reasons for poor mental health and that shouldn't be minimised. Some people are just different, maybe less resilient but perhaps that's down to different personality types. Maybe some people make poor decisions and some are just a victim of bad luck. We could go round in circles with all that. Certainly, the Internet has added a whole new level of intrusion into our lives, higher aspiration and therefore a greater feeling of failure.

The vast majority of people today don't "work hard", they might not like their job, but nobody who works in an office environment "works hard", same for schools, universities, shops, restaurants, you name it. None of it is "hard work", boring perhaps, but not "hard".

I temped when I left uni 30 years ago (in the days when that paid enough for me to live on in London). Got to see a lot of workplaces. Was amazed at how many places did so little (my personal best was an office in Australia for a phone company - the woman whose job I was covering must have done about 40 minutes a day by my reckoning given how long it took me to do the stuff that needed to be done. I really dont think you would get away with that these days. And mental labour (including boredom) is as 'hard' as physical labour. So yes, people do work hard.

The thing is, stress isn’t a value judgement. If it raises your cortisol levels then it’s stressful. End of definition. You don’t get to choose whether that is socially acceptable stress caused by working down a mine, or “snowflake” stress caused by long hours in a boring office or social isolation. If it raises your cortisol levels, it’s stress and has an impact on your body.

I do think we are too dismissive of the simple things individuals can do to decrease their cortisol levels. I think we dismiss them just because they are simple.

People have more time on their hands these days. They spend ages surfing the web thinking they have some illness, feeling envious of people posting on platforms, seeing other people they know experiencing things and it causes dissatisfaction and stress which leads to 'MH' issues. Too much knowledge is sometimes a dangerous thing. I am not saying that there aren't a lot of genuine MH illnesses but there are also people self diagnosing and jumping on the bandwagon. Years ago people were busy trying to survive - working, walking kids to school, shopping, cooking from scratch, socialising, getting the old twin tub out etc and they had less time to feel dissatisfied. Sure there was always a bit of the 'keeping up with the Jones's' but social media has produced a new sort of anguish and stress in people. We also interact less. Work at home or on line, shop on line, order groceries on line, kids don't know how to speak on the phone, and socialise with their friends on social media rather than getting together. If you feel a bit down and go to work in an office where you interact with other people and have a chat and share problems and maybe lunch together it is so much better for you than working from home alone. It is supposed to be progress but I am not sure it is.

I wouldn’t say we are more stressed - just differently stressed. Each mum has to manage her own house, kids and chores, which is a fairly recent state of affairs. Even 100 years ago most people had home helps - either an unmarried sister or an older daughter, or someone else’s unmarried daughter. It was really common for women to work in someone’s home until they got married themselves. And pretty much every woman was a SAHM, and everyone had mums and sisters who didn’t work, so that removed a lot of stress and provided a lot of support. Meanwhile the men had women at home taking care of everything, which removed a lot of stress for them too.

In other words, I think a large amount of the stress that people have now is because they’re working and juggling care, and they don’t have anyone at home to pick up the slack.

I think life can be harder for mothers and women who having caring responsibilities now, as in the past they often either did not work or worked part time, now most mothers have to work full or close to full time because most families cannot survive on a single wage. It’s no wonder many women are burnt out, stressed and suffering with poor mental health when they are effectively working two jobs.

For everyone else I would say on average life is easier now than it was in the past though and it’s our resilience that’s the issue.

It's just become more acceptable
Attitudes have also changed
Days of 'I never had a day off in 25 years' seem a bit archaic now whereas people used to take pride in it.

Because of the Internet.

The things people want are essentially material things in one way or another.

I’m going to sound very ‘old’ but I work with gen Z. There is a massive sense of entitlement from most of them,with zero personal responsibility to go with it.
I do think many of the issues are caused by both partners having to work,so there is no solid ‘home base’ but the expectation is to have it all straight away,new house,new furniture,new car. I don’t see much saving up for stuff,or going without if it can’t be afforded. But there would have to be fundamental changes in society. And no social media!