Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My boss and flowers

44 replies

whichdirection · 23/07/2023 21:07

My current line manager did me a favour (gave me the contact details of someone who could give advice on a non work related matter). I got her an inexpensive bunch of flowers on the way to work to say a small thanks. Spent the day working, at the end of the day popped into her office to ask something and saw the flowers were on someone else’s desk. I didn’t actually think anything of it until she said “Colleague is taking the flowers home for me because she lives across the road” (FYI boss doesn’t live a long commute away, she also lives within walking distance of workplace)
am I being unfair to think WTF 😂 I got her some flowers and she gave them away to a colleague?! Blimey if they weren’t her thing she could have waited until I’d left for the day to pass them on or even just binned them en route home, is it just me or is that a bit off to literally give the flowers I’ve gifted her to a colleague while I’m still there and then tell me she’s done it?!

OP posts:
WestOfWestminster · 23/07/2023 21:09

Yeah thats unkind, or at best, very thoughtless.

WomensLandArmy · 23/07/2023 21:10

I think once you have given a gift you cannot control what the recipient does with it. You made the gesture, which was thoughtful and the right thing to do. Don't give it another thought.

TeaKitten · 23/07/2023 21:10

Any chance she’s allergic to them?

readbooksdrinktea · 23/07/2023 21:12

That's weird. She didn't want them but didn't want to tell you? I'd be surprised too.

Lacucuracha · 23/07/2023 21:12

Maybe she wasn’t going home that night and didn’t want them to die? Would be a shame to bin them.

youveturnedupwelldone · 23/07/2023 21:13

I would also have given them away, but I would have graciously thanked you, taken them home and given them to a neighbour or someone else I know outside work whilst sneezing all the way as I'm very allergic to flowers.

In future tho - I know you think you did a lovely thing, but there are people (like me and presumably your manager!) who can't bear getting flowers/gifts in a work context. Just say a heartfelt thanks, it's much safer all round.

WestOfWestminster · 23/07/2023 21:13

WomensLandArmy · 23/07/2023 21:10

I think once you have given a gift you cannot control what the recipient does with it. You made the gesture, which was thoughtful and the right thing to do. Don't give it another thought.

Absolutely, but you are allowed to think its bad form & rethink your attitude towards that person.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 23/07/2023 21:14

I think she has been rude but perhaps she has heading out to eat ir the gym or somewhere after work where taking them with it her would be a nuisance.

Even with that, why not just keep them at work.

Strange one.

imnotsickbutimnotwell · 23/07/2023 21:14

We’re they lilies or something that cats are allergic too (if she has a cat)

TempName247 · 23/07/2023 21:18

If the colleague lives across the road from her it does make sense that she could be taking them home for her

noglow · 23/07/2023 21:18

They didn't want the flowers and were being polite. Note not to buy flowers again. In my work place that would be considered an odd gift.

noglow · 23/07/2023 21:19

Also perhaps as your line manager perhaps they felt it inappropriate. Especially if they do your appraisals.

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 23/07/2023 21:20

If that's what she said verbatim I take it to mean the colleague will take them to her house. For example because boss was going out to dinner after, staying late, or taking a mode of transport (e.g. public or cycling) that makes flower-carrying difficult?

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 23/07/2023 21:21

And by her house I mean the boss's

Original poster
whichdirection · 23/07/2023 21:21

Oh God now I’m really cringing that I broke some kind of workplace etiquette and I’ve embarrassed both of us 😂🙈 I was just trying to say a quick thanks for a favour she did me, sort of thing I do all the time in everyday life with friends to show appreciation if they’ve helped me out

OP posts:
noglow · 23/07/2023 21:22

Next time just grab them a coffee

SarahAndQuack · 23/07/2023 21:26

I wouldn't think too much about it. She clearly appreciated the gesture enough to bother offering an explanation of why the flowers were on someone else's desk - whether that's actually because she has an allergy, or doesn't like flowers, or whatever, doesn't matter.

Spottypineapple · 23/07/2023 21:30

Not the point of the thread but it does sound a bit odd to give someone flowers for simply giving you a contact...

TurnerP · 23/07/2023 21:32

It may be she didn't want it known that she had helped you or it was that other persons birthday/she asked her a favour and used your gift as a means to regift
Or if the workplace is quite stuffy then perhaps crossed a line

TurnerP · 23/07/2023 21:33

Or she simply has a jealous partner at home who easily becomes suspicious!

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 23/07/2023 21:34

HoneyIShrunkThePizza · 23/07/2023 21:20

If that's what she said verbatim I take it to mean the colleague will take them to her house. For example because boss was going out to dinner after, staying late, or taking a mode of transport (e.g. public or cycling) that makes flower-carrying difficult?

I agree with this, I think. That she meant colleague was taking them to bosses home for some logistical reason, and she didn't want you to think she'd given them away!

Original poster
whichdirection · 23/07/2023 21:51

Oh I don’t know and I’m too embarrassed to actually ask her tomorrow morning so I guess we will never know! 😂

OP posts:
BennyBlancofromtheBronx · 23/07/2023 21:57

I'm another one who thinks it doesn't sound like she gave the flowers away. She just didn't want to carry them around Tesco, or wherever she was going between work and home, and would pick them up later.

TurnerP · 23/07/2023 21:57

You never know,her and the colleague that she gave them to could have a "special relationship" 😈
I would guess she felt embarrassed too that you had seen they had been given away, for whatever reason

Original poster
whichdirection · 23/07/2023 22:01

Definitely sticking to grabbing her a Starbucks en route if I need to say thanks in future 😂

OP posts: