to make DS clean the whole bathroom?

[HenryPet]

Not sure if the title should be that or a variety of alternatives...

DS is 14 and his job is to clean the family bathroom at the weekend. That's his only job that's his part that involves others mess, he obviously has to clean up after himself.

He was up at 9 today and has already taken 2.5 hours to only do half of it. He is usually sitting on his phone and this is a reoccurring thing every weekend. Sits on his phone while cleaning and it ends up taking him about 5 hours in total...

DH has started saying it's clearly too much for him and he deserves to go out with his friends at the weekend, etc. he's more than welcome to go out with friends, but he is the one choosing to take 5 hours on 1 bathroom.

Is cleaning the bathroom really such an unfair chore for a 14 year old?

To be honest, he just got the bathroom because he said he knew how to clean it the best out of all the rooms. I'm happy to switch the room allocations up, but can't imagine he'll be any different but I'll offer it!

You dh is being weird. So being lazy = we get away with things. .ake hin leave his phone with you and gey on with the cleaning.

Those who says its a weird chore. Whose chore should it be then? Ops? Her dh clearly can't manage it when he thinks 5 hours to do it = we just don't do it. This is what creates those teenagers that goes to uni and can't tidy or clean after themselves as it was always done. You need to learn time.management at home

I dont think it's too much asking them to clean, but what a shit boring job week in week out for the same person. Why not switch it up, regular chores but not the same old crap each week.

So long as he cleans the bathroom and is not inconveniencing the rest of the household I’d let him take five hours to clean it.

letting him off on grounds he takes too long is teaching him that weaponised incompetence works.

My thoughts exactly. Enjoy this OP.

Can't believe some people think it's weird to have a 14 year old clean a bathroom! Cleaning 2 bathrooms was.my chore for a while as a kid, when I was about 11. I've made by 7 and 10 year olds clean the toilets recently because they both seem incapable of lifting seats and/or not weeing on them when they're in a hurry.

as a kid in the 70s (so probably from about age 8 and up) our jobs were our own rooms, the bins, and the washing drying up
As teenagers we got the loo/bathroom added (they were separate and we alternated weeks)

And if we didn't do them there were consequences (usually docked allowance and no lifts for a week)

Your DH is being an idiot. So hand it off to him: either he or DS does the bathroom. Properly.

In what world is it weird for a 14 year old to clean the bathroom?! We used to rotate our jobs but cleaning the bathroom was one of them, how else is he supposed to learn how to do it (and do it well) if he doesn't do it? Learned incompetence is ridiculous. If he wants to mess around on his phone and take 5 hours to do one job so be it.

He won't be any different with any other chore. If he wants to take 5 hours whilst he pisses about on his phone it's entirely up to him!

Of course it's a boring job, all housework is boring. Does he think it's OK for you to do all the boring jobs so that he does not have to do any?

14 is not too young and I’d take his phone he will do it in an hour, he’s clearly not learning time management. Don’t offer him something else, he chose that job. He will need to clean a bathroom in less than 5 hours when he leaves home.

Teach him good habits not bad.

What's weird about it?

This.

I had a 8 hour shift Saturday job at 14, he's absolutely capable of spending half an hour wiping down a sink and mopping a floor unless he has something else going on for him other than general reluctance, a phone addiction and shit time management.

Swap his task, absolutely, but you'll find that he takes five hours to clean the kitchen/lounge/hoover the house instead. He needs to work out the magical lesson of cause and effect, and that he can clean the bathroom AND go out with his mates for the day if he pulls his finger out of his arse puts down his phone and gets on with it. His choice.

Don't teach him that he can do a shit job of something and he won't be asked to do it again. The real world awaits and he's practicing for it now, at home.

It's his choice for it to take so long, and it's absolutely not weird for a 14 year old to clean the bathroom. Those saying get a cleaner, check your privilege please. Not everyone can afford that.

Everyone lives in the house, contributes to mess etc, therfore everyone contributes to keeping it tidy.

@thousandbirds
@andHelenknowsimmiserablenow

you know not everyone can afford a cleaner?

cleaning bathroom is not too much for a 14 year old. If it was a 14 year old girl would your view be different I wonder? 🤔

Very surprised at some replies on here... My 9 yo son and 6 yo daughter clean a bathroom each and do it well. Life skills. As well as hoovering, mopping, cleaning car inside and out (not so well but they do it!). Absolutely nothing to gain for THEM by doing it for them. Their life will be easier for knowing how to do and how to just get on with it

Take his phone away and don't let him pick another area to clean. He picked the bathroom; he's stuck with it. I cleaned our family bathroom from a much younger age and I survived.

Your husband wants to take the easy way out, which is not just lazy parenting, it will also teach your son that if he takes too long or does a lousy job, the job will be taken away. At 14 he needs to learn that the world doesn't work like that.

Tell him to do it as fast as possible and put some music on with headphones.

Of course not everyone can afford a cleaner. We can but we’ve never had one. Being a boy or a girl has nothing whatsoever to do with it. I just think that of course they should help out at that age if asked every now and again. But they are responsible for their room, generally tidy up after themselves when cooking etc, do their homework and then be with their friends and have fun.

My dd and ds always helped out that age when asked, especially when their dad was away for work. I always told them that I did not want any sighing or protests whatsoever if I asked them, and tbf they never did. 😅

They did tidy (or help) their rooms from when they were toddlers, it was never a chore.

You're not unfair. Tell him he gets his phone after he's cleaned the bathroom to an acceptable standard. He'll have it done in 20 minutes.

Just take it away

You say you couldn't care less but it is annoying you isn't it? Just as it would annoy most people.

I agree....for a 14 year old. 6 year old? Wow.

Yep, 6. And sorry to be all "when I was a youngster" but when I was her age I had housework AND farm chores to do.... Pulling ragweeds, scraping geese shit up, bagging sticks, as well as the fun stuff.... She is a fully capable little girl, spraying and wiping is NOT like she's down the mines.

I do think having a variety of household chores on rotation is a good idea. He needs to learn different life skills. Laundry, does he know how to operate the washing machine, how to remove stains, how to avoid colour runs, why it’s a good idea to check the pockets? Has he learned how to iron his own shirts? Cooking, has he learned how to cook a meal, basic food prep etc? Vacuuming, dusting, mopping, cleaning the kitchen. Mowing the lawn (if you have a lawn). Does he know how to operate the lawn mower?