How nice are you?

[Selmaandpatty]

Sometimes I feel like being nice is just really not that valued anymore. It's not about not being a pushover or lacking assertiveness, you can be very nice and still those things. it's more that I find a lot of people are just self-serving and gossip about people, or say hurtful things.
We're all human, we all make mistakes but on a day-to-day level I find that many people are not that nice. Of course they're not horrible, evil, depraved.
I can think of a very small number of people where I think that they are an exceptionally kind, caring, genuine and generous person, however like I said it's a very small number.

I always feel grateful for any people I see litter picking or doing community jobs. I can't imagine why people are mocking.

I think I'm nice but I'm not a pushover. My default is to be nice and I would never be intentionally unkind but I do have a limit if it's apparent my niceness isn't valued or reciprocated.

I try to go out out my way to do things for others that I don't necessarily need to, like donating to the food bank, or to church or to my DC school. I never make an effort to be nasty to anyone, so I'd say I'm pretty nice.

That said, I'm the person who will calmly highlight it if you cut into a queue in front of me, or if you are rude to someone around me, so I'm far from a pushover, and will speak up for those who can't.

I don't think I am too nice, because I am quite distant, have little tollerance to bullshit, but the good thing about me is that I hate gossips. I very rarely tell things about myself that are personal and never talk and never am interested in other people's personal stuff. My point of view is that if someone doesn't tell you directly, it shouldn't concern you (things like salary, health and personal problems, life events etc.).

I'll always be nice to people, until they aren't to me, then I'll rip them to pieces.

I think I'm a nice person. I have good boundaries - I'm not a pushover at all - but I try to be thoughtful towards friends and strangers. I find that being nice works for me. I get on well with all of my colleagues, and have many friendships going back decades.

me too

sounds like you’re just fun and enjoyable to be around. People who are really ‘nice’ can be a bit intense/serious/boring sadly

People think I'm nice, but that's because I'm soft spoken and polite and pleasant looking. I'm not not particularly nice. I can be quite self absorbed but I'm not a cruel person.

I’m not the type to make friends easily, but I’m the first to help someone if they’re in trouble and I’m very loyal.
I find the less loyal a person is, the more friends they tend to have, because they call someone a friend very quickly and treat them more disposably.

I’m a disagreeable bitch.
Fortunately nobody has mistaken me for anything else on first meeting me.

Is "nice" the new "be kind"?

I think I am OK person. I don't like most people. I don't care for babies or children. I won't fake interest when people have kids.

I used to. I used to waste loads of time of my life picking the right present. Saying the right words. Spending the right amount of attention. Now, I don't. That, perhaps, makes me "not kind". I don't care though. Nobody else is living my life.

Nice is not a life goal for me, never has been. I try to act with integrity, am helpful, try to be a good friend, mother, etc, try to be supportive to others. But nice can be inauthentic, cloying and artificial so I don't aspire to be it.

Really really nice

I’ve a very nice genuine honest person but I don’t suffer fools and I treat people the way they treat me.
I won’t let myself be mugged off or my walked over.

Basically, I will be the best friend you’ve ever had unless you wrong me.

I was brought up to be nice.

However, I have a spiky side which means I'm not always nice, and thank goodness for that.

I get told I am a really lovely person and such a good friend.
But the thing is I am no ones best friend.

The friends I have all talk about their closest friend....but then mention some not very nice things that these so called friends have done or said to upset them.
Things I would never ever do....but I never make the cut

Being nice is such a bullshit thing girls are told.

We were talking about manners today, with 5 daughters we are constantly telling one or other to move over to let people pass or to say thank you etc and have noticed it's rare to find people under probably 60 who are polite. Be it thanking them for moving, or holding a door open for them etc.

My thought was why are we bothering when no one else does, my husbands view was we are teaching them the right way to behave and forget what others are doing it isn't for reciprocation its for our own pride.

Kindness I think is the same, if you are kind or show kindness it's not for reciprocation its for how it makes you feel. Choose when to be kind, but do not expect it back, no-one is 100% anything.

I'm human so it varies.

I can be nice.
I can simply not be a dick.
I can do basic politeness.
I can be a total dick .

Sometimes all in the span on an hour.

If you mean "nice" in actions then I know a lot of people like that. But they aren't nice as people. I think out of all the people I know, only one of them is genuinely nice. She has no wickedness in her or bad thoughts. She doesn't judge and doesn't talk about people. She is a unicorn.

DH reckons I am not very nice. Because basically I prioritise myself and my own safety and well-being. I would not intervene in a fight in case they turned on me. I would not attempt to stop a rape or mugging in case I got stabbed. I would not give someone life saving mouth to mouth resuscitation in case I caught a disease. My general rule is not to engage with people because they’re unpredictable and dangerous. I don’t put myself out for others.

I do try to be nice in small limited ways. I draw stuff for people for free, I share the apples off my tree with my neighbours, I look after elderly relatives, I tutor people’s kids for free occasionally. I move snails off the path so they don’t get stepped on. Little safe things that don’t have any inherent risk. So I would say I’m nice with a small n. Not “Nice”.

I lost all faith in people during the early stages of covid fear and I doubt it will ever return.
I can be nice but mostly I do not engage with too many people. I do not gossip or say mean things though.

I will always do the 'right thing'. I will always be the first to say "I'll do that" ..I'm a pretty loyal friend, though im so busy I can't/don't remember certain things ie dates/events.

I have helped so many 'friends' over the years..financially/emotionally/physically but rarely ask for anything back, my own worst enemy.

Would I be described as nice? No..because im not fake and insincere with my acts of kindness.

I'm old now, and getting tired of giving..I give less and less now, I save all my niceness to my nearest and dearest.

I'm nice I think, in the past I've been criticised for it. But I just prefer to have a good atmosphere, thats low in conflict. I also think collaborative work goes so much better when people contribute to a supportive atmosphere. That doesn't mean fake positivity and conflict avoidance but relationships that are high in compassion and understanding. I'm genuinely someone who thrives under these conditions and I've found a job now with others like this.