To wonder how other people afford to keep their house ‘nice’

[WaspLady]

I’m a single parent on low income, I work full time but have nothing left at the end of the month. Don’t buy myself clothes, go out or have any extravagances other than kids hobbies.

I have a housing association house which is absolutely falling to bits, we are expected to be responsible for most repairs ourselves but I don’t know how it’s possible to pay for it, if I owned the house then I guess I might be willing to go not debt/ remortgage to replace the kitchen (currently 18 years old and cabinets and worktops disintegrating rapidly!) and internal doors (I think same age as the house so been there at least 35 years and only one or 2 not had some kind of repair job, several just hanging on by a thread) or have a shower installed (currently only have a bath).

I go into neighbours homes and they have all put in nice kitchens, have had showers installed, replaced a lot of fittings etc, but how can anyone in a low income afford this? Where am I going wrong? I’m embarrassed to have anyone in my house and it makes me so depressed. It doesn’t matter how much I clean, paint and patch things up the house always looks awful 😞

Cheap bleach & cold water for scrubbing away to make clean and from that..

Facebook marketplace- put your requests out and you'll be amazed at what people were thinking of just throwing out or donating to charity that they'll be glad of you taking off their hands.

Make it an achievable project bit by bit...ie make everything neutral first by collecting paint and any flooring people have on offer (again market place / free cycle/ local waste centre have loads) then start adding in your personal taste. Great to be inspired by others places but don't compare..it being the thief of all joy and whatnot...

We did lots just by ourselves. There is YouTube video for everything. If you keep up with small things, they don't become big things. Like the door. You can corrects or move hindges yourself. Some things you obviously can't do yourself, but lots can be done to some point

You shouldn’t have to upgrade anyones property, that’s for the landlord to do. Repairs should also be on them!

Local Facebook bartering sites & freecycles often have people.offering entire kitchens which are being taken out, surplus flooring, carpets which are being replaced but barely worn etc as well as spare paints.
Maybe start there?

Thank you, for some reason I have no luck with Facebook marketplace, almost everything I’ve ever bought I’ve gone to pick up it and found it wasn’t as described or not with the money they are asking or I buy it and discover it’s broken .

I do try and do things myself following YouTube video but often things end up worse because I really don’t have much in the way of DIY talent! The kitchen cabinets have been fixed so many times that they are mostly just wood filler now!

@Bibbitybobbitty because it’s HA I don’t think I’d be allowed to buy a second hand kitchen and replace it myself. I wouldn’t be allowed to install a shower myself either as ironically work has to be signed off as meeting certain standards!

Make it clean and tidy. You tube a few simple repairs. Pick up a few cheap/free second hand decorative bits. Basically present what you do have, in the best way you can. Real friends will understand that you don’t have the money for more.

Do you have friends that would come to a diy afternoon and work in exchange for a bbq and a few beers? Lots of people all helping would be quite a party atmosphere.

All of the above, plus it is particularly hard as a single parent. Double income households will have more disposable income.

Don't beat yourself up about it. Some people go way too far as regards home decor these days and it's so unnecessary.

Just do what you can to make it clean and comfortable, and don't let it put you off living your life and having people round x

One thing I really want to do is remove the horrible peeling 80s textured wallpaper in the hall but I’m fairly sure the walls would need reskimmed before I could paint. It’s things like that that put me off doing anything. I ought a new tap to replace the mouldy kitchen tap then discovered the plumbing under the sink doesn’t match any example I can find online so I wasn’t able to do it in the end.

I don’t really have any friends I can ask for help, I don’t really have any probably because I would never invite anyone to my house!

Are you claiming all the financial help available? I am a single parent, renting and on an above average wage but still get some universal credit.

We got over skimming by buying nicer thick wallpaper on sale. So we just took old one off, filled holes, cleaned it and put new one on.
Dependa on your hallway though, we didn't have super super high ceiling. I would ask someone to come and help so they can hold a ladder

@summer3219 yes I get some UC as well but I have 3 kids. I’m not sure how anyone could pay for a joiner or similar if they are on a low income though. I’ve been saving up to get my garden fence replaced as the one I put up has fallen down and it’s taken me nearly a year to have have the amount I was quoted. I expect the price will have gone up significantly since then too.

You could steam and remove wallpaper, fill what you can with filler, sand and then put lining paper up. It won't look as good as a freshly plastered wall but it will look better.

I thought HAs put in new bathrooms and kitchens every 25yrs or so. I would also be unable to fit a kitchen or install a shower.

If you're on a low income will you get the cost of living payment in autumn? I expect you could pick up a cheap shower and get an electrician to fit it with the £300 from that (and it will save you a ton in gas and water money without needing hot baths every day for you all). Or a shower that runs off the taps may be something you could do yourself. I wouldn't be able to no matter how many youtube videos I'd watch as my brain and hands just don't work like that.

What I think makes a house look nice is getting the basics right. Layers and layers of paint on the walls, skirtings etc does just look like crap. You can tell the difference when someone sands things down, uses caulk between skirting board and wall, fills little holes and dents in. It doesn't matter how much your sofa costs or how nice your tv cabinet is if those basic things aren't done properly.

I'm really surprised you have to pay for your own fence OP!

How long ago did you put up the fence? Why can't the fallen one be repaired?

From those I know living in housing association or council houses, many are no longer on low incomes. They meet a partner who earns well, either don't declare he lives there or he doesn't declare all of his earnings, and they use the extra income for stuff like that (or in some friends situations, swanning off on expensive holidays or leasing flashy cars).

@ZeldaWillTellYourFortune because I made it out of bits of pallet and it looks absolutely horrible. I’m sure if my neighbours were mumsnetters there would have been an AIBU abiut my fence ruining the whole street 😂

If its a rented property then why not make a list of all the jobs that need doing that you consider to be landlord responsibility e.g kitchen replacement and put this in writing to the HA stating that the current standard of fixtures is unacceptable. If you get no response then try your local council housing team they can sometimes assist.

Repairs are absolutely NOT your responsibility, OP. In fact if you attempt them the HA may penalise you - for example, charging you for works to be re-done to their standard when you move out. And you can't usually install a bathroom or kitchen of your own in social housing. Your fence is absolutely the responsibility of your LL. This will all be in your tenancy agreement.

What an incredibly nasty post.

Just because you know people like this (and I'm sceptical tbh - do your friends share all their financial information with you?) doesn't mean that this is the norm. If you want anecdotal evidence, nobody on my small estate does this. Several have progressed in their jobs since moving in and are now on relatively respectable incomes - do you have an issue with this, or do you think that everyone in SH should remain on low incomes/benefits forever?

Also, if you talk about your friends like this, I think it's safe to say they're not your friends. People tend to like and respect their friends, and you clearly don't.

I knew this would be HA. Worst landlords ever.

lovely🙄

Good job we not all like that.

HA will not repair things you have done yourself.

I suppose different HA's have different rules. Mine fitted a new kitchen and bathroom around 12 years ago and will refit in about 3 years time (they refit every 15 years).

My mum lives in a HA property and she bought some of that fablon stuff from B&M and totally recovered her worktops and the cupboard doors and she used tile paint and bought a few little things like a new blind and little things to display on the windowsill and worktops and she did a massive de-clutter - it looked like a totally new kitchen and the fablon and paint was cheap.
She'd literally just pick things up as and when and did it when she'd got all the stuff together.

I'm using a similar strategy to do my sitting room - will finally be able to do it all in 2 weeks and can't wait after over a year of HATING my sitting room.