To wonder how other people afford to keep their house ‘nice’

[WaspLady]

I’m a single parent on low income, I work full time but have nothing left at the end of the month. Don’t buy myself clothes, go out or have any extravagances other than kids hobbies.

I have a housing association house which is absolutely falling to bits, we are expected to be responsible for most repairs ourselves but I don’t know how it’s possible to pay for it, if I owned the house then I guess I might be willing to go not debt/ remortgage to replace the kitchen (currently 18 years old and cabinets and worktops disintegrating rapidly!) and internal doors (I think same age as the house so been there at least 35 years and only one or 2 not had some kind of repair job, several just hanging on by a thread) or have a shower installed (currently only have a bath).

I go into neighbours homes and they have all put in nice kitchens, have had showers installed, replaced a lot of fittings etc, but how can anyone in a low income afford this? Where am I going wrong? I’m embarrassed to have anyone in my house and it makes me so depressed. It doesn’t matter how much I clean, paint and patch things up the house always looks awful 😞

@GillianMcQueef the HA only has responsibility for the back yard fences. Front fences were never provided but the garden goes straight into road so not safe for young children without a fence. If it’s a poor standard they can make me remove it and probably would in the case of the pallet fence!

@linelgreen they know and say they have no money to carry out replacements. The house are recognised as ‘substandard’ because of lack of proper heating and damp issues. Kitchens, internal doors and heaters are currently only being replaced between tenants so if I moved out the next tenants would get them replaced but because I’ve lived here for 15 years and won’t be moving any time soon I will probably never come to the top of the priority list!

Ring your housing association and find out when the next round of programmed refits of kitchens and bathrooms will be in your area.
I privately own and have had one new kitchen in nearly 25 years (i lived with the old one for 5 years before that). My friend who moved into a new build around the same time is on her 3rd kitchen as when he housing association decides its on its list to be done, it gets done whether it needs it or not.

I'm currently driving a '23 plate Mazda and "swanning of" to Australia next week so shove that up your judgmental arse.

Full disclosure...it's a replacement car whilst my old banger is in the garage and my trip is to attend my sibling's wedding that was postponed in 2020.

Recovering kitchen units/painting tiles isn't usually permitted by SH LLs, particularly if it's likely to damage the units/worktops/tiles when removed. Ours doesn't allow it. OP best to check with your LL before you make any changes.

HOW DARE YOU HAVE A LIFE WHILE LIVING IN SOCIAL HOUSING!!!!!!!1!1!1!!!

Seriously some of the attitudes on MN. If you live in SH and improve your lot you're all sorts of CF but if you live in SH and need to claim benefits you're a scrounging n'er do well.

@MrsMoastyToasty I think that’s it’s reasonable to expect a good quality kitchen to stretch ti 25 years at a push but the HA ones are understandably very low quality, cheapest material etc so they don’t have the same life expectancy as one you might buy for yourself!

Look up renter friendly fixes on YouTube.
You can paint your cabinets ( prep well and use Frenchic paint. One tin goes a long way)

You can cover countertops with sticky back plastic. I did that to buy me time while I’ve decided what to do with them, but they look great and have lasted two years.

There are stick on backsplashes which actually look good. If you don’t mind the tiles, just regrout.

I think you should speak to shelter about all of this OP and get some legal advice as it doesn't sound right what they're telling you.

They do have a duty towards keeping the house in a good state of repair and it seems they are failing it.

Contact the housing association. Many of them allow you to install a new kitchen as long as you obtain written permission.

Other than that, replacement kitchens, bathrooms etc are usually done by the HA as part of a programme of planned repairs. You can contact the HA and discuss the situation. Ask them to check with their investment teams to find out when the kitchen and bathroom are due to be replaced.

Your tenancy agreement will state that you are responsible for the internals, however if there are any repairs that are outstanding that are a health and safety issue, raise a repair request.

Look on the HA website and find its repair policy. It will tell you what repairs it is responsible for, how to raise a repair request and the timescales it which it needs to action the repair. If the HA doesn't follow its policy, then go through the complaints process. If still unresolved, refer to the Housing Ombudsman for free.

Is it feasible to become an actual pain in the arse to your HA, and keep on and on at them to do the safety repairs, ask for a time frame for kitchen / bathroom replacement, etc?

I would also approach Shelter and your local councillors or MP about the damp and heating issues.

I think painting makes the biggest difference and does not cost too much. You could test a tiny section of the 80s wallpaper to see what it's like underneath? Doors should last longer than 35 years, I think mine are more like 100 years - someone you know can probably repair them, my neighbour rehung mine for me when it fell off and it's been fine since. If you can learn how to grout, that can transform a bathroom without much cost. Doesn't help the shower situation but can you get one of those taps with a shower head attached?

I hear you OP, it’s miserable.

I’m lucky enough to own my house mortgage free, kept it after divorce, and it was an insane mistake because I’ve never been able to afford to maintain it. I’ve been here 30+ years but it’s non standard construction and not mortgageable now, so I could only sell it to a cash buyer. The solid oak kitchen and primrose bathrooms were done in the early 1980s, with wood veneer doors and aluminium windows. The brown Marley tiled kitchen floor is much older. The carpets are all over 30 years old.

I go to other houses and they’re all sparkling white gloss kitchens with white marble floors, spotless and immaculate, and here, no amount of scrubbing or product cleans the grubby grout or dull taps or clouded window panes. I’m late 60s and will never move, but this is the horrible dump that my AC will have to sell for peanuts to someone who’ll knock it down. Life, eh?

@S72 in reality it doesn’t work like that, they claim they don’t have the money and there is nothing that can be done. My daughter has extremely poor health and hard to manage asthma which sees her hospitalised in a regular basis, her consultant has written to the HA saying that her health issues are likely caused and exacerbated by substandard housing but they say there is nothing they can do. I hate living here, spend my whole life keeping in top of mould and damp and I know that this house is harming my children as well as my mental health but there is nothing I can do to fight it when the HA refuse to take responsibility. All the money they generate is used to build new houses which are badly needed in this area but we are paying for it with our rent and we see nothing being done to improve the conditions we live in.

@Serena73 solid wood doors will last for a long time. Cheap hollow plywood doors will not!

Neither your kitchen or doors are very old. It sounds like they have been treated poorly, and this is the issue. My parents have Victorian doors and a kitchen over 40 years old. All look great. You can refresh things cheaply. For example rehanging doors and fixing any defects. Painting kitchen doors. Dressing rooms nicely with plants and rugs etc makes a huge difference, as does a lick of paint. Loads of DIY cheap and easy ideas online.

You need to go to Shelter OP.

Landlords, whether private or social, can't just abdicate responsibility for repairs by saying they can't afford it. You pay your rent for a service, which the LL is bound by law to provide. I know it's daunting (I've been there myself) but you must fight this. As a PP suggested, talk to your MP (ours was brilliant when we were in a similar situation). Call in your repairs daily if you have to and if they fall on deaf ears, seek help from the housing ombudsman. Put in a formal complaint.

Landlords cannot treat tenants in this way, there are protections in place for tenants.

@MarySmit I’m sure the Victorian doors are actually made of wood though which would last a long time, they were probably good quality doors to begin with. HAs do not furnish houses with high quality sold wood fittings 🤦‍♀️

There is a DIY on a budget group on FB, and people have posted excellent pictures of stuff they have done on very little money using B and M , Amazon, Shein etc

There is a huge difference between solid Victorian doors and sturdy kitchens and the cheap crap HAs use. They're designed to last a tenancy/ten years or thereabouts, after which time they're replaced. No, it's not cost effective, but that's how HAs operate.

To suggest OP has treated her home poorly is out of order.

So? No one asked what people you know do. Take your judgement and stick it.
The op doesn't have a man on the side or a double income so your disgusting comment is irrelevant and clearly made to make you feel good

They not even standard doors either. My living room door fell off, as they only have these plastic crap hinges. The door fell on the table and there was a big dint, I've used poli filler, just needs sanding and painting.

Lendology might help? Not sure if it's just for homeowners but definitely for those on low incomes. I'm spreading the cost of my bathroom over 15 years! Fellow single parent.
Re; the walls, as a solution can you just put paintable wall paper over? Or if the wall does fall apart, ring the HA and ask them to reassess.
Also, with respect, we always focus on the stuff we don't have. They might be in shit relationships or in loads of debt!

Definitely remove the wallpaper you hate. Even imperfect painted walls will look better. Buy some powder filler, mix it up and apply over the worst holes with a paint scraper and sand when dry. I've saved myself having to replaster many walls doing this.

Just to make you feel better OP, we own our house and are only now slowly getting stuff done . Our hall is depressing me, but it's last to get done as I have another room to tackle upstairs first.
Plus we need a plasterer for our hall and that's not cheap, so trying to save for that.