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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About school attendance?

106 replies

AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:08

My dd school reward high attendance (98%)
This year they hired a Ice-cream van and all the children who got 98 or higher got to leave the classroom 30 min before end of lesson and have a Ice cream in full view of the other kids who had to continue with their work. (But could see the playground) this is primary age. Is it just me or is this mean?
Baring in mind some kids are disabled and have time off for hospital appointments/treatments. My child had a sickness bug and covid - we followed school policy.

OP posts:
35965a · 21/07/2023 20:46

Totally horrible. At my kids’ school they get a badge if over 97% which is not great but at least it’s just a badge. Missing out on a fun treat is too much.

Tessisme · 21/07/2023 20:48

AussiUnHomme · 21/07/2023 20:40

Life's not fair

So you reckon discrimination is ok? My son has Crohn's Disease and misses loads of school through no fault of his own (most children don't miss school through any fault of their own.) So yeah, it's ok to add to the misery of his illness by handing out prizes to children who are lucky enough to be well? Righty ho.

Stripeyjumper1 · 21/07/2023 20:49

PuttingDownRoots · 21/07/2023 20:44

The irony is most of the illnesses are caught of school (off kids whose parents send them in regardless to spread their gerns)

I was going to write exactly this!

Wheredidthebackboobscomefrom · 21/07/2023 20:50

YANBU

Mischance · 21/07/2023 20:50

I am finding this extremely hard to believe.

Original poster
AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:50

RoomOnTheBrooms · 21/07/2023 20:11

I'm a teacher and I hate attendance awards. Especially at primary age. As you say, children may have additional needs/medical needs. Also, it's not the child's fault if a parent chooses not to take their child to school

Agreed they are hardly choosing to have a day off

OP posts:
usernotfound0000 · 21/07/2023 20:51

YANBU and that comes from someone who's DD received an award for attendance. I made it clear to get that she only got it as she was lucky enough not to be ill or have a long-standing condition.

Original poster
AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:52

dutysuite · 21/07/2023 20:18

Never agreed with this sort of thing, my children have had 100% attendance some years but two of my children’s friends have health problems which require hospital appointments so they alway miss out on these events. It reminds me of the PTA mother and father’s Day craft morning at one of my children’s schools - children had to pay to make a card for their parent , if they couldn’t pay £5.00 they’d have to sit and watch the others participate in the session.

That's awful

OP posts:
Original poster
AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:53

Jojobees · 21/07/2023 20:25

This sort of thing incenses me. My child would be devastated to have to watch healthy non disabled children get a treat, for the luck of good health.
He did not choose to be born with a serious disability. I do not control when his various specialist appointments are.
A certificate is bad enough a bloody ice cream is awful treatment.
I would complain to the governors.

I have complained I don't think I was the only one

OP posts:
tallcypowder · 21/07/2023 20:53

Mischance · 21/07/2023 20:50

I am finding this extremely hard to believe.

The attendance ice cream van?

Blueskysunflower · 21/07/2023 20:54

I’m just wondering where they got the budget for ice cream van hire. My kid’s school has a deficit in the tens of thousands and is at the stage of begging for donations to buy basic items for the curriculum (art supplies, bean seeds for science project etc) - I’d be absolutely furious if they were spending money on ice cream vans to reward kids for not getting sick.

ActDottie · 21/07/2023 20:54

Blame OFSTED

If a school fails on safeguarding or attendance they fail the whole thing, it’s wrong to put such a heavy weighting on attendance. Safeguarding yes, but attendance no.

Original poster
AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:54

Minnie849 · 21/07/2023 20:34

No YANBU, how they think that works is ridiculous. Teaches primary age children to feel shit about themselves.

For context my little one has just had an excellent school report but marked her down in attendance. (Requires improvement)
Shes had 2 days for sickness and about 6 days when her daddy died (shes 7)
I was told to point out why she was off school and have it amended. Ive got more important things to do but if theyd had her sit in a classroom and watch others get a treat Id have been livid.
Sometimes there is NO common sence

That's unbelievable Flowers

OP posts:
BellaJuno · 21/07/2023 20:55

Mischance · 21/07/2023 20:50

I am finding this extremely hard to believe.

A quick google shows multiple schools have done this, it’s very much a thing unfortunately!

Dragonsandcats · 21/07/2023 20:55

Dreadful. I’d be pulling my child out of school that day and reducing their attendance figures. And I think the school is definitely to blame on this. Most schools don’t do it. Such an ableist policy. My kid had an operation for a bad fracture this year - they’d rather not have had the accident in the first place but yay, let’s punish them further.

Original poster
AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:57

Mischance · 21/07/2023 20:50

I am finding this extremely hard to believe.

Happened on Wednesday. Parents not told in advance obviously

OP posts:
Idtotallybangdreamoftheendlessnotgonnalie · 21/07/2023 20:58

That's horrible. Little kids can't get to school under their own steam, you're basically rewarding them for having decent parents and a lucky roll of the health dice.

You might as well reward the ones with a certain hair or eye colour for all the relevance it has to a hard work ethic and scholarly behaviour.

Original poster
AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:58

Blueskysunflower · 21/07/2023 20:54

I’m just wondering where they got the budget for ice cream van hire. My kid’s school has a deficit in the tens of thousands and is at the stage of begging for donations to buy basic items for the curriculum (art supplies, bean seeds for science project etc) - I’d be absolutely furious if they were spending money on ice cream vans to reward kids for not getting sick.

I don't know but I we have quite a decent PTA so wondered if they supplied the funds

OP posts:
Dragonsandcats · 21/07/2023 21:00

AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:57

Happened on Wednesday. Parents not told in advance obviously

Show quote history

Then I’d pulled them out the next day and taken them for ice cream!

clairea123 · 21/07/2023 21:02

I would like to see someone take a school to court under DDA- I think it’s discriminatory towards children with disabilities which prevent them from getting high levels of attendance.
My dd could never achieve 100% levels of attendance and I’m pleased her school didn’t have these ridiculous rules.
To pp who said it’s not school’s fault- I disagree. Ofsted stipulate measures need to be taken for poor attendance but not that these ‘incentives’ need to be taken- that is up to the school. There’s plenty of other attendance management strategies- my children have been to 5 separate schools in our area- all rated good or outstanding by ofstead and not one has these ridiculous policies

sadsack78 · 21/07/2023 21:04

YANBU

That seems incredibly cruel.

It's punishing kids for the actions of their parents. At that age, it is not the responsibility of the child to make sure they're in school.

Some kids have chronic illnesses that mean days off sick and at the doctor's.

Not to mention the fact that kids might be kept home from school because their home is dysfunctional or abusive. A friend of mine missed days of school as a child because he was beaten and his parents wanted to hide the bruises.

Whoever came up with this idea is at very best a thoughtless fool. And that's giving them the benefit of the doubt.

SuchiRolls · 21/07/2023 21:05

At my sons the kids with >96% got a great attendance badge…and I thought that was a bit unnecessary and mean. Hiring a whole ice-cream van and allowing the children with >98% attendance to have one in full view of those that did not get that level of attendance, through no fault of their own? Ridiculous. And they preach that they are inclusive and support children with their mental health and then pull stuff like that out of the bag 🤦🏻‍♀️ beggars belief. Mean and inconsiderate, beyond words!

AussiUnHomme · 21/07/2023 21:07

Tessisme · 21/07/2023 20:48

So you reckon discrimination is ok? My son has Crohn's Disease and misses loads of school through no fault of his own (most children don't miss school through any fault of their own.) So yeah, it's ok to add to the misery of his illness by handing out prizes to children who are lucky enough to be well? Righty ho.

Show quote history

Might as well learn that at an early age.

He probably wouldn't like the ice cream anyway.

MermaidEyes · 21/07/2023 21:09

@AussiUnHomme kids with Crohn's already learn they're disadvantaged at an early age compared to their perfectly healthy peers 🙄

Emeraldrings · 21/07/2023 21:09

AutieNOT0tie · 21/07/2023 20:53

I have complained I don't think I was the only one

Show quote history

Good for you and any other parents who complained. I'd have been livid if it happened to my child. My DDs both have problems with their ears and needed operations on them along with check ups at hospital every two months but at least they just missed out on a piece of paper (certificate ). If it had been a proper treat like this I'm not sure what I would have said.
I'd ask who's idea it was and then ask that person if they'd like to penalized for ill health and if they just enjoy hurting and humiliating children.