Anyone else feel like their look isn't very feminine?

[Selmaandpatty]

Sometimes I do wonder about how I come across, I shouldn't worry what others think but I can't help it.
My hair is in a very short 'French' bob, or a micro bob as it's also known. I don't wear make up apart from a bit of concealer. I just wear one pair of studs and a small chain around my neck.
I don't wear nail varnish, don't have false eyelashes (I liked the look of them, but can't afford the upkeep), don't get my nails done.
Dye my own very dark brown hair just to cover the greys.
In this sort of weather, I'm usually in jeans or leggings and a long top with a cardigan, or maybe a hoodie. The last time I wore heels was at a wedding 4 years ago, I own a pair of boots with a slight heel on and that's it.
Usually in trainers, brogues or pumps.
Anyway, I see so many women in make up, long hair, 'feminine' outfits. My clothes are fitted but I don't wear skirts regularly, I like dresses but usually if it's hot and sunny, same with shorts.
I have no idea how people afford salon highlights, false nails, eyelashes and fake tan every month!
Anyway, I've started wondering recently if I should make more effort. I wonder if I look really bland, I'm 32. Interested to know if anyone else has this sort of approach.
I shower and wash my hair daily, always use deodorant and body spray etc, so that's never an issue.

I think tattoos can be very feminine

Also, fashion changes, and currently many young women espouse the Kardashian look: extremely body con clothing, ironed long hair, exaggerated lips and lashes, heavy contouring, long acrylic nails. That style may not be for you, so you need to find confidence in a style that reflects you. If you're unhappy with your appearance, maybe go on S&B for specific advice?

I have always loved clothes/fashion and I suppose my look is very feminine, I enjoy spending the time choosing, looking for, and putting together what i love to wear, always wear make up, have my hair done and like having my nails done, I did once try false lashes and it bought the hose down I looked like daisy the cow Im 60 now and if anything my 'wardrobe hobby' is only going to grow due to my increased spending power HOWEVER, all of this should be enjoyable, fun and the end result make you feel happy. If that is not your style then so be it, so long as you are happy and present your personality in the way you feel comfortable then job done.

I’m early 40s. I dress like a student most of the time. Rarely wear make up. I do dress smarter for work but not feminine unless a special event. I wouldn’t know how to do it 😂 My hair just exists. It gets cut when I remember. It’s fine, thin and straight.

I grew up wanting to be a boy. I now no longer want to be a boy but will never be feminine. I don’t care. Happily married for 20 years to a man who doesn’t give a toss what I wear as long as I like it and feel comfortable.

I agree with you, @thebabessavedme - it's great to experiment and have fun rather than go with what you think you ought to wear.

There is no right or wrong, how boring would it be if we all had the same tastes and style!
If that's what you enjoy wearing and makes you feel comfortable and confident, then keep going.

My personal style is non-existant haha, mostly because of sensory issues, if I know I'll be out all day, it's definitely leggings and a long top; if it's a shorter work day, I can do jeans and a button up. I like to dress up sometimes (if it's for a short time) but other times give me all the baggy clothes.

I haven't worn heels for about 15 years, most I go these days is a wedge. I haven't missed them either, back then I couldn't afford a good brand so they were uncomfortable and bad for my feet.

I do wear my hair long but that's because I can't be bothered to go to the hairdresser's more than once a year.

And I do enjoy makeup because it's like a creative outlet and helps with anxiety.

Jewellery I don't really wear, again - sensory issues...

So there you have it.
Enjoy who you are 🥰

So many different ways to look feminine, your style sounds quite cool to me

not sure false lashes would suit your aesthetic?

I don’t think we need to put other women’s appearance down to feel good about ourselves. It’s fine if women want long hair , nails, tan, skirts etc, it is their right to choose, as much as its others womens right to choose differently.

as for how they afford it, generally it’s they have the disposable income, everyone earns different and has different costs.

I agree. It's tough enough being a woman without ridiculous "standards".

I always felt like I make a lot less effort than most my friends! I don’t have my nails, eyebrows or eyelashes done. Just in the past year at the age of 46 I’ve started having my hair coloured at the salon.
I have medium length naturally curly hair which unless I’m going out I let dry naturally.
However I don’t leave the house without make up because otherwise I look like something from the walking dead!!
I don’t wear lipstick or eyeshadow unless going out.
Usually in jeans, long dresses in summer
I get a lot of compliments when I do go out and I’ve always enjoyed being able to glam it up and make an effort for those occasions.

You’re probably just noticing the ultra-‘feminine’ looks because that’s what’s on your mind at the moment, and the fashion is for long, wavy hair and clingy crop tops for young women. When I look at my friends in their 30s-50s, we have hair from pixie cuts to just-below collar bone, mostly no-to-minimal makeup (occasional bright lipstick), some in v comfy outdoorsy stuff, some in Scandi-androgyny stuff, some in floral dresses, mostly in jeans and T-shirts.

The joy of not being a teen anymore is that I don’t feel I have to worry about trends in the same way - your look sounds amazing, v cool and chic, and you can just play in that sandpit with colour, sunglasses, occasional painted nails, different necklace, a different length of trousers if you want.

As I said, your look sounds really cool and just look at Pinterest for looks like yours if you want to play around with it. Try not to internalise the capitalist message of LOOK LIKE THIS TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS. Good luck, OP.

I don't wear heels, make up, have short hair and am mostly in sports kit all the time.

I do have my nails painted every 3 weeks and my eyelashes done the same. Also I have my eyebrows micro bladed.

I feel it off-sets the short hair and I'd feel even less feminine without my lashes 🤦‍♀️

My style is feminine, I suppose, but it doesn't have to involve spending much money

Is this in real life?

I was in Glasgow recently (always fashionable imv) and noticed some super outfits but not particularly the rest of the stuff you mention.

I'm super girly sometimes, dresses and plaited hair twisted up on my head.

Other days it's jeans and a strong shirt

I don't wear make up.

I don't think I'm not feminine.

If you feel like you look good then I'm sure you do. I love the sound of your style

Try not to internalise the capitalist message of LOOK LIKE THIS TO ACHIEVE HAPPINESS.

I came on to say this! All the fake nails, spend more money, put more chemicals on yourself - it's where capitalism means patriarchy. It's burning the planet down and it's pernicious. Resist!!

None of what you outlined sounds particularly "feminine" to me OP. It's just a particular look that's in fashion at the moment.

A woman can look feminine in jeans if she wants to have a feminine look, or she can look brilliant in jeans rocking an androgynous look, or any other type of look. It's what she feels comfortable in that matters.

Each to their own but I really don't like the false eyelashes, false nails, excessively made up look. To me it looks artificial, it's expensive, it's time consuming.
I have a very natural, low maintenance look but this doesn't make me any less of a woman!

Wear what you like and balls to any perceived wanting to look a way because others do. I have a huge mix of clothes, yesterday I was in leggings, gold trainers and a deep maroon coloured flowy t.shirt top, another was jeans and an old gaming t.shirt and another it was a flowery dress and heels.

I myself don’t have the time , energy or money to have spray tan , manicures , pedicures , fake lashes, lash extensions and so on .

I do go to the hairdresser every 8 weeks for colour and cut and get eyebrows waxed on the same day at the salon across the road from the hairdresser to save time .
my eyebrows would be a gigantic dark messy monobrow if I didn’t do that 😂
I wear some makeup but it’s very light makeup as I have quite light eyelashes and if I didn’t wear a little bit of mascara , blush I’d look unwell 😆
My clothes are fairly plain so I guess to some people I might look boring , I’m not fussed really .
I do wear dresses but just semi fitted above knee length with tights and boots ,
I find that very comfortable .
you probably look really nice in all honesty just as you are x

I'm covered in tattoos from collarbone to feet. Don't care about being "feminine."