My husband and I aren’t in a great place. Together 15 years, married 8, 2 dc 1 and 5. We don’t argue and he has a lot of good qualities, but various issues over the years have sent us both in a bit of a spiral where we don’t feel particularly loved by the other, and it becomes a vicious cycle. We had a big chat last night and both said we want to make it work, but effort needs to be made big time on both of our parts. I’m definitely in the ‘what about the kids’ way in thinking about what if we split up. One issue we’ve always had is he’s African and he doesn’t think I take enough interest in his culture. There are various reasons for this that I could go into but will make this super long. But I do agree to an extent that I could show more interest. He goes home every couple of years. His home country isn’t a war zone or anything but it’s deprived and only a few weeks ago one of his friends and he were talking about if you become ill whilst visiting then there’s a high chance you won’t come out of hospital. My husband has lost 3 brothers who still lived there. His parents have never met our kids. We always said we’d go out there when they are a bit older but now his parents are getting old and his dad in particular is in ill health. He said last night he really wants us to all go out there next year. I expressed my concerns about healthcare which he kid of just dismissed, but I said if it’s important to him that we’ll go. I’m now worrying about it and what if my kids get ill whilst there. AIBU to say I don’t want us to go given I do admit I need to try harder with his family. I know if it was the other way round my parents would be devastated to have never met my kids. I just can’t shake the safety side of things. Please go easy on me, I was a bit shocked by some of what he said last night as although I knew we do t have a lot of time for each other at the moment I didn’t realise we were quite so far into the spiral of potentially not staying together forever. Thanks for reading.