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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset about my children growing up?

45 replies

BigBlubberingBaby · 20/07/2023 16:16

DC are 16, 13, and 11 and I would like to preface this by acknowledging how lucky I am to have the privilege of watching my children grow up.

I was clearing out the loft today and found so many of thier old things. I was having a lovely time going through everything, reminiscing about all the fun times they've had over the years.

I came across a weird looking teddy and tried to remember what show it was from but all I could recall was that it was on cbeebies and they were these floaty things with big eyes, so searched that and found the show - waybuloo. Searched on youtube to make sure and oh my god, I was not prepared. About 3 seconds into the intro I was a wreck. It was like the song transported me back to when they were little and the nostalgia has honestly knocked me for six.

I've been weeping on and off since 11 this morning and just can't seem to pull myself together. I've never experienced this emotion and have always been excited watching my children grow up but right now I'd do absolutely anything to go back and have my big ones be little ones again.

OP posts:
Esmereldapawpatrol · 20/07/2023 16:18

It's my DS's last day at Primary tomorrow, I totally know what you mean.

So excited for them and the new opportunities but I can't believe where my baby has gone!!!

EVHead · 20/07/2023 16:20

It’s something to catch yourself doing, and distract yourself!

DD is all grown up and although I love seeing old photos of her eg on Facebook memories, I don’t dwell on them. There’s no happiness to be found in doing that.

Wherethewildthymeblows · 20/07/2023 16:22

It's normal. Take heart though. There are still good days to come.

ForeverFriendsAndPierrot · 20/07/2023 16:23

I feel that way watching the tots tv intro!

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 20/07/2023 16:25

I get you OP. I’m feeling the exact same way. DC1 has applied for a provisional license which came through today and their national insurance number. It’s all getting so real now.

Superher · 20/07/2023 16:25

Oh my goodness, I feel you. It’s so hard!

Original poster
BigBlubberingBaby · 20/07/2023 16:44

Thank you for making me feel like I'm not going mad. I think I spent so much of their younger years willing them to get older and looking forward to all the new and exciting things they could do with age and not really enjoying them when I had the chance. Now I've gone the opposite way and am wanting them to go backwards so I can appreciate them more. This wistful longing is such a pointless feeling. Theres nothing I can do to go back. And in 5 or 10 years time I'll probably be wishing I could be where I am now

OP posts:
TotalllyTireddd · 20/07/2023 16:48

Esmereldapawpatrol · 20/07/2023 16:18

It's my DS's last day at Primary tomorrow, I totally know what you mean.

So excited for them and the new opportunities but I can't believe where my baby has gone!!!

Same!

Margoliciously · 20/07/2023 16:50

Wait until you watch them graduate, it’s very emotional for lots of reasons!

BrutusMcDogface · 20/07/2023 16:53

That waybuloo music used to reduce me to tears even back then when they were tiny- I couldn’t possibly listen to it now!

I have one leaving year 6, one leaving year r, one a really struggling hormonal teenager. I feel sad for her because she was such a happy kid.

Tetchypants · 20/07/2023 16:56

I’d do anything to have little kids again, the teenage years are not as much fun and I empathise OP. I’m glad of Facebook memories popping up, lovely to remember the good times when they were (mainly) cute and we did loads together.

catgirl1976 · 20/07/2023 16:59

I'm another one who has a DC finishing primary school tomorrow and I keep finding myself weeping. I'll be a mess at the leavers assembly

I thank my lucky stars every day that I have the privilege of seeing him grow up and I am excited for his future and delighted by the boy he has become and the amazing young man he shows promise of being but god it's so hard too. I miss his little toddler voice and his chubby little legs so much

Llamallamadingdong · 20/07/2023 17:09

My DD leaves primary school tomorrow- I was a total mess at the leavers assembly despite being someone who doesn’t tend to get sentimental.

Flowers to everyone feeling all the emotions!

Tetchypants · 20/07/2023 17:09

Remember that bit in Waybuloo, time for yogo. It hypnotised my children, and I used to sit with my eyes closed listening to the chimes and imaging I was in a quiet forest, all by myself. Loved those two minutes of pure peacefulness😂

otherwayup · 20/07/2023 17:16

I hate all the social media crap about 'freezing time' and 'please stop growing'

Your children growing up is nothing but a huge privilege. The alternative is horrific.

My dc are adults now and these are the best years I've had with them and I can't wait for the next stage.

All the emotive, over the top rubbish that seems to be the thing when children leave primary school needs to stop too.
Leaving primary school never used to be a month long sob fest. The poor children at my school end up wrecks by the time they've had weeks of parties, leavers shows etc
Whatever happened to saying cheerio on the last day with minimal fuss?!

frecklejuice · 20/07/2023 17:23

Oh my goodness this is me, mine are 14 and 9 and I'm dreading the 9 year old getting any older because she's going to be off doing her own thing. At the same time though I love watching them grow and seeing their personalities mature but also my babies 😩😂

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 20/07/2023 17:27

It's really hard, I miss that little girl who used to follow me around.

Dd had her first driving lesson today, talking about going off to uni next year 🥺

HideousKinky · 20/07/2023 17:28

Our 3 DDs are now in their 30s and we recently had a lot of home videos from their childhood transferred to digital. We all spent a very happy afternoon watching them together, lots of laughter etc but for the next few days I felt unaccountably sad & wistful.... so I do understand how you feel OP

Coleslawclara · 20/07/2023 17:30

@otherwayup - totally agree!

Sweetashunni · 20/07/2023 17:32

YANBU and mine are 4 and a baby. For some reason giving birth to DC2 has made me really nostalgic for when DC1 was a baby, probably because this time round it’s more hectic with 2 and the first time round it’s such a special and relaxed experience IYKWIM? I also get very nostalgic for when I was pregnant with DC1, I had a great pregnancy and really enjoyed dressing my bump up to go out for meals with DP, we would chat excitedly about our impending arrival and just do lovely things like long walks and antenatal classes. Second time round I had loads of problems (thankfully DC2 is fine) and due to having DC1, meals and classes didn’t happen. But still - making the most of now, or trying to, as no stage is forever. 😢

GoodnightJude1 · 20/07/2023 17:33

I took DD2 to look around some 6th form colleges last week. That was the first time it really hit me that she’s growing up. I was teary all evening after because I know she’s so ready to head off on her own. She has big plans for her future and I’m bursting with pride but a little bit of me wants it all to slow down so I can keep her with me for longer.

Her brother on the other hand…😂

YouJustDoYou · 20/07/2023 17:35

I'm dreading the years where they're gone. So many families with older adult children that I know have the adult kids living far away (for jobs/partners etc) and they barely see them due to distance. I'm scared of that. But have a good decade left hopefully before that happens so just trying to enjoy every moment with them I can now. It's sad though, knowing that them leaving will happen, though of course it does have to happen one day.

SwattyPie · 20/07/2023 17:35

Totally get this. All the time. I have rose tinted glasses, but they were such happy, happy times. I remember youngest holding my hand on the way to school, quite late on, and thinking "she's too old for this really, but god, don't let it end". Gritting my teeth through the teen years, but they do come back, so hang on in there. Can't wait for grandchildren, much to my teenage daughters' horror 😂

Jadebanditchillipepper · 20/07/2023 17:37

I know how you feel. My youngest child leaves Primary school tomorrow (we've been going up and down the hill the same school for 16 years since her older sister was in nursery) and I'm so sad. I'm sure I'll have got over it by Monday and be looking forward to the next chapter, but It's just so sad knowing we won't be going there any longer.

Teapleasebobb · 20/07/2023 17:38

Tbf op, the intro to Waybaloo made me blub even when my dc was little, so I would totally go to pieces if I listened to it now!
Dd is off to uni this year and I just can't think about that now, no idea how ill cope with that! Ds has one more year at juniors then off to secondary, that's gonna be a tough one for me too