Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Complementary wine.

43 replies

starfis · 20/07/2023 11:52

Ok, we stayed at a air bnb and there was a complementary wine for us in the fridge which we didn’t have (I don’t drink wine) we took it when we checked out (last year Feb.) and I have now packaged it for a thank you gift for daughter's teacher & hubby is saying it is his drink and saying why am I giving his drink away.
Am I being unreasonable to think it is not his drink that he is mad & childish?

We have lots of wines and spirit at home and this wine I have packaged is not like an expensive bottle in my opinion because I have not touched any of his cherished expensive brands.

AIBU to have packaged that bottle as a gift?
AIBU to pissed off he is saying the wine is his?
AIBU not to have asked him 1st?
AIBU to think he is silly and childish?

OP posts:
1987qwerty · 20/07/2023 11:56

He's being a twat

Readyplayerthr33 · 20/07/2023 12:00

He sounds like a child. Must be exhausting if this is indicative of his behaviour normally.

toastofthetown · 20/07/2023 12:00

If you don’t drink wine, then surely assumption was that the bottle taken from the Airbnb is your husband’s. It’s not your decision to make whether it’s better or worse than other wines you have, and whether he has other bottles available. It’s his wine, and giving it away as a gift without asking is unreasonable. I don’t think it’s silly or childish not to want your stuff given away as gifts.

Sigmama · 20/07/2023 12:01

I would have asked him first, he might have been looking forward to it

Jongleterre · 20/07/2023 12:01

Seek h as he has loads of wine already and this bottle is nothing special then I think k it's a good idea to use a gift.

KimberleyClark · 20/07/2023 12:02

I think YABU on all counts.

Sigmama · 20/07/2023 12:03

I presume you both paid for the air bnb

mindutopia · 20/07/2023 12:04

I mean I don't think it's a big deal on his part - surely he can just buy a bottle of wine if he wants one (which he obviously hasn't for 18 ish months).

But I think YABU to gift wine as a teacher gift personally. You don't know if the teacher in question drinks or can't have alcohol in the house for whatever reason (students do give me alcohol sometimes and it's a bit annoying as I'm an alcoholic, but dh will drink it, but it's a bit of a shit gift tbf). It's also a bit not very special as you are just re-gifting something you took from an Airbnb. But I guess only you know if you know this teacher well enough for it to be an appropriate and appreciated gift.

MinnieMountain · 20/07/2023 12:06

We both drink wine. I’d still check with DH before giving one away.

readbooksdrinktea · 20/07/2023 12:08

KimberleyClark · 20/07/2023 12:02

I think YABU on all counts.

This.

You should have asked. And I think it's unreasonable to give a teacher wine.

liveforsummer · 20/07/2023 12:10

Fwiw all the teachers I work with love it when they are gifted wine 😊

GardeningIdiot · 20/07/2023 12:15

Just say "Fine. I'll leave the choice and wrapping of teacher's present to you."

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/07/2023 12:18

Oh, what was his plan for the teacher present?

Just say "Fine. I'll leave the choice and wrapping of teacher's present to you."

Also this

liveforsummer · 20/07/2023 12:19

GardeningIdiot · 20/07/2023 12:15

Just say "Fine. I'll leave the choice and wrapping of teacher's present to you."

Good idea!

ImNotReallySpartacus · 20/07/2023 12:25

Why is it his wine rather than yours?

mondaytosunday · 20/07/2023 12:33

Presumably as you don't not drink wine, that bottle was taken as he would have liked to drink it at a later date. So I think it's reasonable to ask before giving it away.
If it had been a complimentary chocolates and he didn't eat chocolate but you did, wouldn't you be annoyed if you found out he'd given them away? I would be.

toastofthetown · 20/07/2023 12:33

ImNotReallySpartacus · 20/07/2023 12:25

Why is it his wine rather than yours?

For the same reason that the complementary face mask from a hotel DH and I stayed in together is mine not his. It’s something that I’ll use and he has no interest in. I wouldn’t be happy if he gave it away as a gift without asking me.

WeWereInParis · 20/07/2023 12:35

Hmm, my DH doesn't drink wine. If there was some complimentary wine that we took from an air bnb, I would probably view it as mine and not for him to decide what to do with it. I'd be thinking "ooh a nice bottle of wine, I'll take that home to drink sometime" and wouldn't expect him to give it away.
And if it was cider (which I don't drink) I'd view it as DH's and wouldn't decide what was done with it.

AgnesX · 20/07/2023 12:36

Oh for heaven's sake..... presumably you both paid for it out of joint funds? He's being dog in the manger especially if it's not a posh bottle (unlikely).

MaybeSmaller · 20/07/2023 12:38

Why is it his wine rather than yours?

OP doesn't drink though? I assume the intention behind taking it was that DH would drink it as it would be odd to take something from an AirBNB that you never intended to use.
If it's genuinely a cheap bottle of wine like a Bare Foot or something then it's stupid for him to get upset over it, although it's a bit of a shitty gift TBH. At today's supermarket prices it's a bit like gifting someone a 4 pack of Heinz baked beans.
If it is a truly nice bottle that he had his heart set on drinking, then YABU.

Soakitup37 · 20/07/2023 12:38

If the tables were turned and it was an item she was interested in and partner zero interest, and partner gave it away bet mn would be all over the bastard for giving it away without checking first.

Sunshineandflipflops · 20/07/2023 12:53

liveforsummer · 20/07/2023 12:10

Fwiw all the teachers I work with love it when they are gifted wine 😊

This! I am from a family of teachers and a few of my close friends are too and they would all appreciate wine and it's what I used to give my my dc's teachers. Made a change from the multiple boxes of chocolates they usually get (that often get re-gifted as not to taste or too many).

But no, I don't think YABU - I would have assumed if he hadn't drunk it by now he wasn't too bothered about it and could easily buy himself another bottle when he does fancy one?

Original poster
starfis · 20/07/2023 12:56

Well, my hubby does not drink much at all - maybe once in 8 weeks (hence we have had the bottle there for over a year and many other drinks for years and some over a decade) and I do drink but only spirits.

But we do collect bottles of wine and spirits and we have loads of them hence I do not see why giving this bottle to child's teacher as a problem.

OP posts:
toastofthetown · 20/07/2023 12:59

Of course you don’t see a problem giving it away. You were never going to drink the wine.

Original poster
starfis · 20/07/2023 13:00

I wouldn't mind if the table was turned

If it is an item I am interested in and he is gifting it to our child's teacher to say thank you, I wouldn't mind especially because it's just sitting there for over a year and then it saves a little bit of money as we do not need to spend a dime to buy any gift. 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread