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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Complementary wine.

43 replies

starfis · 20/07/2023 11:52

Ok, we stayed at a air bnb and there was a complementary wine for us in the fridge which we didn’t have (I don’t drink wine) we took it when we checked out (last year Feb.) and I have now packaged it for a thank you gift for daughter's teacher & hubby is saying it is his drink and saying why am I giving his drink away.
Am I being unreasonable to think it is not his drink that he is mad & childish?

We have lots of wines and spirit at home and this wine I have packaged is not like an expensive bottle in my opinion because I have not touched any of his cherished expensive brands.

AIBU to have packaged that bottle as a gift?
AIBU to pissed off he is saying the wine is his?
AIBU not to have asked him 1st?
AIBU to think he is silly and childish?

OP posts:
WeWereInParis · 20/07/2023 13:00

starfis · 20/07/2023 12:56

Well, my hubby does not drink much at all - maybe once in 8 weeks (hence we have had the bottle there for over a year and many other drinks for years and some over a decade) and I do drink but only spirits.

But we do collect bottles of wine and spirits and we have loads of them hence I do not see why giving this bottle to child's teacher as a problem.

Oh I missed how long ago you got the bottle. In that case yes, I think it's fair game.

honeylulu · 20/07/2023 13:09

Is everyone missing that they've had the wine since February 2022??? If he wanted it he'd have glugged it by now. Fair presumption that he doesn't want it! And I don't think it's "his" wine regardless of who likes/drinks wine or not. Joint funds, joint holiday, joint complimentary gift. There is furniture in our house (for example) pretty much exclusively used by me but I don't call it MY desk/chair etc. All of it is ours.

Bookworm20 · 20/07/2023 15:44

The fact you were gifted the wine in the airbnb (for you both. The fact you don't drink it is irrelevant)
The fact he hasn't shown any interest in drinking it since february 2022
The fact he has plenty of other bottles of wine in the house which he has, I assume, preferred to work his way through over this one,
equals, to me, that he is being silly and childish.

And yes I second telling him to sort the teacher gift out next year then if he thinks he can do a better job.

Spirallingdownwards · 20/07/2023 15:47

Say you won't use it but can you have a tenner off him to buy some wine for the teacher. I bet he soon changes his tune.

BarbaraofSeville · 20/07/2023 15:50

If it was given away by the AirBnb it was unlikely to be anything particularly special or unique.

If he was planning on drinking it, he's had almost 18 months to do so and he hasn't.

If you don't give this wine, you've got to find another present, which it doesn't sound like he's doing anything about.

So YANBU on all four counts.

Give him a choice. You give the wine as a gift, or he goes out and buys something else, wraps it up and gives it to the teacher.

C1N1C · 20/07/2023 16:07

My wife does this... we amass chocolates, etc, in our goodie cabinet that we eventually get to in the evenings. I'll come home to find one is missing because she needed a last-minute gift for a friend, which actually happens a lot as she's quite social.

She also has a habit of giving away anything she sets her eyes on while guests are here as a "thank you for coming" gift... and as it's in front of the guests, you can't exactly say "errr, no!"

So I absolutely get this. It's annoying and disrespectful.

ManateeFair · 20/07/2023 16:16

He's being absurd, and so are some of the po-faced PPs responding that you should have consulted him before giving away 'his stuff'.

It was a freebie from a fucking Airbnb, for god's sake. It wasn't a personal gift from a cherished friend. It will be a bog-standard bottle of booze that you could easily replace from the bloody supermarket if he's that bothered. He's a twat.

Pinkflamingopants · 20/07/2023 17:32

I can’t imagine why on earth he cares - if it’s just a standard bottle of wine why can’t he just replace it? More to the point, who keeps a standard bottle of wine for over a year and doesn’t drink it?!!

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 20/07/2023 17:46

It won't be very nice by now anyway, unless it is good quality wine which has been carefully stored under optimum conditions.

liveforsummer · 20/07/2023 21:16

C1N1C · 20/07/2023 16:07

My wife does this... we amass chocolates, etc, in our goodie cabinet that we eventually get to in the evenings. I'll come home to find one is missing because she needed a last-minute gift for a friend, which actually happens a lot as she's quite social.

She also has a habit of giving away anything she sets her eyes on while guests are here as a "thank you for coming" gift... and as it's in front of the guests, you can't exactly say "errr, no!"

So I absolutely get this. It's annoying and disrespectful.

Your wife sounds lovely. You could always just buy more chocolates!

FoodFann · 20/07/2023 21:21

Just let him have his wine. Pick your battles OP, this is really not a big deal

Delatron · 20/07/2023 21:28

So bizarre! Who cares about a measly (probably cheap) bottle of wine. If he was that bothered about it it wouldn’t have been knocking about for a year. This would have been a complete non issue in our house.
(And a bottle of wine wouldn’t last a year).

Delatron · 20/07/2023 21:29

C1N1C · 20/07/2023 16:07

My wife does this... we amass chocolates, etc, in our goodie cabinet that we eventually get to in the evenings. I'll come home to find one is missing because she needed a last-minute gift for a friend, which actually happens a lot as she's quite social.

She also has a habit of giving away anything she sets her eyes on while guests are here as a "thank you for coming" gift... and as it's in front of the guests, you can't exactly say "errr, no!"

So I absolutely get this. It's annoying and disrespectful.

No it’s not disrespectful. She’s a generous person, it’s a box of chocolates. Seriously?!

C1N1C · 20/07/2023 22:00

@Delatron
You're missing the point. I get gifting, and she is a great host, but it crosses over into just picking up random stuff in the house and handing it over without discussion. "DH has a lot of these... have some". This is where it crosses over from generosity to taking the piss. "My darling wife has lots of different shampoos and mascara... here, have some".

WandaWonder · 20/07/2023 22:08

GardeningIdiot · 20/07/2023 12:15

Just say "Fine. I'll leave the choice and wrapping of teacher's present to you."

A teachers gift is nice but not necessary, If I wanted to give a teacher a gift I would buy a present sure his behaviour seems childish but I would not have given the wine away

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 20/07/2023 22:27

The real question is, why has the wine been there since Feb? It would have been long gone by now in this house. He is unreasonable though.

Amispringy · 20/07/2023 22:35

YABU for the use of "hubby"

The wine though, YANBU

MaybeSmaller · 27/07/2023 19:49

Is everyone missing that they've had the wine since February 2022??? If he wanted it he'd have glugged it by now.

Some people prefer to age wine for a few years before they drink it.

(If it's good quality red wine that is! not a £6.99 bottle of Chardonnay from Aldi)

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