What do you do when the only person you want to talk to right now is dead?

[Greyhairedmare]

I really miss my mum, I don't know what to do with this feeling, it is almost unbearable.

Here for a hand hold.
What would you say to her?

Oh lovely, that is so hard.
Talk to her anyway. Imagine she’s listening and giving you a big hug xxx

No advice but, same (my dad though). It's hard. 💐

I'm so sorry. Would it help to talk to her anyway? Maybe light a candle? Look at a picture of her. I know it's not the same but it might help a little. What would your mum have said?

Hope some day it's possible to time travel and or parallel universe travel.

That said all the best op

Write a letter. I'm sorry about your mum, I lost my mum 6 years ago and occasionally still think oh I'll send her a message about....

I still talk to my parents and they have both been dead for quite a few years. I find it very comforting and sometimes I feel sure I had heard an answer

Massive hugs!
I talk to them as though they can hear me.
Usually at night before I go to sleep. And if I’m lucky they’ll come to me in my dreams.

Talk to her anyway.

Oh op, it’s so hard. Trust me, I do understand. How long is it since you lost your mum? Sending huge hugs. 💐

Oh how well I know this one. It’s awful when the person who’s comforted you all your life isn’t there when it hurts more than ever before. The pain when I lost my mum was unbearable. I talk to mine often in my head. Occasionally I hear her voice in my thoughts and it’s so lovely. The only thing that makes it better is time, you never get over the loss but you do get used to it. The pain softens. Be kind to yourself.

I need to hear her voice though, the forever-ness of this loss is unbearable.

My mum was only in her fifties and died of cancer. Part of me can't accept this as reality forever. Even though it is reality I'm not mad I do acknowledge it is real.

If it helps, OP, when my mum died I just stopped being able to remember my own age. Grief is a weird thing. I remained 35 for years cos that's where my brain stopped counting. Counselling helped massively.

The loss of being able to hear their voice is a big one. I inadvertantly found a video of DD with my mum laughing in the background and I sobbed for a good 10 minutes as it was so unexpected.

I talk to them still and I look for signs that they're out there somewhere protesting me.

Protecting ^

I text her old phone number, keep her up to date, tell her what I’m worrying about. It helps x

I'm so sorry @Greyhairedmare So young to die. When did she die?

@Greyhairedmare i'm so sorry hun xx
Sending you lots of strength to get through this pain ❤
Also, here to listen xx

So sorry for your loss op.

I lay down in bed and close my eyes, imagine I'm having a conversation with them, sometimes i struggle as a lot of time has passed but it brings me a little comfort.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I understand. I lost my mum when she was 51 from cancer too. That was 28 years ago but despite that, I still broke down this week because I desperately wanted to speak to her and hug her and her tell me that everything is going to be alright (I'm having a really shit time at the moment and no-one cares and I don't know if things will ever be alright again) Writing this makes me cry.

When I feel this way, I try to go to places where I feel closest to her. Places she loved. Where I can be alone. And I have a good cry about how unfair life is. And then I remind myself that this isn't what she would want for me and I need to pick myself up and carry on. Because that's what she would want me to do and if I won't do it for myself, I need to do it for her.

Sending you the biggest hugs

I'm so very sorry, it's hard .
My Mum died 23 years ago from cancer in her early 60s - I talk to her still .
Re hearing her voice do you have any dvd/video recording that you could play just to hear her speak ?

Good night boss 2021 x sorry you went.**

Thank you @PurpleButterflyWings coincidentally, my mum's favourite colour was purple. X

Im sorry op, the pain never really goes away you just learn to live with it a little better.
At times it’s worse, my sisters have both had babies and my Nan will never meet them, so we miss her all the more again.
I wish she was here to love me and give me advice and feed me nice food, teach me things, be hard on me when I need it, be proud of me and my baby as I’m sure she would be.
she’s still here because I think of her and miss her everyday and I live a life she would be proud of after seeing me through some times she wasn’t.
saying all that I was wish I had loved and taken care of her more when I had the chance.
I lost my dad young, I still dream about him and that I’m meeting him and he’s not really dead, for a while I really didn’t think he was and those thoughts still come even though I’ve been to his grave many times, I don’t know how he died and there are a lot of rumours and secrets which have not helped.
its hard, it gets easier x