Living next door to in-laws

[nowtherearethree]

My DH has seen a property in a large city which is absolutely beautiful only issue is that it is next door to his parents. I get on really well with them they are lovely and kind but my DH wonders if it will be too close for comfort. For information they are retired and he is there only son. We have three children so in some ways it will be useful to us as well. They are delighted at the prospect but DH is unsure. Is it too close to live?

I strongly encouraged MIL to buy the house next door to us when it came up for sale. It turned out to be a brilliant decision.

We saw her daily. So much easier to drop in for a coffee once a day than packing up to visit for a weekend every 6 weeks. The boys (7&5) adored having grandma next door and spent a lot of time with her, they had an amazing relationship. We were all on hand for each other if and when needed. She was more independent and less needy as she got older because we were just there. Aside from online stuff which I did, she paid for a cleaner and had meals delivered.

However, we had a brilliant relationship for nearly 30yrs prior to her moving next door. She was the kindest, loving, non interfering person. She never expected or demanded our time and was always happy to let the boys stay at hers. She never just came round to ours or assumed we were available 24/7.

We had honest conversations about what life would look like if she needed caring for. I was totally willing to provide any practical help, for her to be included in our family life but any personal care would not come from us - that would have been mortifying for her.

When she died aged 96 we had had 13yrs of happily living next door to each other and I can only say it was a great solution for all of us. It really can work and can make life less stressful than living miles away, especially when you have a young family. But it obviously depends on the type of relationship that you have in the first place. I loved my MIL, would I live next door to my own mother? Absolutely never in a million years.

I would if you discuss boundaries beforehand and as a rule they aren't generally interfering.

It would be lovely for your children.

This would be a dream come true for me. I love my in laws, they’re genuinely some of the nicest, kindest, most non interfering yet helpful people I could have in my life. I’d say if your in-laws can respect your boundaries and vice versa it would be fine.

This would be my worst nightmare!
For me it would be the lack of privacy. It depends whether you are joined and how thin your walls are.

Oh yes. I live up the road from my son and DiL (who I get on well with). We were here first!
We can't see each other from our houses and it works well as privacy is respected. But next door? No chance

I would consider it if I was you … I live next door to my parents and see them 2-3 times a week, usually only for half an hour or so.

Both us (my husband and I) and my parents agreed we didn’t want to be in each other’s pockets when we moved and we have stuck to that. If they are of the same mindset it could work out well.

My two young children love being close by to them and it is very handy for occasional babysitting at the weekend and for emergencies. Also if I’m stuck they offer to do the school run. I try very hard though not to put on them much regarding childcare. Also great when we go on holiday.