To wonder if being if I'm being to cruel and unfeeling to colleagues?

[LadyGodiva4]

I have 2 colleagues, one who is my direct report who suffer from depression/anxiety. They often take days off, including extended time off. I have huge sympathy for their situation, and don't blame them at all. But it means that I then have to shoulder the work that they can't do. With my direct report, she'll say that she's feeling overwhelmed with workload, and then take a day off - which inevitably means I have to cover her work.

This in turns makes me miserable - I'm not saying it's mental health, but it affect my mental wellbeing, and means I'm essentially covering 2 people's work quite a lot of the time. As part of 'reasonable adjustments', I take back some of my colleague's work when they're feeling anxious - but I feel that my own mental health is being totally disregarded. I've also had both colleague's (and some other junior members of the team) calling in sick several times over the last few months.

I'm probably being unreasonable, but I do wonder what the fair outcome is. I don't think it's fair that me and other colleagues constantly have to do more than there fair share - but also I don't think people with mental health struggles lose their job. If anyone has been in a similar situation, or can give advice, I'd live to hear it.

YANBU. I don't know what the solution is but I feel your pain. I do think that the worst thing a person can do for anxiety in particular is to indulge it - there's a lot to be said for carrying on and getting through it. As you say, the work still needs doing and it's those left standing who have to shoulder the burden.

YANBU, but as the PP said, I'm not sure what the solution would be.

It's really not fair that you now have to cover the work of your colleagues as well as your own. It's bound to take a toll as it would on anyone. The question is, what can be done about it?

Have you spoken with your manager and raised your concerns with them? Maybe they'll be able to divide the outstanding work more evenly between the team so that you don't have to carry it all by yourself?

As much as no one wants to admit it, when absences started to truly negatively impact the team and workloads, one has to ask if the employment is sustainable for the employee concerned. If they are regularly complaining of feeling overwhelmed and needing to take time off, sometimes for extended periods-there comes a time when any company has to draw a line in the sand and ask what is this person doing to manage their mental health?

Reasonable adjustments stop being reasonable when they place a heavy burden on other members of the team who are having to pick up the slack.

It's not about being cruel-because we can all acknowledge the impact mental health can have on people whilst still being honest about how their repeated absences/reasonable adjustments impact you and your own wellbeing at work.

Well, one way of dealing with it is to say that they aren’t capable of doing their jobs. Reasonable adjustments are fine but the clue is in the name: reasonable. It isn’t reasonable or feasible in the long term for you to have to carry their work, short term maybe but it’s not a permanent solution.

I say this as someone who has diagnosed clinical anxiety so I am not unsympathetic to their plight. But if they can’t cope with the job then this needs to be addressed. Do you have a HR department?

You need to start managing her out. She's having a direct negative affect on you and everyone else picking up her slack. She clearly can't cope with working in your organisation, so she needs to find a job somewhere else that she can do.

It's time to talk to HR. I wouldn't couch it in terms of your own mental wellbeing- but I totally get what you mean - more as "whilst you absolutely want to support X in the workplace, their frequent absences with short notice are causing unsustainable workload for the rest of the team, and how should you handle going forward?"

I'm the head of the team and I consider it part of my job to pick up the slack when my reports can't do it, for whatever reason. It's why I'm paid a lot more than them.

But if I'm consisently having to take up slack from one particular person, either they're underperforming and need to go on performance management, or they're overloaded and we need to get another person in the team. If this team member didn't take the random days off, would they be able to complete all the work?

Have you raised it with your manager? You can’t take on all the extra work that’s not fair. Raise it and ask for suggestions on how to manage this situation.

This I'm afraid is down to poor management.

Either

• workload is too high and you need to work with her to reduce it.
• she's not efficient enough and you need to manage that
• she's not well enough to be effective in the job and you need to manage that through the sickness absence policy.

You can be compassionate and empathetic through the process but letting it stay as it is doesn't help anyone.

As a wise MNetter once said, you can't set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm.

This

It's a difficult situation, because we're a small org with only on 'HR' person. I feel really concerned re managing her out, as I do feel for her, also the culture of the company is very focused on inclusivity. It's also not just her - I also have a colleague in a similar situation, and workload is high overall. My manager is sympathetic, but ultimately they are not affected, so it's hard to impress the issue clearly.

Well then you, OP, are being mugged off. The organisation is presenting itself as kind, inclusive and caring at your personal expense.

Very difficult situation. Personally I would start looking for another job.

I think you’re not unreasonable to be annoyed.

If someone’s depression, stress or anxiety is coming from an external factor that will pass such as grief, a health scare, the recent betrayal of a partner etc. then it’s all good for colleagues to come together and help them through (I would add that it would be fair for employers to offer time in lieu when resources later allow).

If the job itself is the source of the issues then you are not suitable for the job (or possibly the job itself sucks and is best avoided - e.g. totally unreasonable workload, unreasonable management and so on).

If you have long term mental health issues not caused by the job then that’s where societal structures should be in place to assist rather than the burden falling on employers and often pushed onto individuals picking up work as unpaid overtime.

Could you make a case that you need another person in the team? Start logging the hours you do on extra work or work that someone more junior should be doing, and you'll be able to demonstrate that more resource is needed.

I think that will have to be the answer... but it's a tough argument to make in a small company. But it's probably the most sensible course of action, so thank you.

In your situation, my first question to my manager would be "Jane is absent and has tasks 1-5 that need doing. Which of these would you like me to prioritise and which areas of my workload (tasks 6-10) would you like me to drop to get Jane's tasks done".

I'd probably also do that in an email if need be so there's a paper trail that the current situation isn't working. Either the workload needs to change, or the absence needs to be managed appropriately.

It's easy for a company to claim to be inclusive, but they're not being inclusive if they're burning other colleagues out.

If they’re overwhelmed could a job share be a suggestion so they are not expected to do as much of the work but the work still gets done…

There's no easy answers, but you matter too OP. It's not ok for you to be working 1.5+ jobs a week rather than the 1 you're paid for. I think if this is turning to long time higher management/HR needs to have a discussion with them around what workload they can reasonably manage and based on that moving to a different part time or job share, then getting another part timer in so all the full time hours they would have been doing are covered. I'd prefer an offer of part time to being under productivity management then potentially managed out. If you're not already you do need to start creating a paper trail as evidence of their and your workloads. This is all provided this has been going on for a while not just a month or two. Stbxh has had this situation and found a new job because the issues were never going to change. That would be another option.

Lovely how everyone assumes that this person is taking the piss and that she needs managing out.

Or, the business needs to recruit more staff.

Reasonable adjustments for a mental health condition and her taking sick days putting pressure on the rest of the team really isn't this person's problem. If the op is struggling then she needs to tell her manager that, and make it their problem. In the meantime you can only do what you can do.

I'll be flamed for this, but if people can't handle a job, they should leave and find another more suitable. Otherwise it's just unfair on everyone else.
YANBU.

I don’t see anyone saying the other person is talking the piss. Just trying to come up with suggestions for the OP. It’s obvious there is no slack in the system and the extra work is affecting the OP. Even if it’s 1-2 hours a week, that might be her lunchtime break she has to go without. Her well-being matters too.

What would happen if you stopped doing her share of the work?

This is a brilliant reply. Much better than a suggestion to try and recruit someone else.

I was in a bit of a similar position once where my workload ended up being totally unreasonable because of 2 crap managers on the trot. One was absent most of the time and the other just never understood the job. Sadly my only solution was to find another job.

This in turns makes me miserable - I'm not saying it's mental health, but it affect my mental wellbeing, and means I'm essentially covering 2 people's work quite a lot of the time. As part of 'reasonable adjustments', I take back some of my colleague's work when they're feeling anxious - but I feel that my own mental health is being totally disregarded. I've also had both colleague's (and some other junior members of the team) calling in sick several times over the last few months.

YANBU @LadyGodiva4

Both your colleagues sound in denial about trying to manage their health conditions. It is not fair that your health suffers. I have been in a similar situation - colleagues in denial about the impact their illness has on others, and expecting the work-horses to shoulder extra load.

You're going to have to seek help to stop this situation. It isn't cruel or unfeeling if you do it properly.

You probably need to try a few strategies: regular monitoring of their productivity, for example, and discussions with them about their level of sick leave. Is their lack of productivity damaging the business?

Also , do you report to a manager ? They should be helping you with apportioning workload appropriately.

Are either of your colleagues so ill as to require 'reasonable adjustments'? It might be that they are not capable of a full-time workload, so part-time work might be more appropriate. Of course, there's an issue there that it's also a part-time salary!

Are there other less drastic reasonable adjustments, such as staggered starts? or flexible working? Some people with a depressive illness find starting early difficult and might be better working 10am to 6pm, or something like that, if it's possible.

"Flexitime" working can be done with proper time keeping over, say, a fortnightly time period - when your colleague/s are feeling OK, they put in longer hours, and then when they are unwell, they can take an afternoon out, or whatever.

Good luck! You'll have people telling you you're being discriminatory, but businesses have to be managed and the whole workload falling on you is also unacceptable.