To wonder if being if I'm being to cruel and unfeeling to colleagues?

[LadyGodiva4]

I have 2 colleagues, one who is my direct report who suffer from depression/anxiety. They often take days off, including extended time off. I have huge sympathy for their situation, and don't blame them at all. But it means that I then have to shoulder the work that they can't do. With my direct report, she'll say that she's feeling overwhelmed with workload, and then take a day off - which inevitably means I have to cover her work.

This in turns makes me miserable - I'm not saying it's mental health, but it affect my mental wellbeing, and means I'm essentially covering 2 people's work quite a lot of the time. As part of 'reasonable adjustments', I take back some of my colleague's work when they're feeling anxious - but I feel that my own mental health is being totally disregarded. I've also had both colleague's (and some other junior members of the team) calling in sick several times over the last few months.

I'm probably being unreasonable, but I do wonder what the fair outcome is. I don't think it's fair that me and other colleagues constantly have to do more than there fair share - but also I don't think people with mental health struggles lose their job. If anyone has been in a similar situation, or can give advice, I'd live to hear it.

This, HR needs to be involved. I had a similar issue and it was a nightmare to negotiate but HR were very supportive to both of us. In the end they realised that it wasnt working for them.

I agree with others, sometimes to accommodate adjustments it’s necessary to increase the staff numbers - if that’s not affordable then the adjustments may not be reasonable

You clearly need an extra member of staff (possibly part-time) so maybe they don't get overwhelmed and you also have cover.

However, how much time off does your company allow before Occupational Health needs to be involved? They can't just keep dumping on you!

I have diagnosed anxiety and have had depression in the past, I’m all for supporting people going through a hard time (I’ve had time off in the past and temporary adjustments made to my role), but this shouldn’t go on indefinitely, if it does then the job clearly isn’t for them.

I’ve had a couple of jobs that were damaging my mental health that I couldn’t cope with and I left. This might be controversial, but you can’t expect everyone to cater to you and what you can handle, you were hired to do a job and you need to realise when you’re not able to and find something more suitable, rather than expecting everyone else to pick up your slack and jump through hoops to make your life easier. Temporarily it’s fine, we all need some help and support sometimes, but long term it’s not reasonable.

The disclaimer obviously being that sometimes it’s the employer having unreasonable expectations that causes staff to be unable to cope in their roles, so that should be looked at first.

Would you say the same to someone having treatment for cancer and having to take lots of time off between treatments?

Op, have you been managing their sickness inline with your absence policy? Have they been referred to OH? Are they actively seeking help from their GP? Is the workload too high, or is it that their MH makes it too much for them, when others would be fine?

You need to involve HR and actively manage the situation.

I worked somewhere that had one of my employees off sick all the time for 5 years and they had never been managed. When I started and looked at their sickness history, one year they'd had 125 days off sick due to anxiety and depression. Nothing had been flagged!! It took me nearly 2 years of meetings, adjustments etc etc and HR finally had a stage 3 meeting about their sickness. The outcome was that they were not disciplined and I was told to continue supporting them indefinitely. That they would always struggle with their mental health and basically I just had to get on with it. My MH had suffered massively as I was always having to do their work too.

So I left. Not having to deal with chronic sickness constantly, no anxiety about will they be calling in sick today so all my plans have to change last minute, was such a relief.

I will say though, that this person wasn't a nice person, and they would tell all their colleagues there was nothing management could do, as they were depressed and we just had to let them have time off whenever they wanted etc etc. So it was quite a contentious environment.

Your attitude is why so many people with disabilities and life limiting illness are unable to work at all. Then you complain about the cost of disability benefits and accuse them of shirking.

YANBU. Whilst I think it's great there is more mental health awareness, I also think some people take the piss and I say this as someone who has suffered severe mental health problems since childhood. I've had a couple of colleagues WFH for months because of anxiety whilst we all had to do more work in the office.

With my direct report, she'll say that she's feeling overwhelmed with workload, and then take a day off - which inevitably means I have to cover her work.

Elsewhere you say that workload is high overall but is it unreasonably high? Or just busy?

Are you working paid or unpaid overtime to get this done, or is other stuff being neglected?

I'd say to management thus far you've done X extra hours roughly when she's off but it isn't sustainable for your own wellbeing. If they offer overtime, ask for agency staff. Even if it's just admin who takes load off the team so the team can pick up more work.
Make it clear that from Monday you simply cannot keep working 60 hour weeks

Totally this. In your case, the reasonable adjustments are far from reasonable!

It's so widespread though isn't it. I had a colleague who retired earlier this year thankfully but for years before this she was off for what seemed like every other week with depression/ anxiety etc and everyone else would have to pick up her work which put them under more stress leading to mh problems for them. MH issues are so widespread now that there are no easy solutions.

It is, it’s rife in the NHS where I work because it’s so hard to sack anyone, I worked with a woman who told me she had a meeting about her sickness levels and our manager told her in the 7 years she’s been there she’s actually been off more than she’s ever been in work, outcome of the meeting was “she needs more support”.

People know how to game the system as well, coming back to work when their sick pay is about to run out then going off again later, just continually repeating this cycle and there’s not a lot managers can do. Every department I’ve worked in has at least one member of staff like this.

With my direct report, she'll say that she's feeling overwhelmed with workload, and then take a day off - which inevitably means I have to cover her work.

Maybe if she didn't have so much time off she wouldn't be overwhelmed with her workload and be up to date with it.

Maybe suggest as a reasonable tryout, she does a whole week and gets up to date then keeps on top of it.

if she can't then the job isn't really for her, is it.

I don't think it's on.

I'm self employed with MH issues but I don't actually have the luxury of checking out of work as if I do that my income for the month plummets, so I basically have had to put in place some techniques to get myself through the day when things are bad. And weirdly enough, bad days where I've actually had to plough through with my work regardless, I end up feeling better by the evening

You need to take this up with your own manager. And maybe start taking some sick leave yourself.

"Then you complain about the cost of disability benefits and accuse them of shirking."

You have literally just added that!

Some might, but this poster doesn't even imply it.

The responses on here I have found surprising.
Assuming the staff members workload is reasonable, and she is having lots of absence- there is a limit on what a reasonable adjustment would be expected.
people are suggesting taking on another member of staff but assuming 0.5FTE to help the department on minimum wage and with on costs you are looking at £12k for most small businesses at the moment, that would be unaffordable and therefore not reasonable.
I run a small charity- if say I had someone doing a job who left, took someone else on who could not do the same job and same workload without going off sick- there is no way we could then pick it up by taking on another member of staff as well.
As much as we are a good, fair and ethical employer it just wouldn’t be feasible to do so. The difference would be if someone had cancer, for example, there will be an end point to that situation, if someone has a badly broken leg and was waiting for an op or recovery, there would be an end point. For this person it could go on each year indefinitely. Surely if the person’s stress is exacerbated by the work they do (in my example a proven workload) then the solution for the employee or the employer isn’t that they remain in that job.
Of course, I’d make reasonable adjustments if I could, for example look into software that may automise some of their tasks for example- or helping them prioritise tasks better, would a compressed week or dropping their hours help for example. But just to take on an extra person wouldn’t be feasible and I don’t think would, for a small business be considered by an employment tribunal to be reasonable.

As a first point of call I think there needs to be a thorough review into the individual’s workload to determine if it’s reasonable- sometimes these can inadvertently creep up with the passage of time.
ongoing and documented RTWs following any absence and asking the person what might help their work stress and therefore their attendance. They may have some suggestions you hadn’t thought about- moving some deadlines for example to spread them out through the month, an efficiency that could be made etc.

You need to start setting boundaries and letting her work go undone. Only when managers feel the pain will they take action otherwise they're very happy for you to keep doing 2 peoples jobs.

I agree with this. And I know people handle things differently but for me when I am feeling anxious/depressed being at home knowing other people are doing my work would make me feel even worse.

Sounds like a management issue

What I keep wondering (and I understand why @LadyGodiva4 maybe can't say) is:

Do these colleagues (either/both) have medical certification of a chronic illness? or are they just self-diagnosing?

Do they declare these illnesses as disabilities, and have they requested 'reasonable adjustments" to enable them to keep working?

Because the actions @LadyGodiva4 will need to take will be different depending on the status of these colleagues' health in "official" terms.

Until a colleague has the appropriate medical certification and occupational health report about what his/her capacities are, all the OP can do is treat the absences like ordinary sick days, and it sounds as though she needs to start monitoring the level of sick leave they take.

If they are not prepared to engage with a process centred around the application of the disabilities legislation, and a negotiation of what are 'reasonable adjustments' - for both employee and business, with appropriate and official medical advice, then these employees seem like they are skiving. They may not be, but until they engage properly with the process, they appear to be.

An, as PPs have suggested, the OP needs to STOP doing the work they don't do, so she & her manager/s can really see the damage being done by doing nothing.