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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

more a wwyd - cutting holiday short

209 replies

Auntieobem · 19/07/2023 08:22

Am on week long stay in rented house, with elderly mum, dp, dB and nephew and my 2 daughters. Last night was our second night here - first was uneventful. So, kitchen at back with big windows/ doors to garden which leads to public path and beach. Around midnight there's a very bright strobe light shone through kitchen. DB goes outside- its a group of kids. So we try to ignore. Goes on for about 20 minutes. Then there's knocking at front door - noone there. Light appears again and then we hear what we think are stones being thrown at back. Front door then gets kicked and windows knocked on. By now my youngest is terrified, as is my mum. DP and DB follow the kids at front and get abuse shouted at them. DP and DB stay at front door until after 1.30, when it all goes quiet.

We didn't call police, very rural here and assumed that by time they'd arrive it would be over, and that police would escalate

I messaged house owner last night to say we'd be leaving today. We don't feel safe.

This was first time I've spent time with DB and DM in years. So disappointed.

Would you leave? We spent over £1500 on house. What refund (if any?) would you expect?

OP posts:
Dulra · 19/07/2023 09:15

Moveoverdarlin · 19/07/2023 09:12

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. I would be phoning / emailing the owner all day until you get a response. Jesus this is a holiday and you’ve got people throwing stones and kicking the door! Fuck that.

Really unsure what you expect the home owner to do? Bar contacting the police (which the op needs to do they are the first hand witnesses not the home owner) and parade up and down outside tonight to frighten them off 🤔
As I said before let home owner know they may well have another property they can offer you or a way of making the current property more secure, lock on the gate or something

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 19/07/2023 09:16

Auntieobem · 19/07/2023 09:04

Those of you who say we were wrong not to call the police- what would you expect the police response to be?

Come out and check the area, see if any of the kids were known for causing trouble - and calling them out would also give you a reference number in case you had further problems or wanted to claim for a refund.

BlackFlyChardonnay · 19/07/2023 09:16

I'd stay another night. Might have been a one off.

I would definitely report to non emergency number this morning. Then, if they did come back tonight, call straight away. You'd be surprised how the police response in rural areas can be a lot quicker than in suburbia.

I get that this would've seemed scary at night, but it was just kids mucking around. Really no need to cut your holiday short.

farmerswife7 · 19/07/2023 09:16

Sounds awful, especially for your poor mum.

I don't think I would leave. I would stay tonight anyway. I would also as others have suggested phone the police to get advice. They might be aware of anti social behaviour in the area. Also wait and see what the home owner thinks.

You said the police would be hours, how rural are you? Where is the closest station?

Intriguedbythis · 19/07/2023 09:16

I wouldn’t leave. I would imagine it’s a one off, inform owner and call police if it happens again. I imagine it was a bunch of teens playing pranks.

ilovesooty · 19/07/2023 09:17

DogInATent · 19/07/2023 09:11

Leaving early isn't an issue.

The problem you're going to have in getting a refund is that you have neither contacted the owner nor the police. You may have video of flashing lights and damage to a door. But in the cold light of day these aren't going to add up to much. Your mother's previous experiences aren't relevant to the situation. The one thing that could strengthen you position for a refund, you refuse to do. As a PP has already said, speaking to the police as a non-urgent non-emergency matter might let you know if this is a particular problem in the area.

As things stand, you're leaving early for your own reasons and those reasons for that are nothing to do with the owner therefore a refund isn't relevant.

She has contacted the owner.

billy1966 · 19/07/2023 09:18

Moveoverdarlin · 19/07/2023 09:12

I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. I would be phoning / emailing the owner all day until you get a response. Jesus this is a holiday and you’ve got people throwing stones and kicking the door! Fuck that.

I definitely would be reporting this to the police and the owner.

Hopefully it was a one off.

Very upsetting.

Grandana · 19/07/2023 09:19

Auntieobem · 19/07/2023 09:04

Those of you who say we were wrong not to call the police- what would you expect the police response to be?

They might have come out. It's bread and butter for them dispersing a group of rowdy kids. Often they know them and it's done with people skills, it's not all flak jackets and batons. I think that would be much less scary for your children than an open ended stand off with their dads guarding the door.

Easy to be wise after the event though. I imagine it's much like deciding to take your own child to A&E - it might seem obvious to outsiders but in the moment it's harder to judge.

Hadjab · 19/07/2023 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Someone woke up on the wrong side of the planet today, eh? OP is stating that her mum won't want to stay because of her anxiety - how is that entitled?

Hateitissues · 19/07/2023 09:21

Absolutely no refund entitlement

on paper at least - it looks like you were very worried but not quite so worried to call the police

did any of the reviews mention this kind of event?

TheModHatter · 19/07/2023 09:22

OP, it sounds a really horrible experience.

I understand it had frightened your Mum.

However I simply can’t understand your logic about calling the police. How would it take ‘hours’? Not instant response, maybe, but they may have found these vandals on their way back. How did they get there? They may know who it probably was. They may have agreed to patrols for the rest of the week or to put your address on high alert.

If I was the owner I wouldn’t see myself as liable for a one off outburst of ASBO behaviour from local teens, especially as you didn’t call the police.

But in any case I am sorry you had such a horrible experience.

Museya15 · 19/07/2023 09:22

What did the owners say? Is it a house that sits on its own in the country?

MoroccanRoseHChurch · 19/07/2023 09:25

I’d leave too OP. I’d your poor DM won’t be able to enjoy it and your DCs are scared, I’d be quickly googling some alternatives or some fun activities to do back at home.

Cantdoitallperfectly · 19/07/2023 09:27

I wouldn’t leave but I’d report to police this morning and speak with the owner.

crumpet · 19/07/2023 09:27

by calling the poultice you would have provided useful information to them about the anti social behaviour for their records.

i appreciate you might not have wanted to call them in front of the children, but there must have been a separate room from which they could have been called?

in any case you could report it now.

whether or not you choose to stay will depend on how much you can enjoy the rest of the time.

crumpet · 19/07/2023 09:27

Police. Doesn’t sound like you needed a poultice!

Fupoffyagrasshole · 19/07/2023 09:28

you should have called the police - especially after the door being kicked!

i live in London near a very busy high road - we have had groups of teens hop our fence and hang out in our bloody back garden a few times - had them hang out on my front steps so im afraid to leave the house with my toddler - I always call the police and they always come and move them along - it scares them and makes it less likely they will return to that place next time

Flipin · 19/07/2023 09:29

You should phone the police so you aren't liable for the door damage!

CollagenQueen · 19/07/2023 09:30

I'd call the Police because then you'll get a crime number which you can use to claim against your holiday insurance, or maybe if the owner gives you a refund, he can claim against his insurance.

Thunderisntnicebythebeach · 19/07/2023 09:30

Throwing stones and kicking the door... Hardly rampaging with an AK47 behaviour.. You must have had a sheltered life op.

Tessabelle74 · 19/07/2023 09:32

I'm not sure why you think you'd get a refund for something completely out of the home owners control? I certainly wouldn't be leaving today, who's to say it will happen again tonight?

DinoSaw · 19/07/2023 09:32

We live rurally and pretty far from the police station. We have needed to call the police out at night - lots of rural burglaries locally at the moment. They generally have a car in the area covering all the local little villages and farms. Depending on where exactly they are and what else is happening they can arrive in 2-30 minutes after a call.

Generally speaking police aren’t sitting around the office waiting for a call. They’re strategically placed along the motorway, or doing rounds of rural areas or in the town centre so they can be easily dispatched to cover as much of the patch as possible.

ManateeFair · 19/07/2023 09:32

I would call the police and I would tell the owner, but I wouldn't leave over a bunch of kids throwing stones. I'd be annoyed and I might be a bit twitchy afterwards, but I wouldn't end my holiday over it as I think it's a low-level incident really. But of course everyone feels differently about these things and if you didn't feel able to stay then that's understandable.

If I did, I wouldn't expect any kind of refund because it's not the owner's fault that either some kids were a nuisance or that I didn't feel I could carry on my holiday as a result of that.

EscapeTheCastle · 19/07/2023 09:33

Thunderisntnicebythebeach · 19/07/2023 09:30

Throwing stones and kicking the door... Hardly rampaging with an AK47 behaviour.. You must have had a sheltered life op.

Going by your user name, I name you as the culprit.

Kyokyo · 19/07/2023 09:36

Going to go against the grain here and say that I would 100% leave and request a full refund. You are supposed to be on holiday and last thing you want is harassment at night from kids and/or constantly worrying about whether they are going to turn up the next night to do it again.

Calling the police would be futile, because if they are knocking on your door then running away, but the time the police come, they'd be gone ? Unless the police are intending on camping out in front of the property all evening, there's no stopping the kids from returning whenever they want.

It must have been very scary for your elderly mum and children having people kicking and banging on the doors. I wouldn't want to put them through that again.

Even if you stay another night and it doesn't happen again, you'll be spending the rest of the week wondering if tonight is the night they'll come back