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Original poster

To ruin someone's livelihood?

62 replies

sextherapy · 18/07/2023 22:50

I am a manager and have a taken on a new team member part time.

They have reduced their hours in another job in order to free up time for this one and it's meant them making some major changes to their life.

It's come to light that they may not be able to obtain the references required to trade - I have the power to potentially overturn the decision BUT, I am starting to doubt if the person will actually be capable enough,

They are amazing in so many ways and it's very early days but I am not convinced. Do I take a huge risk and help them or leave it if my gut is saying if they do become capable it's going to take so much help and support and even then I'm not convinced?

If they did get good however their attitude would mean a team member for life that is loyal.

Wwyd?

OP posts:
MakeItRain · 18/07/2023 23:08

Are you able to use the fact they don't have references to build in a specific probationary period, during which they must achieve xyz. Then if they didn't manage it you could let them go?

Hankunamatata · 18/07/2023 23:09

Surely the references are vital part of job before someone starts?

Original poster
sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:14

No jobs can be pending references.

It's the fact that I KNOW it's going to take so much effort to get them up and running - if not they will not be diligent so it's essential (even for experienced staff but this person needs way way more I can tell)

They're also one of the nicest people I've come across which I know shouldn't be part of it but it's making me feel awful

OP posts:
Findyourneutralspace · 18/07/2023 23:16

Is it that they will need ‘reasonable adjustments’? Or something else?

Tiredjoanna · 18/07/2023 23:22

Feel for you, it's awful turning down someone nice but you need to ask yourself if all your extra effort is going to pay off? If yes then go for it, if not then sorry but it's not your fault. Hope you work it out

Original poster
sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:29

@Tiredjoanna it's truly awful, it COULD pay off but I really don't feel that this person is definitely got what it takes. That's the issue - if there was no doubt in my mind how great they'd be I'd go for it. They could be great hit I'm not as sure about them as I've been others (purely capability. They definitely have the right attitude)

OP posts:
Original poster
sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:29

@Findyourneutralspace it's nothing to do with capabilities in terms of disability - they're capable in that sense it's purely intellect, grasping the role

OP posts:
Tiredjoanna · 18/07/2023 23:31

Sounds like you know what you've got to do. Sorry 😔

Dacadactyl · 18/07/2023 23:33

If I really liked them then I'd probably keep them on tbh.

There are so many odd bods around these days that if I'd found someone sound who I got on with, I wouldn't be able to put a price on it.

Hawkins0001 · 18/07/2023 23:33

sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:29

@Tiredjoanna it's truly awful, it COULD pay off but I really don't feel that this person is definitely got what it takes. That's the issue - if there was no doubt in my mind how great they'd be I'd go for it. They could be great hit I'm not as sure about them as I've been others (purely capability. They definitely have the right attitude)

Better to give them a try and they may fail, and you potentially gain a great asset.

joyfulten · 18/07/2023 23:34

Depends if you are willing to take a chance on them I guess. You’d have to use your judgement and experience. Hard to say without us knowing them.

Original poster
sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:35

@Dacadactyl really? This is what I've thought about too, BUT I also am fed up with fighting for people in various ways to have it throw back in my face (I go about of my way for team memebers in many ways and often I kick myself thinking I should have cut my losses.

It's the not knowing how this will pan out that's killing me it's a risk

OP posts:
Hawkins0001 · 18/07/2023 23:36

sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:35

@Dacadactyl really? This is what I've thought about too, BUT I also am fed up with fighting for people in various ways to have it throw back in my face (I go about of my way for team memebers in many ways and often I kick myself thinking I should have cut my losses.

It's the not knowing how this will pan out that's killing me it's a risk

But that's the thing, I can understand your perspectives, but if you become a cynic then eventually you will miss the gold ones just because of previous bad experiences

Hawkins0001 · 18/07/2023 23:37

On the flip side say the deal goes bad, why is that any different than previous ones apart from you took the gambit ?

Original poster
sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:39

@Hawkins0001 it's so true but it's happened now five times in a row to me 🤦‍♀️

I have literally taken on five people and only one of the five is turning out to be great ( yes I'm starting to question my recruitment too lol) but we are where we are

It's not all me it's a mixture of I'll health/leaving/not being cut out for it etc

Yes I feel defeated but I have to try and fix it and with this in mind worries about messing up again

OP posts:
Original poster
sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:40

@Hawkins0001 time = a lot of money that's once again lost. We are a business and it sounds harsh but can't keep wasting funds like this.

Training is time and it's because they'll need a lot of it is the issue.

Also, challenging references does mean going to higher forces and if that keeps happening ruins reputation with them

OP posts:
Hawkins0001 · 18/07/2023 23:41

sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:39

@Hawkins0001 it's so true but it's happened now five times in a row to me 🤦‍♀️

I have literally taken on five people and only one of the five is turning out to be great ( yes I'm starting to question my recruitment too lol) but we are where we are

It's not all me it's a mixture of I'll health/leaving/not being cut out for it etc

Yes I feel defeated but I have to try and fix it and with this in mind worries about messing up again

A potential gold star is better than a certain no gold star.

Sometimes defeat and rinse and repeat.
You have to keep trying and keep hoping that maybe next time etc.

OrwellianTimes · 18/07/2023 23:45

Better an amazing person who needs upskilling than a dire person with all the skills imo.

Give the. The chance but do performance reviews during their probationary period. I think you can extend probationary period if performance isn’t quite good enough and you give feedback and opportunity to improve.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 19/07/2023 00:50

sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:39

@Hawkins0001 it's so true but it's happened now five times in a row to me 🤦‍♀️

I have literally taken on five people and only one of the five is turning out to be great ( yes I'm starting to question my recruitment too lol) but we are where we are

It's not all me it's a mixture of I'll health/leaving/not being cut out for it etc

Yes I feel defeated but I have to try and fix it and with this in mind worries about messing up again

Ok this isn’t great. Yes there can definitely be situations where it looks bad but under the surface it’s not. But 5 bad hires in a row is concerning.

I think you might need to back up from this. You sound like you’re panic hiring. Don’t do this. If you don’t feel right at this point then it’s unlikely to get better.

My advice… don’t override the basic qualifications

42wordsfordrizzle · 19/07/2023 01:09

Sounds like you're being overly influenced by liking this person - their capability to do the job is what matters most, and you're not convinced and they haven't started yet!

If the required paperwork hasn't come through when expected, might it show that while they're charming, they might be a bit of a chancer too?

ThinWomansBrain · 19/07/2023 01:17

Have a chat with them about your concerns, how do they feel it's going?
It may be they know they're struggling and if they back out now they could resume their previous hours in the other role.

ikno · 19/07/2023 01:34

I’m a manager too, HR hired someone who cannot do the job with no easy route to dismiss them. They applied for this job with full description of the job responsibilities but are pushing back against reasonable duties they are being compensated accordingly for. Like your employee, they’re a nice person but I know they will cause resourcing issues for the wider team due to the nature of the role as they don’t have the technical/specialist skills. So if I could easily dismiss based on references, I would.

FloofCloud · 19/07/2023 06:15

So you've already employed someone, they've been offered something from you and left their other role. You've not trained them up yet, and you're latterly having a hunch that they may not be able to do the job?
Firstly, you owe them training, you've made a promise by offering them a job. They've kept their side, you can't just say 'sorry, I've not bothered to train you yet, but don't want to risk it in case you turn out like the other 5.
Personally I think it looks bad on you. If you're their manager then you take someone on their credits, if it doesn't work out, that's another issue, but to change your mind and not even bother, that's dreadful.
Perhaps reflect a bit on yourself here, and don't just throw people with lives, mortgages and responsibilities out with the trash without a care on a bunch and a can't be arsed to train just in case they're bad attitude

WhereTheSuburbsMeetUttoxeter · 19/07/2023 06:23

What do you mean by trade? That got me thinking of stock markets, then I saw your username!

Are you training someone unqualified to be a sex therapist?

It's early, my mind is boggled!

LuckOfTheDrawer · 19/07/2023 07:42

sextherapy · 18/07/2023 23:40

@Hawkins0001 time = a lot of money that's once again lost. We are a business and it sounds harsh but can't keep wasting funds like this.

Training is time and it's because they'll need a lot of it is the issue.

Also, challenging references does mean going to higher forces and if that keeps happening ruins reputation with them

What does the challenging references paragraph actually mean?