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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ruin someone's livelihood?

62 replies

sextherapy · 18/07/2023 22:50

I am a manager and have a taken on a new team member part time.

They have reduced their hours in another job in order to free up time for this one and it's meant them making some major changes to their life.

It's come to light that they may not be able to obtain the references required to trade - I have the power to potentially overturn the decision BUT, I am starting to doubt if the person will actually be capable enough,

They are amazing in so many ways and it's very early days but I am not convinced. Do I take a huge risk and help them or leave it if my gut is saying if they do become capable it's going to take so much help and support and even then I'm not convinced?

If they did get good however their attitude would mean a team member for life that is loyal.

Wwyd?

OP posts:
ImNotReallySpartacus · 19/07/2023 15:02

Why would you be ruining anyone's livelihood? Presumably there are other jobs this person could apply for?

drpet49 · 19/07/2023 16:48

weightymatters73 · 19/07/2023 10:26

I'm an employer...

If you are seeing issues now I can guarantee they will only get worse in time. Perfect seeming employees also can have issues but less so.

It is a very red flag they cannot supply references...no, you should not stick your neck out.

This. It will reflect very badly on you.

hot2trotter · 19/07/2023 20:30

Sounds like you've made your mind up so I can't see the point of this thread

Original poster
sextherapy · 19/07/2023 22:06

I've decided to stick my neck out. The person is very grateful.

Though it's a few weeks until we get a decision. I'll keep you posted.

OP posts:
LittleBear21 · 19/07/2023 22:24

I think you've done the right thing OP. Good luck to you both

Hawkins0001 · 19/07/2023 22:50

sextherapy · 19/07/2023 22:06

I've decided to stick my neck out. The person is very grateful.

Though it's a few weeks until we get a decision. I'll keep you posted.

All the best and positivity, hopefully it goes well.

Whattheactualwhatnow · 19/07/2023 23:11

Hawkins0001 · 18/07/2023 23:33

Better to give them a try and they may fail, and you potentially gain a great asset.

Show quote history

Agree you should give them a chance. Every employee you take on you are taking a chance on. If this pays off, brilliant. If not, they certainly will not be the first or last mediocre employee, and at least you like them and they are a good person. Worth the risk

SamanthaCaine · 19/07/2023 23:26

sextherapy · 19/07/2023 22:06

I've decided to stick my neck out. The person is very grateful.

Though it's a few weeks until we get a decision. I'll keep you posted.

Sorry for being so hard on you earlier but am glad to hear you've made the human choice.

I hope it works out!

Lbet · 20/07/2023 07:24

I would do her a favour and let her go. If you are already thinking she's not capable and you as a manager don't want to spend the time and effort on training a member of your staff what chance has she got anyway in progressing.

HulaChick · 20/07/2023 07:33

Please give them a chance. Sounds as though they'd be loyal & willing to learn & not likely to leave for a,long time if they're prepared & willing to make such big changes to their life in order to take the job. This could be the making of them. Also, so much nicer to have a nice person in a team, rather than someone who is only out for themselves. Could be the best investment you've ever made. Plus, ofcourse, surely you have the probation period to see how things are working? I say give them a chance!!

Dovetail40 · 20/07/2023 07:38

sextherapy · 18/07/2023 22:50

I am a manager and have a taken on a new team member part time.

They have reduced their hours in another job in order to free up time for this one and it's meant them making some major changes to their life.

It's come to light that they may not be able to obtain the references required to trade - I have the power to potentially overturn the decision BUT, I am starting to doubt if the person will actually be capable enough,

They are amazing in so many ways and it's very early days but I am not convinced. Do I take a huge risk and help them or leave it if my gut is saying if they do become capable it's going to take so much help and support and even then I'm not convinced?

If they did get good however their attitude would mean a team member for life that is loyal.

Wwyd?

Give them.a chance.
Life is too short.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 20/07/2023 08:15

Can you extend their probation period, this way you can assess if they've got what is needed to do the job, gives you a bit more time to assess their suitability for the role

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