Tone deaf nursery gifts

[grassverge]

A mum at our nursery arranged a collection for the 10 staff members. She collected £400. All of the workers are on Minimum wage. She spent the money on gift vouchers to a local restaurant that charges £9 for a starter and £20 for a main. Considering the cost of living, am I wrong to be cross about this? She should have just given them £40 each.

The vouchers will pay for two main courses if need be. The cost is a drink each of money is that tight.

How practical.

As someone who works in a nursery and has received this gift before, we love it. You can only have so many mugs and we’re not broke. We can afford to top up! I’d think it was a bit weird if someone gave cash as a gift!

Maybe the restaurant does take out? Lots still do after lockdown.

I would like this gift and I am pretty broke all the time as a single mum with a whopping mortgage - group of colleagues or just one. Or suggest to a friend.

Oh and please don't bake. Most home baked goods get thrown. Thinks about the fingernails of the kid who made her eat a brownie

Why didn’t you arrange the collection then if you were so opinionated on the gift?

I really don’t see how it’s tone deaf, the voucher would cover two mains. It’s not like giving them a fiver off.
Not everyone wants a gift to just be for the basics. It’s a big patronising to assume they don’t ever eat out and would all prefer cash to stock up on tins of beans.

Ergh I’d hate this! It’s a lovey gesture but just not well thought out.

Love 2 shop are the worst vouchers around. Better to give cash. FFS let the TA's choose what to do with it.

John Lewis is probably as tone deaf as an expensive restaurant. Most people don't have one anywhere near and just about everything in there costs a fortune.

At least with M&S there's a lot more of them, they have some things at normal prices and you can choose food, or clothes etc.

I was very un-British and vetoed a number of ridiculous suggestions on our school WhatsApp.

We see so many of these teacher gift threads and the issues of buying teachers/nursery workers gifts. Maybe it’s time to just stop giving gifts altogether? All children make a card and be done with this gift giving chaos?!

Not tone deaf on my opinion and would be well recieved at the nursery I work in. Our owner is fab, she covers taxis for staff nights out and childcare in most cases for those of us with children if partners not avaliable (myself and another mum are the exception to this as our children have complex sen) or put food in a taxi and facetime! It would cover an end of term meal that several of us would want to attend but would not prioritie budgetting for ahead of the summer holiday.

Previous setting at an independent school I worked in the manager encourage the very generous parents to donate to our Christmas and end of term meals so everything was covered for us.

It's the cards and drawings that I appreciate most.

This is ridiculous and personally I’d feel awful sitting there spending all this money on expensive food I’d never be able to afford to buy when I could have spent it on something meaningful.

I’d love this at the school I work in. We often get together for lunches at the weekend. They might do the same, doesn’t always have to be a big night out. with the cost of living crisis, a free meal out is the dream for me to be honest, but everyone is different. I think it’s a nice idea.

It's a gift and one which allows everyone to afford to go out and enjoy a meal together at the end of term, what a lovely idea.

Are the nursery staff upset about this gift?

Why are you assuming everyone who works in a nursery could never afford a £20 meal?

Yeah that's a poor choice.

An M&S or John Lewis voucher is better because you can buy something nice or something useful, whatever your preference.

I think cash is a much worse gift. It’ll just get put in the cash jar at home and spent on the random things you have to have cash for. A gift should be a treat. We did restaurant vouchers for nursery leaving gift BUT…. it was a voucher for a range of restaurants so they could have chosen a cheap place and gone wild or had a real treat at one of the more expensive ones. I hope that they used it to have a lovely night out on us.

At my sons nursery they can't accept gifts over a certain value and certainly not cash!

I haven’t gotten used to 2023 prices so I still think £20 is far too much for a main! Particularly if I had to go with colleagues 😂😂

Why would you have to go with colleagues though? You would have £40 so could treat yourself and anyone else you wanted to a meal.

What a great idea that someone had the time to organise a collection. Obviously it's a shame she didn't check with everyone beforehand what the general consensus was in terms of gifts. Did anyone make any suggestions or did the organiser take it upon themselves? Something to remember when you organise the collection next time. I'm sure the gifts will be gratefully received.

But if a main is £20, it doesn't just cost that does it?

It will probably be an absolute minimum of £50 for two mains and two drinks. What if they want a starter or a dessert? What if sides are extra? What if there's an 'optional' service charge that our low paid TAs 'have' to pay to avoid social suicide even though they get less of a tip in a year than the waiting staff get in a day or so?

On balance I think collections (where the amount is entirely up to the individual with a suggestion of a pound or two each) are far better than everyone buying their own gift and everyone getting piles of wine, chocs and 'best teacher' mugs and obviously this mum has done everyone a favour by stepping up, but I do wonder if she has a vested interest in the restaurant. Is it her's, or a family member's?

That’s why I don’t contribute to things like this. Transferring money to a woman I barely know, to buy stuff I might not like / approve of, to never be given a heartfelt thank you because it’s all just done en masse. I just buy presents I think they’ll like and make the children write a thank you card.