To be upset about being called Quasimodo at work?

[Lazym]

Let's be frank, I'm no oil painting, I know it as does everyone else but aside from plastic surgery, there's not much I can do about it. Suffered from comments all my life. I work in a supermarket where I have had comments about how I look off and on. One bloke who I work with though I'm particularly upset with as I saw him as an ally, lots of laughs but also lots of comments that I don't know if they're a joke or not. Last week I said about having the hump, and he said about Quasimodo, which another worker heard who I asked who he was talking about, X he said, meaning me, after that I got on with my work and didn't communicate for rest of the shift. I was so upset I nearly went home. Had a word with myself and went in next day and communicated the same as always, then get told by him to get out of the way in front of other colleagues, who laughed. He does this a lot, I seem to be the go to to insult in some way if there's anyone else about. This bloke is very popular at work and very funny, me not so much, so if I was to say anything to anyone they'd side with him and say he was joking. Aibu to be hurt by this and how can I stop these comments, not just by him but others as well? Id walk around with a bag on my head if I could but that's not a possibility. I've got a lot going on in my head at the moment so I'm thinking I'm being oversensitive.

You need to deal with people like this head on. Either tell a manager and raise a grievance. Or confront him there and them, even if you just tell him he isn’t speaking to you in a professional/respectful manner. You don’t have to retaliate in return.

@Lazym oh, love. Theirs is more to a person than what’s on the outside. Your colleague sounds like an absolute twat. Also, I bet he ISNT funny, there’s nothing less funny than having to drag others down to make yourself look better. If I worked with yous, I guarantee I would think he was a pathetic wanker. I bet loads of your colleagues feel the same.
Dont feel ashamed. I would seriously consider raising a grievance against this horrible person if I were you.

Were you saying you 'have the hump', ie you were cheesed off about something?

Or do you actually have a hunched back and were referring to that?

If the former I would have thought he was making a pun rather than necessarily having a dig at you.

Or is he the same guy that told you get out of the way and does this regularly?

The Quasimodo and the hump joke is a really old one, so I wouldn't take that personally OP, but as this wasn't a one off it sounds like this colleague is bullying you. Have you a manager that you can speak to about this?

YANBU, that is awful!
This says much more about him and his character than you. Try to hold your head high and forget it, but if it does get too much don’t forget you can always go to management/HR - you shouldn’t have to put up with that in the workplace.
Don’t be so hard on yourself! Sending hugs.

Quasimodo had a hump on his back. You said you had the hump. Any chance it wasn't actually anything to do with how you look? The rest of it sounds like the usual workplace attention whore who always has to be noticed - him. Not you.

Why on earth would you think a bully like that was an ally??
Just report him to your manager and have done with it.
What you look like is irrelevant, he shouldn't be calling you names and talking down to you. Who even laughs at "jokes" like that? Dear God are they all six?!

Oh poor you OP, I don’t know how people can sleep at night bullying others and putting them down. How horrible, no words of advice really, just wanted to give you a hand hold.

I think you might have misunderstood him - wasn't he just making a joke about you saying you had the hump?

"Quasimodo" was responding to your comment that you had the hump. Nothing to do with your appearance.

Why don't you get him on his own and just say "Could you tone down the personal jokes a bit? You don't mean to hurt but sometimes they do".

Start a diary. Write down what he says, when and where and who else was there. Also include days where nothing is said.

When you look back over it, it’s a lot easier to see the pattern.

The joke is not about how you look but a play on words.. Quasimodo has a hump in the story

This. You've misunderstood the context here

I'd go to HR

Terrible behaviour, hardly good for building a team!!

That is bullying OP and you need to contact your managers who have to reprimand the 'loser' for his atrocious behaviour.

Make a note of the days and times of incidents and take it to HR, they have to deal with him. See details of harrassment procedures.

The two examples you give wouldn't be bullying unless there is more.
Having the hump and quasimodo is an old joke, nothing to do with the way you look.
And being told to get out of the way is difficult unless you were there. If you were in his way he could easily said joking oy Lazym out if the way

As others have said, Quasimodo had a hump. I’d think it’d be quite common for someone to say something like ’alright Quasimodo’, if you said you had the hump.

But if you think you’re being bullied, either speak to him direct or escalate it.

Thank you for your comments. I appreciate it's a play on words but I notice a lot and he just wouldn't say these sort of things to other women who work there. I think I need to speak to him direct, I don't want to complain about him as it will just cause bad feeling. As in my op, he's a very popular co worker and I usually have a lot of time for him but last week, over the two shifts it just got a bit much for me. But I was stressed over other things which didn't help.

Agree with this, although if he persists keep a note and take it further, you shouldn’t have to put up with it.

It sounds like you didn't get the (quite common) joke. I really think you've taken it the wrong way.

If you are the constant butt of jokes and it's upsetting you, it's bullying.

It clearly is upsetting so take him aside and have a word. Chances are he doesn't realise how hurt you are. If he doesn't stop then make it official. At least give him a chance to change his behaviour

I think you have taken it the wrong way too. It sounds like banter to me, similar to how me and my colleagues would speak to each other as it’s a very relaxed workplace. He’s doing this to you as he sees you as a friend.

I’m really surprised at the amount of posters here thinking that’s ok for the guy to speak to OP like that and that she’s taking it the wrong way.

Curious whether they would take negative comments or digs (because that’s what they are) with smiley face.

YANBU OP. Take the guy on the side and tell him to stop his hurtful comments

You have been oversensitive in my view.

Unless you have a hunchback, calling you Quasimodo after you said you had the hump is not bullying in the slightest.

Tone is everything too, so saying "get out of the way" is not rude if said in a jokey manner.

That's workplace bullying.

Here's what you need to do:

1. Write everything down, with the days and times.
2. Talk to him direct first and let him know very clearly it's upsetting you, and ask him not to do it. Follow up with an email - keep it short, calm and factual.
3. If he doesn't IMMEDIATELY stop, write an email to HR / manager / your union, or ideally all three, with the dates and times of the incidents and the fact you asked him to stop in writing, and he hasn't. Again, keep this email short, calm and factual.
4. If their response isn't instantly helpful, escalate it to senior management, again in writing.
5. If that doesn't work, leave.