To be upset about being called Quasimodo at work?

[Lazym]

Let's be frank, I'm no oil painting, I know it as does everyone else but aside from plastic surgery, there's not much I can do about it. Suffered from comments all my life. I work in a supermarket where I have had comments about how I look off and on. One bloke who I work with though I'm particularly upset with as I saw him as an ally, lots of laughs but also lots of comments that I don't know if they're a joke or not. Last week I said about having the hump, and he said about Quasimodo, which another worker heard who I asked who he was talking about, X he said, meaning me, after that I got on with my work and didn't communicate for rest of the shift. I was so upset I nearly went home. Had a word with myself and went in next day and communicated the same as always, then get told by him to get out of the way in front of other colleagues, who laughed. He does this a lot, I seem to be the go to to insult in some way if there's anyone else about. This bloke is very popular at work and very funny, me not so much, so if I was to say anything to anyone they'd side with him and say he was joking. Aibu to be hurt by this and how can I stop these comments, not just by him but others as well? Id walk around with a bag on my head if I could but that's not a possibility. I've got a lot going on in my head at the moment so I'm thinking I'm being oversensitive.

You might be right about the rest.

But you are taking the Qusimodo comment out of context. It’s a fairly usual comeback if someone’s says they have the hump.

you actually have no idea what he would say to someone else who also said ‘I have got the hump’

Agree, document and report.

You can also call his bluff - ask him to explain the joke because you don't understand. Absolutely deadpan. Usually gets them.

I sincerely hope this is the case. I don't think or hope he hasn't intentionally meant to be hurtful. We do have a lot of banter usually and as I stated, a lot of laughs. Another co worker said not long ago we're like brother and sister as we get on very well. Think I need to stop being so sensitive. But as I stated it's hard when you've been ridiculed over your appearance all your life.

There is a lot in here about how you feel about yourself, and I think you are projecting that onto other people. The Quasimodo/Hump joke is ancient, I’ve had it said to me in the past, do you genuinely think he was saying you look like Quasimodo?

As others have said, if there are other instances keep note, and report it to your HR team. I very much doubt this is about your looks.

YANBU X

YANBU, he's kept it up over two shifts and ignored the fact you aren't laughing along.

I think you are being overly sensitive. As has been pointed out, the Quasimodo remark only came about because you said you had the hump, he probably would have said it to anyone who made the same comment. The fact that so many people have heard it said should tell you that it is very common. Telling someone to get out of the way also can be said in a lighthearted manner. If there are truly hurtful comments then yes, write then down, but I really think you are obsessing too much about every little remark and making it all about you.

Umm, surely he'd just explain the joke then 🤔

"You said you had the hump, Quasimodo had a hunchback (hump). Geddit?!"

I doubt he'd start stumbling over himself going "oh I just thought you were an absolute minger and was gonna start randomly calling you Quasimodo. And it had nothing to do with the fact you said you had the hump".

You could be right. I like to come on here because I get honest feedback from total (I think) strangers.

Maybe, at a moment he says something unsettling, try saying (in front of another colleague would be fine!) "I've noticed you saying things to me and about me that are quite insulting and unprofessional - please do your best to avoid this going forward so that we don't have to discuss this with HR. THANK YOU."

I really hope I am right, because being mean to anyone is not nice at all. Maybe just try and see their comments as lighthearted for a while and see how it goes, and if they really are being horrible then report it to someone.

I know newcomers at work were sometimes taken aback at how one of my workmates and I spoke to each other, until they learned we had been friends since childhood.