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AIBU?

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Original poster

Can't tell if these are digs at me or if I'm too sensitive

49 replies

Collins567 · 18/07/2023 16:55

A friend who's the same height as me (maybe 0.5 inches taller) described me as 'ickle'. I'm 5'7. I told her my father and brother are around 6'3, and she said 'and you're just ickle aren't you'.
At her wedding I was a bridesmaid, we had to be there at around 7am for hair and make up, the wedding wasn't until around 3pm, so a lot of waiting around. I went on my phone at some points (obviously just while we were waiting around) she said loudly in front of everyone 'Are you going to walk down the aisle on your phone?' like I was a child.
I was still talking to people, I don't like being told by other adults things like how often I should use a phone.
I don't drive, I never took to it. I know this is something certain people cannot fathom, however I live in a city and manage just fine. This group of friends have all driven since early 20s. She said in front of people 'Well Collins knows public transport better than anyone, don't you.' i found that a bit sly as I've often felt ashamed about not driving.
Finally, I used to work in a café for a bit and a guy came in and showed interest in me. (was single at the time) i told her, as that didn't happen very often. She said "Was he really young? Like 18?."

OP posts:
MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 18/07/2023 16:56

She's not a friend.

Serenity45 · 18/07/2023 17:00

She sounds like a snidey twat. Definitely not you OP

Original poster
Collins567 · 18/07/2023 17:02

It's just hard to tell, since she asked me to be a bridesmaid.
Once she asked me to go running together. I said yes but that I am not as fast as her so I don't mind if she runs shrady. She got annoyed and said, well what's the point of running together then, and seemed annoyed she kept having to stop.

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 18/07/2023 17:02

She sounds like she's on a power trip or something. I'd avoid this person like the plague.

Original poster
Collins567 · 18/07/2023 17:02

Runs ahead* sorry

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 18/07/2023 17:06

@Serenity45 can't think of a better word than snidey.

WarmButteryCrumpets · 18/07/2023 17:07

She sounds awful and she's not your friend.

But I have to confess the first paragraph cracked me up, it's so random 😂

Emmamoo89 · 18/07/2023 17:08

She sounds like a dick

Teenagequeenwithaloadedgun · 18/07/2023 17:11

I'd get rid on the basis of her using the word 'ickle', which should be banned.

Heavensalongwayaway · 18/07/2023 17:11

Agree with previous poster - power trip for sure

Circumferences · 18/07/2023 17:12

It all sounds a bit bitchy, yes, but have you considered maybe you were staring at your phone a bit too much? If I were getting ready to be married I might have been a bit annoyed at people looking obviously bored, and ignoring the room.

If I enjoyed running and went with someone who was just dragging their feet and not getting into I might have said something too?

You and this woman are incompatible, that's for sure. I don't condone bitchy comments like hers though.

Original poster
Collins567 · 18/07/2023 17:14

It's not about not getting into it. I cannot run as fast as she can, I can't make myself match her pace. I told her she could run ahead , we don't have to run joined at the hip. It's really a non issue.
Yeah, maybe I did seem like I was looking at it a lot which is fair enough, but I didn't like the way she told me off like a child in front of everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Collins567 · 18/07/2023 17:15

And sorry but yes a 7 hour wait was boring 😂 even if it was her wedding, after hours of waiting around you are a bit bored and hungry. Why make people get there so early.

OP posts:
Original poster
Collins567 · 18/07/2023 17:16

It's like Usain Bolt asking me to go running and then getting annoyed I can't run exactly the pace he can 😂

OP posts:
CountingMareep · 18/07/2023 17:18

Not everyone can do this OP, but I guarantee if you gave her a taste of her own medicine via a smart reply or two, she would sulk, big time. I’m guessing she’s either a ‘friend’ from school/college or one of those work bullies you have to stay on the right side of?

If she’s an ex neighbour or an outgrown schoolfriend I’d have no hesitation in dropping her.

Original poster
Collins567 · 18/07/2023 17:20

She's an outgrown schoolfriend for sure! I just wasn't sure if it was me, because she can also be really nice but can't they all.

OP posts:
WhatNoRaisins · 18/07/2023 17:20

It sounds like she wants you around to make herself feel better by putting you down. The fact that she feels the need to keep doing this means she's the one with the problem.

Original poster
Collins567 · 18/07/2023 17:20

Oh yeah 100% I'd be considered trash if I dared to say things back.

OP posts:
Lacucuracha · 18/07/2023 17:22

And yet you will continue to remain friends with her after a vent here…

TheEponymousGrub · 18/07/2023 17:23

Yeah, she doesn't sound all that nice. Options:
A) start gently calling her out. Say "Come on, that's not very nice!" or "Oh, you meanie!" or "Hey, don't talk to me like that, please" or whatever sounds natural, each time. If she responds in any way other than apologising/stopping, then she's not a friend and you stop giving her your time.
B) Suck it up until you hate her. (Do not recommend.)

Original poster
Collins567 · 18/07/2023 17:25

No I won't necessarily. I barely see her or speak anymore anyway as she no longer makes efforts. I've deleted her number and I'm just trying to help myself move on.

OP posts:
HermeticDawn · 18/07/2023 17:29

It sounds like a combination of both to me, but some is definitely own own sensitivities. The ‘ickle’ comment sounds like a poor joke on your height (tall for a woman) compared to your very tall brother and father, and the comment about you knowing public transport well is presumably factually accurate. It got to you because you’re ashamed of not being able to drive. I can’t drive either, but wouldn’t have viewed that comment as anything other than an indication that I would know the bus options better than drivers.

The running thing sounds weird and not particularly nice of her, and the wedding phone thing sounds potentially like a nervous, keyed-up bride maybe wanting there to be a sense of occasion and excitement all morning while secretly recognising everyone is bored to death with all the hanging around.

But what they all have in common is that you seem to feel the comments viewed you young, small, or childlike — I think this is definitely a sensitivity of yours, as most 5 ft 7” women feel, if anything, slightly on the tall side of average, and someone who was ok with being a non-driver wouldn’t see a factual statement about you knowing public transport as anything other than a statement of fact.

Are you much younger than her?

TheEponymousGrub · 18/07/2023 17:29

Also, if she's any kind of a runner at all, she'll already know that successfully running "with" someone who isn't exactly your speed really requires a clear agreement about whether it's OK to split up. The run is unpleasant for both parties if that isn't explicit. Still, it sounds like she gets what she needs by making you feel bad, sorry.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 18/07/2023 17:30

Weirdo. Avoid.

Thosepeskyseagulls · 18/07/2023 17:32

Calling someone ‘ickle’ who is 5’7” is ridiculous.