Can't tell if these are digs at me or if I'm too sensitive

[Collins567]

A friend who's the same height as me (maybe 0.5 inches taller) described me as 'ickle'. I'm 5'7. I told her my father and brother are around 6'3, and she said 'and you're just ickle aren't you'.
At her wedding I was a bridesmaid, we had to be there at around 7am for hair and make up, the wedding wasn't until around 3pm, so a lot of waiting around. I went on my phone at some points (obviously just while we were waiting around) she said loudly in front of everyone 'Are you going to walk down the aisle on your phone?' like I was a child.
I was still talking to people, I don't like being told by other adults things like how often I should use a phone.
I don't drive, I never took to it. I know this is something certain people cannot fathom, however I live in a city and manage just fine. This group of friends have all driven since early 20s. She said in front of people 'Well Collins knows public transport better than anyone, don't you.' i found that a bit sly as I've often felt ashamed about not driving.
Finally, I used to work in a café for a bit and a guy came in and showed interest in me. (was single at the time) i told her, as that didn't happen very often. She said "Was he really young? Like 18?."

No we're the same age, maybe it is that, there was no context to the public transport comment though. It wasn't like 'Collins knows transport well, I'll ask her how to get to X place."
That would've been fine, but it was the delivery of it and she was quite ill at the time so I think she was just taking her stress out on me even though I'd gone to see her .

It's a lame of the top of my head example, but you know in Harry Potter how Draco Malfoy has those two lower status friends who he just keeps around to insult? That's what you are to your 'friend'. She likes having you around so she can feel better about herself.

Seriously do yourself a favour and don't bother with her anymore

5'7" is so clearly not ickle. I'm 5'1 and if an adult called me ickle I'd think, what's your gig. But the POWER she must feel being half an inch taller, wow.

Personally I would have been fuming with the phone comment in front of everyone. So patronising. So what if you were on your phone the whole time, it wasn’t the actual wedding just getting ready for it. Did she need your 100% attention at all times?

She's one of those put down merchants, cuts you down to make herself feel better.

From my experience you really need to nip this in the bud because the more you let her get away with this the ruder it will get.

Perhaps prepare a response like "did you mean to be rude?" MN favourite or get her to repeat what she said with a shocked look on your face .

Pull her up on it or you'll give her carte blanche to belittle you.

Another non committal response is 'gosh, what a weird thing to say'

Thank you. The problem is I was too meek to reply anything in all the examples given. Hopefully I'll not see her again now though.

Couldn't be friends with someone who used the word ickle
Is she 4?

Some school friend's never let you evolve. I had a friend who was really good to me when I was dumped and upset, but later when I more myself and happy, she seemed to bearly tolerate me 🤔

Yep, it's a horrible word 😂

I had a ' friend' like that after years of her trying to make me feel small with passive aggressive 'compliments' and observations. I ended the friendship. You can distance yourself and end a friendship over small but hurtful comments op you don't have to wait until you have a big fall out.

Had a friend like this one time I did try to stick up for myself when she made a rude comment about how I walk, I said to her

" your always over analysing me" to her reply was "thats why I will be a big success in my life, that's why I will make it " and said this to me aggressively -too which I just stayed quiet

years later she never "'made it" or has had any success, in fact her life's the opposite, our friendship fizzled out eventually and I'm glad we're only fb friends now, I don't have her number etc and don't speak to her anymore

Definitely! If you're noticing a pattern, trust your judgement and slide her out of your life.

What you mean everyone was talking about the cost of living or what was on in the cinema and she just suddenly piped up ‘X knows public transport better than anyone’?

Shows you the mindset @scarletclive if somebody ever tlsaid "I find it quite hurtful /dismissive when you say xyz" I'd be mortified. Imagine thinking that being a good Insulter was going to take you places.

Continual negative responses would get anyone down.. yanbu move on from that relationship, she’s not a friend

It was absolutely the mindset among the smart crowd in the 90s and 00s. That was the era of sarky features journalists like Jan Moir and Victor Lewis-Smith, and telly like Never Mind the Buzzcocks (which relied on ridiculing those who didn’t know the right kind of music), when Heat and Closer were bestsellers, and when horrible blind gossip websites were cool and trendy rather than a sad grubby precursor to Twitter and its ilk. Thanks to social media trolls we know that insults are neither clever nor witty.

If you ever have the unfortunate experience of seeing her again just completely ignore her. You’re too good for that piece of shit.

There's people who tell you like it is, because they're friends and want you be your best, and then there are people who just make you feel bad for the sake of it. They gain nothing from it and neither do you. Obviously everybody has bad days now and then and nasty things fly out of one's mouth before thinking. The difference is whether it's a one off or a regular thing. If it's a regular thing: move on, people are who they are and they unlikely to change. There's no viagra for the soul, if they've small minds today, they'll still be small tomorrow. If you dislike them, don't invest in the relationship, just move on.

The last point seems very rude but the rest not really. The height thing is clearly an unfunny joke as you are clearly not short, perhaps you were on your phone quite a lot and looked disinterested in proceedings and as you don’t drive, you would be familiar with public transport. 🤷‍♀️

Just the fact that she says "ickle" would be enough to make me want to to twat her. She sounds bloody awful

In my experience, if it feels like someone’s getting at you then they usually are.

Some women are like this: they seem to want to hang around with you so you get signals that they’re your friend but then they make snidey comments the whole time.

Like PPs have said, it’s a power trip. There’s something about putting you down that makes her feel good.

Def digs at you. She's a bitch and sees you as an easy target for her bad humour who does not bite back

Learn to stand up for yourself

If it was just one incident I might think could have been a bad day and she was feeling a bit crap. It's not like anyone's morally perfect. If someone keeps doing the same thing, good or bad, then that's just what they're like.