To not want guests staying again

Sunandsurf · 2023-07-18T15:36:13+00:00

We live in a very popular seaside town and have a self-contained annexe. We use it as a WFH space when not in the office and it's useful for close family to stay in. This year we've had two different sets of guests come to stay and both times they've stayed much longer than I expected (a month and two weeks). The last guest didn't even leave a bottle of wine/chocs to say thanks. Nothing. I'm expecting another request to stay soon and I just don't want to do it any more. Am I being a grump?

Tinkerbyebye · 18/07/2023 16:38

No

JamSandle · 18/07/2023 16:39

Nope

Octonaut4Life · 18/07/2023 16:40

Why did they stay longer than expected? Didn't you just say no sorry that doesn't work for us?

Emmamoo89 · 18/07/2023 16:41

No

Moltenpink · 18/07/2023 16:41

Just say sorry, it’s only being used as a work space from now on

neverwakeasleepingbaby · 18/07/2023 16:41

No you're totally reasonable to refuse. It must be costing you a fortune in gas and electric. A month is taking the piss!

Almahart · 18/07/2023 16:42

A month?! wtf. Just say no in the future, you need it for work.

TrundleWheel76 · 18/07/2023 16:42

I can't imagine guests for a month, sounds painful!

YANBU to refuse.

DoesNotPlayWellWithIdiots · 18/07/2023 16:43

You're absolutely, definitely, totally not BU. Your home, your rules.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 18/07/2023 16:46

This seems to happen all the time to people who live anywhere anyone else thinks is convenient or exotic. Everyone I knew in this situation (including us) just completely stopped having people to stay, they didn’t seem particularly grateful , more envious and resentful.

Twilight7777 · 18/07/2023 16:47

you are not unreasonable to refuse for any reason tbh, but definitely not unreasonable in this case, and a month?! Wtf that is some serious Cheeky Fuckery going on!

Original poster

Sunandsurf · 18/07/2023 16:48

As I say, it's self-contained, so they don't disturb us as such. It's just letting them know when we need to use it in the day/not being able to pop in to get spare linen in the middle of the night when everyone was puking with Noro. It was just galling when my friend had a seaside break for free (costing us gas and electric) and didn't leave so much as a bottle of wine.

OP posts:

Rainbowshine · 18/07/2023 16:49

Do you need a reason to give them, it sounds like they are not going to respect your boundaries if you say that you don’t want to have them to stay and might need to “blame” some external factors to make them accept it.

“we have found out that our insurance doesn’t allow this anymore so we can’t let people stay”

“we have to limit the number of days that people stay or it impacts our electricity tariff/council tax/insurance”

TomatoSandwiches · 18/07/2023 16:49

Say no or start charging local rates, YANBU.

Original poster

Sunandsurf · 18/07/2023 16:53

The first time was only supposed to be a few days and it dragged on and on. A few more days, a few more days..... The second time I just assumed it was going to be a week (didn't read the message properly). It literally didn't cross my mind that someone would ask to say that long. Not leaving anything as a gift/contribution for a free holiday made my blood boil.

OP posts:

VickyEadieofThigh · 18/07/2023 16:56

If anyone asks again, simply say it's needed for wfh and you can't accommodate them any more.

If you feel like it, tell them it cost you a lot more than you expected in energy, etc costs and you aren't willing to pay for them to have a free holiday again.

Original poster

Sunandsurf · 18/07/2023 16:59

I don't know what excuse I can use other than saying someone else is staying. The insurance thing wouldn't ring true. And they know we only use it for work. Another friend used to use it regularly and pretty much dropped me when she no longer needed it. It's the hassle of making sure it's presentable in the middle of really busy work weeks too. Laundry, cleaning it, making up the bed and stripping it. Really gets on my nerves.

OP posts:

Snowfalling · 18/07/2023 17:00

I feel stressed just reading this. Guests dragging their stay for weeks??? Omg no way
What are you going to say next time a request comes? Please be ready.

Just say 'we find it really stressful having people to stay in our workplace, so have to say no'. Then just ignore if they try to persuade you. I find leaving very long gaps in getting back to CFs really effective.

Original poster

Sunandsurf · 18/07/2023 17:00

We could get a lot AirBNB-ing it but don't want the hassle. Feels like we're getting the hassle and it's costing US money!

OP posts:

Shinyandnew1 · 18/07/2023 17:00

I don't know what excuse I can use other than saying someone else is staying.

Seriously?!

How about…’Sorry, we aren’t having guests in there any more. Too many people were taking the piss and we use it as a home office now anyway.’

Bilboard · 18/07/2023 17:00

Rainbowshine · 18/07/2023 16:49

Do you need a reason to give them, it sounds like they are not going to respect your boundaries if you say that you don’t want to have them to stay and might need to “blame” some external factors to make them accept it.

“we have found out that our insurance doesn’t allow this anymore so we can’t let people stay”

“we have to limit the number of days that people stay or it impacts our electricity tariff/council tax/insurance”

This.
Or say no visitors for more than 3 days. (and they should pay for at least a take away and a bottle of wine)
Or you could say you going to rent the space out.
Mind you, "no, it doesn't work for us" is as good answer as any.
I had a guest in my house for nearly two months last year, on and off, my house was like a free hotel kind of thing. When I asked my visitor if I could come over to their house, their answer was " no, I prefer not to have people in my space".
I learn a lot from that person.
I am less hospitable these days.

VickyEadieofThigh · 18/07/2023 17:01

Sunandsurf · 18/07/2023 16:59

I don't know what excuse I can use other than saying someone else is staying. The insurance thing wouldn't ring true. And they know we only use it for work. Another friend used to use it regularly and pretty much dropped me when she no longer needed it. It's the hassle of making sure it's presentable in the middle of really busy work weeks too. Laundry, cleaning it, making up the bed and stripping it. Really gets on my nerves.

Just tell them you aren't willing to pay for anyone's free holiday again, then. Which is the truth.

Rainbowshine · 18/07/2023 17:01

”No we can’t accommodate guests any more, you will have to find another place to stay”

”The annex isn’t available to stay, you will have to find somewhere else”

etc

DemonicCaveMaggot · 18/07/2023 17:01

'I'm busy with work and we're just not up for having visitors at the moment'. That you are always busy when they want to visit and not when your PIL or considerate friends want to visit is an unfortunate coincidence.

WilkinsonM · 18/07/2023 17:02

Tell them you're airbnbing it and if they ask tell them you'll offer a 10% discount!