Anyone have a baby/toddler but no car?

[Marcos56]

I don't drive and just wondered if anyone's in this situation, and if they manage ok?

I didn't learn to drive until my kids were older, we did have a car bought when dd was 6 months old and exh drives. I took my kids around all over the place, public transport (lives in a city, used exh's work bus pass)

I passed my test when ds was 2. I wish I’d done it before I’d had him (I never had as where I grew up I never felt the need to as everything was easily accessible via excellent transport links or from walking). Those two years without a car (DH can’t drive because of his eyesight) were hell.

We live in an area with shoddy public transport (that’s also very expensive), no easy access to places to take a baby (can’t even go to a health centre without walking for miles) and even something as simple as going to the shops was a huge undertaking (even before baby arrived). It just made me feel even more cut off.

Things are a lot better since I passed my test and bought a car.

London zone 3 and never had a car. Walk and take buses. Yes when DS was little it was annoying if the bus was full of buggies (in London you’re not expected to fold them and 3 fit comfortably - get one good for buses) and you’d have to wait for the next one. I didn’t take the tube much on my own but would with my DH at weekends, and look up routes with a lift.

both my SIL live in different cities (not London) and have also never had a car and they’ve raised another 4 kids between them. We’ve all been fine with a mixture of walking, public transport and bikes.

we hire cars to go away on holiday, and had a car seat for that. We got a lift home from hospital from a lovely friend, but had our own car seat (borrowed for a year from
another friend!)

I did have a fair number of hospital appointments after the birth and a car would have been good then. My
mum came up for a bit with her car. But that was only the first few weeks / months have had no need of a car since. We tried the local car club but that was a faff on my own as had to walk baby to the car a few streets away, sort out car seat and buggy etc, then try to navigate with screaming baby as baby not used to car. Etc.

sorry, longer than intended!

We don’t have a car, and we had two DC -they are teens now. Everything was fine either walking, or public transport -plentiful where we live. I used a sling a lot for a baby and pushchair/stroller -easily foldable-for a toddler, so usually had both children. Sling was definitely easiest for transportability. We didn’t actually get a pram, because we knew we’d never use it.

I had twins on my own and no car. We lived to tell the tale.

Not an issue at all. Mine are six and four now, I think they’ve benefited massively from using public transport. I still meet kids who’ve never been on in a bus or train, that’s just crazy.

Public transport is social, involves negotiating relationships, managing frustration, learning to read timetables, ask for information etc. Prepares them for being teens/pre teens. Stops me being the kid of parent who can’t imagine little Lucy heading across the country on a train on her own aged 15.

Plus we get to feel virtuous about saving the planet, get actual real exercise as part of ordinary life, be part of the community in a way car drivers never can be. We feel and experience the weather rather than move around in a climate controlled box. I’ve navigated trains, buses, tubes, trams with prams and slings. We’ve explored parts of cities and towns cars can never see. My kids get to move and explore rather than be strapped in for hours a day. It has its downsides but overall I highly recommend not driving. Good for you, good for kids and most importantly good for the planet. Driving is killing us all, society should be adjusting so nobody drives.

The thing I would say is that I personally found it totally straightforward when mine were babies and toddlers, for me it got harder when they were too big for a sling or buggy but still couldn't walk too far.

In particular, after school activities - when 4/5/6 mine struggled to walk 20 mins after school, do a swimming lesson or Beavers or whatever and then walk back. It's not that they can't walk 20 mins, it's that they struggle to do it after school and particularly after a physical activity.

I am sure someone will come along shortly to scoff at that and great for you if your 4 year old can do it but mine struggle. So we now have a cargo bike for that sort of thing. The kids still do plenty of walking but it means we can ferry them to after school activities much more quickly.

I've never owned a car (only parent- widowed for years so no driver in the family) and have 2 DCs, now teens. It can be done fairly easily but it does make a few aspects of life quite difficult....

It depends very much where you live and if you have funds for alternative transport when required.

I live in a small city, in the first suburb outside the centre. There's a local high street, buses into city centre, catchment primary schools so kids' friends mainly local, park, gym, library, hospital with A&E, etc all within 15 mins walk.
Leisure centre/ swimming lessons- we had to get taxis- pain in the arse getting ones with correct child seats.
Secondary school they had to get a bus across the city (expensive!).
Local family member kindly helps occasionally with lifts ( maybe once every couple of months) as they know this really helps me out.
Holidays and trips very limited/ difficult/ expensive on the train. Occasionally hired a car but too expensive to do regularly.
Work- 30 minute walk. I had to get taxis back when they were in nursery/ primary after school club to get back in time. But just walk now.
I get a supermarket delivery every week.

Get a really good raincoat and boots for you for pushing the buggy. Waterproofs for your DCs and a good rain hood for the buggy. My teen DCs are good uncomplaining walkers now, though increasingly developing uber habits!

2 kids, 6 & 9. Never had a car, although we can both drive. It requires a bit more effort and planning, trips take a bit longer etc. However, the money we save has had a huge impact on our finances. We spend some of it on the odd taxi or hire car but most of it we save. We've never planned to have a car so we've planned out lives around it. We chose jobs we could get to on public transport, a house near cycle paths and bus stops etc.

I'm learning to drive now. It's a total non-negotiable for me before we have baby 2.

Maternity leave was so much more stressful not having a car.

Baby classes didn't line up well with our public transport, meaning I spent literally hours a week hanging about at either end. And that's if they could be got to with public transport in the first place, lots of classes were in suburban village halls not well connected to the main town.

I had to cart a lot more stuff in my pram basket, not just a nappy bag but also toys and books to keep him entertained.

I also felt quite trapped in the house when he was napping more and we had time to fill that either was too short to get transport somewhere or just didn't line up well with the trains. And when baby was a purple crier, I couldn't just put him in the car seat and drive around to attempt a car nap. Instead I had to push him around in the buggy for hours on end.

Even now as a toddler, I find it annoying not having a car. My toddler doesn't want to be strapped in the pram much anymore but doesn't have the stamina to walk for a whole trip out. So we bring the buggy along, but then I'm trying to manage a toddler wandering along or wanting to run off but also steer the buggy.

I drive and have a car but it's kaput and I haven't got around to scrapping it yet! I have a 2yo and a 3m old.
Pram, buggyboard, scooter, sling - some combination of!
Buses, trains, on foot.

I have never had a license and my children are 8 and 5, DH drives.

It was massively important to me to live somewhere that a car was not needed because if we plan to live somewhere for decades, I don’t want to have to worry about not being able to get from a to b in old age, if we ever need to sell the car, or something happens where are mobility is hampered and it wouldn’t be safe for us to drive.

The estate we live on was set up to where a car is optional. We bought an I-Candy Orange double for me when he was born and I still use it now. It’s my “car” pretty much. Massive basket, tandem so doesn’t take up much space and fits three children (has a built-in buggy board). Also, had an adapter where you can connect a child’s car seat.
I’ve dropped off the children and used it as a trolley to pick up groceries, , transport things, and to go to the laundromat (to wash duvets and sheets).
I’ve also benefitted from the exercise of walking and pushing it everywhere. It was an investment but it has definitely paid for itself several times over and if we do sell it, we could probably get at least half the money we paid for it back.

I do have a license but not car. Trying for a baby right now!
I do live in a city, and use public transport to get everywhere (or ubers!)

I am hoping to continue car free, even when baby arrives!

Hope it goes well for you OP!

We did, but we lived in London so lots of public transport.

I've never held a licence and I've managed with 3 children plus grandchildren.

The only problem I had was with a bus that I couldn't get a double buggy on and I had a baby and a small toddler. Must say the bus driver was brilliant

Most mums I know don't drive, it's normal.

And nowhere near London, I'm up north

I had a car when mine was a baby. He's just turned 4 and haven't had one now for almost 2 years. I'd quite like one for the summer holidays but haven't found one. Day to day there's no need.

But we do live within a 20 minute walk away from my parents, my job, childminder and school!

We were initially. DH passed his driving test when DD was a baby, we bought our family car when DD was almost 3 and I was pregnant with DC2. I was learning to drive in between kids too but I'm autistic and have an anxiety disorder so after three failed tests and thousands of pounds in lessons I felt like I had to put that on pause for the foreseeable because we cant afford for me to continue sadly.

We managed fine before we had the car but I think it would have become a lot harder with two of them and as our eldest got older. She's 5 now and she does swimming lessons and gymnastics classes on the weekend now and neither are very conveniently accessible via public transport so DH drives her to/from both of those. I guess she just wouldn't go otherwise.

Car is very costly though, petrol is expensive now and our insurance is still insane as costs have gone up and DH is still in his 20s and only passed his test a few yrs ago. We used to get taxis fairly frequently before we had the car and it would never come close to the cost of our car insurance. So we really do pay through the nose for the extra convenience.

I look after the kids two days a week on my own and there's lots of amenities locally so never been bothered then about lack of car. We walk or get the bus to local playgroups, local parks, local friends and family, local libraries etc generally or sometimes we will get the bus a bit further afield into town for playgroups/museums/library or to a friend's house or softplay. But then as we have the car with DH on the weekends we can go further afield then. We don't that often tbh though cos of costs generally anyway.