Anyone have a baby/toddler but no car?

[Marcos56]

I don't drive and just wondered if anyone's in this situation, and if they manage ok?

We live in a city of ½ million (not London) with good buses. No car with 1 DC & it's rarely a problem. Use online shopping, buses, slings alot when DC was small, made sure the buggy fot onto buses & could fold easily, bike seat & now DC cycles a bit too. We do use a car through (car club or insured on a family member's car) for some day trips & holidays.

Really?? Which hospital and what did they actually say to you?

Most people I know took black cabs home and you don’t remove baby from the pram in those, one friend of mine walked and another took the bus as it was only a couple of stops, other people I know have fixed carseats not baby carriers like we do. Never heard of anyone being held hostage or even having it questioned. I personally had a nice chat with the midwife about how nifty the YoYo is!

Dh drives but works through the week. Bus, walking, train etc. All options. You’re city centre based so public transport should be decent. Try avoid busy times if you can, and get a pram you can fold and carry one handed if there isn’t space. Carrier was my preferred option under 6 months, as we had a bassinet pram that couldn’t be folded and she was dinky so easy to pop in and out. It’s obviously easier with a car but it’s not the soul sucking experience a PP describes either. Plus kids love the bus.

A car seat is a good idea, as others have said, both for taxis & car hires. I have heard of people leaving hospital with baby in a sling or pram- perhaps just get it on your notes/birth plan so all health care professionals are aware.

I did. I had a second hand pram that accommodated two, then a (cheapest Motherccare folding) push chair that accommodated one sitting and one standing. We also had a Mothercare baby backpack; and at one time I had a baby seat on my bicycle. We took our children everywhere.
Back then, many families had either no car or only one car. Just like now.

It's all do-able.

@Marcos56 do you live in a place with decent and reliable public transport, a decent and reliable local taxi company, a place that delivery companies have no issues delivering to and a small co-op type shop in walking distance?
If you have that then you will be fine with no car.

LRI in Leicester wouldn’t let me leave carrying my child. (We had a non-removable car seat). Literally stood in front of me and made me put her back into the little bed to wheel her outside in incase I fell over. She needed to be in a car seat I was told. I picked her up as soon as the wheels of that bed were out the door. I had to roll that little bed over loads of bumps / blind markers on the path which I refused and was way worse than just carrying her. The dog of a nurse barking at me about insurance and safety couldn’t answer when I said why was I allowed to walk around with her carrying her in the hospital then? If we’re all this massive hazard? No answer. This was when I was transferring to a MLU for aftercare, where they laughed when I asked if I was allowed to carry her in as I wasn’t allowed to carry her out of the hospital. I was made to feel like a fucking idiot by the midwives in the hospital, the car was maybe 10 seconds by the door and I was physically blocked. I only complied so I could get her out the doors without a scene. I wanted to complain to PALS but didn’t have the energy in the early days.

2 different things no? A no carrying the baby in your arms policy is one thing and I get why they might say that even though yes it’s daft. My London hospital also had that policy. That does not equate to you must have an infant carrier car seat and you’d be held hostage if you attempt to leave with baby in the pram.

We didn't get a car until DD was 3, and I didn't learn to drive until she was in school. We live in a village, but there was a bus into town every 20 minutes, so we had relatively good public transport. It's absolutely fine.

Tips:

Choose your pram - we went for one with plenty of luggage space underneath for doing the shopping. The only snag was when we discovered it wouldn't fit in my parents' boot, but we got round that. It wasn't a good pram for anyone who wanted to put it in a car, but it was great for us.

BabiesRUs were fantastic at advising us on the car seat which fits the largest number of cars - it was useful to have one so that we could accept lifts, but of course it was no use if it would fit the car. We were before isofix became common, so I don't know how that will affect things.

Although it's always best to have proper car restraints, there are two exceptions to the law: taxis, and short local journeys in unexpected circumstances. I think the latter boils down to "your friend won't be fined for giving you a lift to A&E". ROSPA advised us that if we had the pram, we should ask for a wheelchair accessible taxi, and put the pushchair facing perpendicular to the direction of motion. The other thing we did was to get me in and belted, and then put her in the sling (when small) or put the long bit of her reins around me, so that she was secured to me.

Reins can be hooked round the back of some bus seats to help keep a toddler anchored.

If you have a longer bus journey, make sure a toddler has been to the playground before you get on the bus home (or go to the library with a crawler) so that they aren't restless. (That applies to long car journeys too.)

Holidays: we usually holidayed in this country. We had a jumbo suitcase which held enough for all three of us for a week (buying nappies on arrival). Many holiday lets can supply travel cot/highchair. Having a half hour train connection was not a bad thing - she could run off a bit of energy in the station.

We did A&E on the bus twice, for injuries. It turned out to work really well - she fell asleep in the pushchair and was then rested and cooperative when we actually got to see someone.

Some positives:
You get to have so much more communication with your baby/toddler sitting next to their buggy on the bus than you do when you're driving and they're rear-facing in the back of the car.
You can feed them on the bus (when my parents gave us a lift to a family event, it was a bit of a shock to me that we had to be up early enough to feed her before we left!).
Mine had all her naps in the pram (pushchair later) - often falling asleep on the way home from baby groups and then stayed asleep when we got home. That might work less well for you if you have stairs to your flat, though.

DS is almost two and we manage fine with no car. We live in a London suburb near shops and amenities. I don't drive for a range of reasons - never got diagnosed formally with dyspraxia but I have big issues with spatial awareness and coordination and major anxiety about driving lessons. Something I am going to revisit next year!
The YoYo pram has been a godsend. It ain't cheap but it is compact and is really good for public transport. Not being able to drive has limited our holiday options a bit but honestly daily life is fine and I had a lovely mat leave.

I live in London and hardly any friends have cars, I don't drive. I don't find it a hassle

I lived in a city with first one and then two tiny children. I had a car but had next to no use for it. We could walk to supermarket, bottle bank, parks,toddler group , library etc. I lived in a rural location with my first and it would have found it much harder or at least less I teresti g. I would also have been dependent on DH for food shopping, lift to hair dresser etc

Thanks so much for your replies :) my next question is about raising one in a 1 bed flat 😂 (to start with)

We have a 4yo and a 1yo and we live in London. We've never ha a car. We're very central in zone 2, with the tube 5 mins walk and train 10 mins walk, and 20 bus routes in 3-14 mins walk. So can get anywhere really and no hassle of parking or cost of petrol. School and office are walking distance and can go on day trips and holidays easily as it's easy to get to mainline stations and trains to airport or Eurostar. Never need to use taxis as connections are excellent. Except for coming home from hospital, because I couldn't walk the 10 mins to tube after a c-section so we got a taxi. DC1 was in a buggy at the back.

Groceries are delivered. Used a buggy and carrier in early days, then a Phil and Ted's sometimes, or buggy and scooter depending on where we go. Found it better to go for a buggy without a huge basket, as the smaller buggies which are easier to fold tend to have smaller baskets. Plus you don't want to the basket to be full of loose items when you come to fold it, as they all fall out and the buggy doesn't close properly. Better to have everything in a rucksack then you put it on your back and baby in a carrier and the folded buggy on your shoulder, then you can board any transport whenever you want and not wait for a bus that has one of its two buggy spots free.

We did for 2.5 years, from a year before dc1 was born until he was 18 months. We stopped using a car because ours failed its MOT and We couldn't afford to replace it. We live in a fairly rural area and dc1 is 17 now so back then supermarket delivery, online shopping and Amazon prime wasn't as popular as they are now. Only 2 takeaways near us delivered. The hardest bit was when I had to go to hospital for bleeding we had to ask someone for a lift at a time when we would rather it was just the 2 of us. Taxi's weren't an option because we couldn't afford them. We got the bus a lot and my in-laws have us a lift to Tesco once a month to buy the bulky stuff. Everything else we had to carry ourselves. It was ok and we managed it but it was very hard.

Surely it massively depends where you live. Where I am would be fine - I could walk to a different stay and play every day; close to parks; close to shops; on several bus routes. I did have a car and mostly used that to getting to in laws (20 min car journey vs at least an hour and a half bus journey and walking)

I've never driven and I have a 20 year old, a 9 year old and a 7 year old.
I've found it fine but the times a car would have been really handy is when we need to go to the airport or when it's really raining.
I've tried driving but as an autistic I cannot pick it up at all.

I don’t drive but husband does. Everything is a million times easier when he is here with the car. I feel a lot less restricted when we have the car.

We went with a travel system as it was the type of pram we wanted anyway and that came with a car seat, which we found handy on occasion. I never got on with a sling but friends had them and found them very convenient. Never had much of a problem getting on buses in central Manchester, and the rain never bothered me anyway- sure you'll be used to it anyway, as we seem to be having all the weather the last few weeks!

I don’t drive and have a 20 month old.

My husband has a car though so we get to go on lots of lovely days out at weekends.

During the week I walk to local places )local village, park, beach) and I get the bus to other villages and the train into the city centre. Luckily the doctors is within walking distance otherwise I’d be stressed about missing appointments.

I have never driven due to health reasons. So I’m used to walking in the rain and I have a jacket for every weather possibility and it’s fine.

It helps massively if you can drive, but I think it also depends on where you live.

When DD was born we lived in a tiny village where the pavements just stopped in all directions. We had one car and DH needed it for work. For the first six months of her life I was stuck in the village (no buses, couldn't afford a taxi) unless DM came over and took us out. It was SHIT and I was very down. We got a second car when DD was six months old and it changed my life!

When we moved to where we are now, we had to scrap the first car so went down to one again. We live in a town where you can walk to most places, and I didn't mind it so much that time because I could just go to a shop if I felt like it! Then DH started cycling to work and I got the car back, and it did help a lot.

I managed without a car with two kids until the younger one was 2.5. To be honest (bar days of atrocious weather) it was absolutely fine with just the eldest, but we live in a city. If I still lived in the countryside I think it would be far more difficult getting places/shopping. His brother was difficult to get out and about from day dot, constantly screaming if we were out too long, but he’s since been diagnosed with ASD and GDD and explains why he could never really cope with big loud places. I won’t lie, having a car now is a lifesaver, I went without it for a week and it was hell. But you grow too reliant on these things don’t you.

There's significant benefits to this! The main one being that you can be really strict about the amount of stuff that people give you with the perfectly valid excuse that there's no room. We now live in a house and I'm very pleased with it, but it did mean that suddenly gifts to DS1 exploded in size. You also don't worry about stairs, don't really need a monitor (although you might want one for watching TV and not hearing them) and generally can get on with things easily while they stay in one place.

We moved just as DS1 was starting to walk (around 14 months) and I think the real immediate benefit was that he couldn't see us from his cot, and that made a big difference to him self settling at night. If he could see us he pretty much felt it was a moral imperative that we were all awake.

just put baby in pram/pushchair and walk i do not drive and managed with a baby and toddler 40 yrs ago no buggy boards then either. gave me lots of time to talk to the boys as we walked, sang nursery rhymes etc

I never had any interest in driving after an incident with a go kart as a child, I just decided it wasn't for me.

Had my first baby, we're out every single day on the buses and we do lots of walking, for the most part it's been grand, I have great bus routes by me but there have been a couple of incidents where I've started to think I should have learnt to drive like buses being cancelled, shit weather etc. I then knew that I wanted to driving my the time my daughter was more independent so I can always jump in the car if she needs me. Did my theory and was waiting for lessons and found myself pregnant again. Ideally I'd like to be driving by the time the baby is born but I have to accept there's a chance I won't be which will be difficult because I'll have to navigate a double buggy on public transport. I'm just sorry I left it so long, but one baby on public transport has been fine for the most part, we have a great social life!