I know I am, I'm a total bitch who has no patience for her own mother

[Bangandthedirtisgone]

Does anyone else have a mother they just constantly lose their patience with?

It doesn't seem to matter what we talk about, she gets under my skin. I'm like a teenager.

I get so, so annoyed because she just never listens. She's just told me that when our baby is born she will be parking her campervan on our drive because there won't be room for her to stay. We have 2 spare rooms ffs! I had a conversation with her last week about the fact that one room will be a nursery and the other room with be a guest room/office.

Sorry, doubt anyone cares very much about this or will reply, but I had to get it out.

No patience for her own mother? Think that should be no patience with her own mother....

Yeah Bang, paretns have ways of annoying the shite out of you.

Bear that in mind when you roll up at your dcs in twenty years time with inappropriate gifts and unwanted advice

I fgeel your pain.

Mine is just emotionally constipted. I got upset in the car a few weeks ago, anhd she just said "Oooh,m I didn;t know there was a Tescos there"

She is supermarket obsessed.

maybe she suggested it so as not to impose?

I think it happens when you have children TBH. I had the best relationship ever with mine until DC's were born. Now it has gone a bit downhill though am trying to understand her a bit more. Do you think she is maybe trying to keep out of your way staying in camper van?

If anyone knows any tips on how to stop rising to it I would be so, so grateful. I snap at her, then feel like shit afterwards. DH, my Dad and brother have all developed a technique for phasing her out - a series of "mmm" noises but no actual conversation.

I need to master this, and soon.

My mother thinks all my ds's asd stems from the fact that I should never have had more than one child.
Apparently I am selfish, and that is why I have never had a daughter!

I wish wildwoman but tis not the case. This is the same woman who told me she was coming to stay for a week when the baby was born (told, not asked, she doesn't have a concept of imposing).

She's just barking mad. Originally she asked us if we would be building an extension for said baby. What with us having two spare rooms and virtually negative equity I pointed out it wasn't likely to happen.

Thus the detailed conversation as to the office/spare room.

And yes, I know she thought she was being helpful with the wanting to come for a week thing, and that her heart is in the right place.

She is forever inviting herself to stay though, it's not an imposition thing.

I htought I was the only one whose relationship with her mother deteriorated (badly) when DD was born. After a difficult XMAS '06, it has improved to be fair...yet...

DC2 on the way now. Mum is likely to be here for the birth this time.

SHE HAS JUST SAID FOR TEH SECOND TIME _ IF IT'S a DD, WILL YOU NAME IT AFTER ME?! Accompanied by big sigh. Thinks her name combined with MIL's, would be perfect.

I said no. I need to let it go. I can't. I'm furious.

P.S the campervan is 18 feet long and won't fit on our drive, she also knows this.

I will stop now, I'm being childish, her heart is in the right place.

Is she on her own?

Sorry to say Bang, but it is probably more about your feelings towards her than her actual behaviour. A bit like how your own newborn cries send you bonkers but other people's are sad but not heartbreaking.

I'm sure she drives you mad and her behaviour is sooo annoying to you but sounds a bit mildly barmy to me. COs she's not my mum

No, she lives with my Dad and my brother. She has a loooot of time on her hands though.

Do you think our children will be posting messages like this in twenty/thirty years?

I'm not taking you on a guilt trip honestly, I have my own mother "issues" My mum is incredibly needy and has spent years trying to keep me dependant on her. She may just be scared of how your relationship will change when the baby arrives.

I agree Slur. I know my reaction to her is not reasonable, because I should just be able to ignore the things she says, or take them with a pinch of salt.

I wonder when we got trapped into this cycle of arguing and rubbing each other up the wrong way.

What's that supposed to mean NicMac? The title says I know I'm in the wrong for having no patience with her.

Go and take your lofty snootiness out of someone who doesn't realise when they're in the wrong.

oh god me too.
My Mother annoys me and then I get annoyed with myself for letting her annoy me.
i make plans in my head to invite her to stay ( especially as DD loves her) but then I talk to her on the phone and relise I don't want to spend five minutes with her.
she was tolerable before my dad died but now...! And it isn't because she is alone as she got herself a boyfriend pretty quick after dad died.
Grrr.
Selfish, self absorbed and so about the money. She only comes to stay so that she can brag to my siblings about my house and stuff. Double grr.

There should be a club

Bang
Was she control freaky before or did the pregnancy kick start it?

Bang
Was she control freaky before or did the pregnancy kick start it?

Bang
Was she control freaky before or did the pregnancy kick start it?

That really was nasty - I said 'our' children meaning mine as well, as I had previously explained I feel lots of mother/daughter relationships change with the advent of children, not just yours.

She's always been like it Harriet, unfortunately.

She just doesn't listen, which makes it really hard to maintain a normal relationship with her. She talks all over people when they are talking. She totally misrepresents my life and the things I've said to the rest of my family because she'll ask me a question and not listen to the answer properly.

All of this is academic really, I just need to find a way to cope with her instead of reacting to her.

Sorry NicMac, have just realised you had already posted. Thought you were just another shit-stirrer who had wandered on with nothing constructive to say.

Truly am sorry