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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say most people....

159 replies

TinaTeaspoons · 16/07/2023 21:47

Have a long term health condition by the time they are 40?
DH has UC and RA both diagnosed within 2 years of each other in his thirties. He turned 38 yesterday and gone on a downward spiral despite both conditions being managed well. I think it was because at his party yesterday, he couldn't drink (due to his meds) or dance with the rest of us. Trying to make him feel better and see that many people have long term health concerns which may not be visible.

OP posts:
WhatTheFlipToDo · 16/07/2023 21:49

I don’t think so, no. Maybe 60+ but I don’t know many 40 year olds with long term health conditions.

KateyCuckoo · 16/07/2023 21:50

Not at all in my circle. In fact I can't think of anyone that does.

Unless you meant 60?

Changingplace · 16/07/2023 21:52

No, I don’t think it’s that usual at all.

I only know two people around 40 who have a long term health problem, one has a health issue she’s always had so I don’t think it’s what you’re asking, one has something fairly recently diagnosed.

Boomboom22 · 16/07/2023 21:53

More like 55 60 for most people but depends on class.

Thunderisntnicebythebeach · 16/07/2023 21:53

I just started my first ever medical issue worthy of pills at 52...high blood pressure..

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/07/2023 21:53

Not the case in my experience at all. Why would you think it is? You won’t make him feel better by lying to him.

Annaishere · 16/07/2023 21:54

I’m mid 30s and have had a severe sleep disorder all my life

LadyLolaRuben · 16/07/2023 21:55

Not my experience. Id say from 55-60

WellPlaced · 16/07/2023 21:55

Boomboom22 · 16/07/2023 21:53

More like 55 60 for most people but depends on class.

I’m interested as to why you think it depends on class?

Nothingbuttheglory · 16/07/2023 21:55

Developed hypothyroidism age 37. DH got arthritis in his 30s.

I suspect that lots of people have non-visibly-obvious conditions.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 16/07/2023 21:56

I’m 49 & nothing so far.

AuntMarch · 16/07/2023 21:57

I'm 38 soon. I'm fat and tired, but that's all.
Most of my friends are from school or older than me and based purely on our group, no I don't think it is the norm, and I'm not surprised it gets him down at such a young age. The "cheer up it happens to everyone" route is not a supportive one.

Comedycook · 16/07/2023 21:57

LadyLolaRuben · 16/07/2023 21:55

Not my experience. Id say from 55-60

Exactly this

GreenWheat · 16/07/2023 21:57

Not in my social and professional circles. Can't think of anyone that young who does. As a PP said though, it often partly depends on socio-economic background and lifestyle choices.

continentallentil · 16/07/2023 21:57

No. By 60 possibly.

Comedycook · 16/07/2023 21:58

WellPlaced · 16/07/2023 21:55

I’m interested as to why you think it depends on class?

Show quote history

It does. More affluent people generally have better health. That's not to say all middle/upper class people are healthy and all working class are unhealthy...but as an overall trend, wealth equals health.

thecatinthetwat · 16/07/2023 21:59

My oh started getting migraines if that counts but otherwise no. I don’t know anyone with a health condition at that age. It sucks op and I don’t think there’s any way around that.

continentallentil · 16/07/2023 21:59

WellPlaced · 16/07/2023 21:55

I’m interested as to why you think it depends on class?

Show quote history

Because the better off you are the better your health is.

Men in the poorest uk boroughs only have 54 years of good health (or something like that).

Annaishere · 16/07/2023 22:00

WellPlaced · 16/07/2023 21:55

I’m interested as to why you think it depends on class?

Show quote history

Grapes ?

Pebbles16 · 16/07/2023 22:01

I've had a chronic health condition since I was 24, but I am very much in the minority of the people I know (53 now). Just take the meds, bugger on and have to have an occasional procedure.

LeviJeanQueen · 16/07/2023 22:02

I wouldn’t have thought by 40, no. I don’t think comparing yourself to others ever helps though.

Hope he’s ok.

lljkk · 16/07/2023 22:03

I’m interested as to why you think it depends on class?

Not class, but rather deprivation/income. Poor people do have more health problems from a young age. So not a crazy thing to say.

I want to suggest to PP that they add mental illness to the list (depression, anxiety), also things that are quite treatable over the counter like hayfever, recurring UTIs, or that they have but cope with, gave up getting treatment for (like sciatica, mild asthma, etc.). If you add those types of conditions in, then > 50% by 40 sounds plausible.

I'm getting close to 60 & I think of myself as robustly healthy, but if I start listing all the on/off health issues I've had for possibly decades, and can sometimes flare up badly (last week it was my lower back)... it's a long list. Doctors would have me down has having nothing, I think of myself as having nothing. But reality...

Bananaspliff · 16/07/2023 22:04

Not in my experience, no. I’m 37 and play sports, my knees might ache a bit more afterwards than they used to but I’m otherwise absolutely fine, as are all my friends who are the same age.

Niftyswiftie · 16/07/2023 22:04

I don't know any

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 16/07/2023 22:04

Really? I'm in my early 70s and until
last year had no health problems. Then I found a breast lump. But it's been removed, I had radiotherapy and need to take oestrogen suppressants for 5 years and I feel good as new.