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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say most people....

159 replies

TinaTeaspoons · 16/07/2023 21:47

Have a long term health condition by the time they are 40?
DH has UC and RA both diagnosed within 2 years of each other in his thirties. He turned 38 yesterday and gone on a downward spiral despite both conditions being managed well. I think it was because at his party yesterday, he couldn't drink (due to his meds) or dance with the rest of us. Trying to make him feel better and see that many people have long term health concerns which may not be visible.

OP posts:
lemondust000 · 18/07/2023 18:33

Absolutely not! In their forties?! Most ppl? No. Many in their sixties. But not most in their forties

Qbish · 18/07/2023 18:53

Madrid67 · 17/07/2023 13:13

Sorry but most people don't have long term health conditions by the time they are 40 or even 60. I'm very sorry your partner has been so unfortunate but it's very unusual.

Not if you include mental health conditions.

Plenty of twenty and thirty something year olds I know are on antidepressants or anti-anxiety meds.

Qbish · 18/07/2023 18:55

lemondust000 · 18/07/2023 18:33

Absolutely not! In their forties?! Most ppl? No. Many in their sixties. But not most in their forties

Really? They're not on antidepressants, or anti-anxiety meds, or being treated for high blood pressure? You may not actually know what your friends are going through.

SweetSakura · 18/07/2023 18:58

Qbish · 18/07/2023 18:55

Really? They're not on antidepressants, or anti-anxiety meds, or being treated for high blood pressure? You may not actually know what your friends are going through.

Show quote history

Agreed, I havent told many people about my condition but of those I have told I have been surprised how many have then told me about their condition

LaPerduta · 18/07/2023 19:02

Ofcourseshecan · 18/07/2023 18:26

Is that what you meant, OP? I took it you were including congenital conditions, which may be diagnosed at birth but often aren’t until later.

Show quote history

Perhaps I misunderstood, but I thought the point of the thread was about people developing chronic conditions as they age. The OP asserted that it was common for that to start when people.are on their 40s but the consensus seems to be it's rather later than that. Obviously we're talking statistically.

PurpleButterflyWings · 18/07/2023 19:10

40? Confused

YABU. Maybe 52-55, not 40.

Fairislefandango · 18/07/2023 19:25

It's a fact that many health outcomes are statistically related to socio-economic factors, on a population level. That does not remotely mean 'If you have a health condition you must be lower class' or 'All people who are wealthy are healthy', or 'I don't want you in my social circle if you have a health condition '.

LaPerduta · 18/07/2023 19:31

I have every sympathy with people who have suffered from childhood with chronic conditions, but it gets a bit tedious when people take offence where clearly none is intended. It's like someone starting a discussion about buses running according to the timetable and someone else comes along and says, "My grandfather drove buses until he was 79 and died of a heart attack, so how dare you complain that the R4 to Orpington High Street sometimes arrives five minutes late! My grandmother was never the same again!"

LaPerduta · 18/07/2023 19:32

Fairislefandango · 18/07/2023 19:25

It's a fact that many health outcomes are statistically related to socio-economic factors, on a population level. That does not remotely mean 'If you have a health condition you must be lower class' or 'All people who are wealthy are healthy', or 'I don't want you in my social circle if you have a health condition '.

My point above applies equally to this.

Zanatdy · 18/07/2023 19:35

I’m 46 and only me from my group of close friends who has a serious health condition (pancreas disease). Others have had a blood clot / iron issues but the others (ironically the others all smokers) have nothing wrong. My older brother also has no serious health issues

Qbish · 18/07/2023 19:43

PurpleButterflyWings · 18/07/2023 19:10

40? Confused

YABU. Maybe 52-55, not 40.

Statistically, most people on this thread will know someone with Type I diabetes, or epilepsy. These conditions generally get diagnosed in childhood or teen years.

Do these conditions not count?!

SweetSakura · 18/07/2023 19:53

LaPerduta · 18/07/2023 19:31

I have every sympathy with people who have suffered from childhood with chronic conditions, but it gets a bit tedious when people take offence where clearly none is intended. It's like someone starting a discussion about buses running according to the timetable and someone else comes along and says, "My grandfather drove buses until he was 79 and died of a heart attack, so how dare you complain that the R4 to Orpington High Street sometimes arrives five minutes late! My grandmother was never the same again!"

Sorry but I disagree. The intent is irrelevant. And your example is ridiculous.

Healthy people don't get what to decide what is offensive to people with chronic conditions /disabilities any more than men get to decide what is offensive to women

FourTeaFallOut · 18/07/2023 20:21

I don't object to the question, or the answers, unless the they are phrased like:

40?! I don't know one solitary person in all of my social groups or any of my professional groups who have a long term health condition ...you must mean 60...some times I get a bit of a bad ankle when I play squash...oh, hang on, do you mean poor people? Poor people don't eat many vegetables and make "lifestyle choices" but I wouldn't know much about that.

FuppingEll · 18/07/2023 21:29

LaPerduta · 18/07/2023 19:31

I have every sympathy with people who have suffered from childhood with chronic conditions, but it gets a bit tedious when people take offence where clearly none is intended. It's like someone starting a discussion about buses running according to the timetable and someone else comes along and says, "My grandfather drove buses until he was 79 and died of a heart attack, so how dare you complain that the R4 to Orpington High Street sometimes arrives five minutes late! My grandmother was never the same again!"

No, it's absolutely not the same as people scoffing at the thought of having a chronic illness before they are 40.

RebelR · 18/07/2023 21:43

FuppingEll · 18/07/2023 21:29

No, it's absolutely not the same as people scoffing at the thought of having a chronic illness before they are 40.

Show quote history

Nobody said people don't have chronic illness young, the question asked if "most" do.

ToWhitToWhoo · 18/07/2023 23:19

As someone with chronic health issues since childhood: I don't find most of the comments on this thread hostile or sneery. I think people are perhaps being oversensitive here....BUT! BUT! BUT!!! I can understand how people become so, when during the pandemic, there were always horrible dismissive comments about how Covid was being taken too seriously, as most deaths from Covid were of people with underlying health conditions. 40% of the population have underlying health conditions FFS!

Comedycook · 19/07/2023 08:05

Fairislefandango · 18/07/2023 19:25

It's a fact that many health outcomes are statistically related to socio-economic factors, on a population level. That does not remotely mean 'If you have a health condition you must be lower class' or 'All people who are wealthy are healthy', or 'I don't want you in my social circle if you have a health condition '.

Yes exactly. It's a general population trend. There will always be outliers obviously

ChilliPB · 19/07/2023 08:08

I’m mid/late thirties and none of my friends or family in their 40s have long term conditions other than one who had a condition since birth (i.e it’s not age related). Most of my friends/family are very fit and active though so reduces the risk of lifestyle related conditions.

GetYourHandsOffMyCake · 19/07/2023 08:11

Boomboom22 · 16/07/2023 21:53

More like 55 60 for most people but depends on class.

What's class got to do with it? Things like Alzheimers, hypertension, Parkinson's, etc., strike people of any class.

GetYourHandsOffMyCake · 19/07/2023 08:12

I'm 64, and until 2 years ago, didn't take any tablets, was doing Zumba 4 times a week, and was quite fit.

Anyotherdude · 19/07/2023 08:17

Well, I don’t and I’m far North of 40. However, as the oldest member of my department at work, I’m the only one of nine people that’s not on daily meds…

JenniferBarkley · 19/07/2023 10:01

GetYourHandsOffMyCake · 19/07/2023 08:11

What's class got to do with it? Things like Alzheimers, hypertension, Parkinson's, etc., strike people of any class.

Show quote history

It is well established that health and socioeconomic class (and wealth) are linked.

That's not the same as saying that people are at fault for being ill, or that they are ill because they are working class. The reasons are complex - and work the other way too as many people with serious health conditions find it difficult to work to the full extent of people who are healthy.

Bananas1350 · 19/07/2023 11:09

@JenniferBarkley aorry I don’t agree. I have a shit ton of medical problems that cause me lots of problems but I still work. And I still work very hard.

Bananas1350 · 19/07/2023 11:10

I have also had private treatment and nhs treatment and both has been as awful as each other.

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