Thanks for all the messages, I didn't expect so many.
Apparently she's an excellent therapist and very highly regarded in her field. On a personal level, absolutely everyone loves her. She's calm and kind.
But it's like she doesn't realise me and her should be different or I never get priority billing. Her commitment to being fair, non judgemental, unbias, removed is paramount.
I remember chatting to two of her (also therapist) very good friends one day about something else and I said I was very worried. One of them shook their heads and said "it's so strange when she talks about you, as if you're a client" and then she shook her head obviously biting her tongue.
My dad (they broke up when I was young and never spoke again - it was awful for me) died a few years ago and she did not give me one word of comfort. Due to horrendous circumstances I couldn't go to him when he was dying - he didn't understand what was happening and thought I wasn't bothered to show up - and then I couldn't go to the funeral. I was fighting for my life myself. I watched the funeral online and so did she. Afterwards she kept chatting to me about the funeral, who was there etc like it was just some event we watched.
She always corrects me too when I receive a compliment about my parenting (well you have an easy child, supportive partner), my looks (yes but she needs to watch her weight/ her skin can flare up), my academic achievements (well her final results were disappointing) and I've noticed in therapy that I naturally do it myself all the time.
This is going to sound so shallow but it's just the most recent example. For decades I've been compared to this high profile celebrity, it's a running joke because so many random strangers have made the comparison. It's most definitely said as a compliment and many people nickname me by her first (distinctive) name. Once 15 years ago a woman told me I reminded her of an actress I didn't know in front of my mum who burst out laughing and said "she won't like that". We looked her up and it was not very flattering but whatever, I don't know if she meant looks or a character she played or whatever. Anyway my mum never drops this, this actress is much older, severe looking and tends to be cast in very severe roles.
Yesterday in my mum's she says "oh look who it is", my friend says "oh is it (hot actres)?" and my mum actually snorts and says "it's a long time since she has looked like her" then points to this actress who is playing a VERY dowdy character on the screen and starts excitedly telling the story. My friend just sat with a look of confusion and then said "there is literally no similarity between them".
I know the example I've given is all about looks but this extends into everything.
It's always suggested it's coming from a place of "well you know you're clever, popular, life is easy, goodlooking, you don't need to be told".
For the record I'm not especially any of those things but I'm grateful that I'm fairly fortunate if that makes sense. But I don't deserve to be punished or put down all the time.