Where do I stand with work - Autistic Burnout

[IAmADancer]

Hi all

im hoping for some advice as I have searched high and low on the internet for where I stand on this. I have also posted on other MN boards with no help.

I was diagnosed with autism in December and have made my current employer aware of this. We are currently in the middle of a very stressful merger at work and the pressure has been piled on top of me. I’m senior level and this week has been by far the worst week to the point I was crying every day.

Work is chaotic at the moment due to redundancies, lack of company structure or guidance and just a daily onslaught of work that has no structure or clear goals. I have an official report line but I am mainly working for someone else in the business and I’m not sure they have been made aware of my autism. I cannot deal with the mess and chaos, my brain can’t make sense if it all and I’m just shutting down. Home is suffering too as I can’t stand any noise, just my children talking makes me want to scream and hide. My poor husband is still getting his head round my diagnosis and is struggling to know what to do.

I feel like I’m drowning and I’m exhausted due to the constant masking. I am being asked to do things that I am very uncomfortable with and my stress and anxiety is at an all time high. I’m reaching burnout, which I’m frustrated about, as I have been trying really hard to put things in place to manage this as much as possible.

I don’t want to go into work tomorrow, just writing this and putting it on ‘paper’ is making me cry.

Where do I stand legally if I contact my HR team to explain I have hit autistic burnout? Will they let me have time off to reset or do I have no rights? I’m so lost as to what to do.

Anyone at all with experience of this?

Can you self certify as sick for the week? Take the week to have some quiet time and recover.

You are entitled to 'reasonable adjustments' under the Equality act as ASD is classed as a disability so is a protected characteristic. Someone with more knowledge will I'm sure post soon but I'd imagine you'd call in sick, get GP appointment and exain your anxious and need to be off work. When you return to work you will have a meeting when you explain reason for anxiety is burnout due to ASD and then work out the reasonable adjustments that will help. You could have more short breaks to move or get air, it could be your tasks are organised differently in a way you can more easily manage. Occupational Health are helpful with reasonable adjustments, you need to work through what's causing the burnout and what you need to be in place to best help you.

You have a disability which legally has to be taken into account if your company needed to manage any absence. You also have the right to ask for reasonable adjustments.

Sometimes it's tricky to know what to ask for though.

My advice would be to go off sick and self-certify in the short term and then look into asking for the adjustments that you need to look after yourself in the longer term. Autism charities may have helpful suggestions.

It's OK to look after yourself.

The burnout is caused from the sheer chaos of work. I need to have clarity around the work I’m given as otherwise I get confused and panic and it snowballs.

I have just had jobs thrown at me daily, I can’t keep track of everything and I don’t understand why I’m being asked to do what I’m doing. There is no clarity to any of it and I am working for someone in the organisation who is very tough. They aren’t the type of person you can go to and explain what’s happening. I dread every time my phone goes and it’s him for fear of being told I’m doing everything wrong.

I have had a huge amount of pressure put on me in a very short space of time. I’m being asked by multiple C-Suite staff to do multiple jobs and I’m caving under it.

@Dinopawus just reading your post has made me cry again, which just proves the point that I am not coping and am not looking after myself at all.

I am also aware of the impact it’s having on my family and how much I’m lashing out because I’m struggling so much with the mental overload and daily masking in all my meetings and interactions with people in the business

I'd ask to be signed off for a couple of weeks.

@QuestionableMouse i feel like such a failure being signed off. I know that sounds ridiculous but it’s so frustrating that my autism gets me to this point

good Advice above

Go to GP and get signed off sick with stress for a couple of weeks to give yourself a break. autism diagnosis aside, work sounds unreasonable and high stress - merger, multiple c-suite giving you tasks, lack of clear objectives and goals - which would send anyone over the edge. Time off with stress over that is totally reasonable.

Once you’ve rested, talk to your line manager (if that’s not the v tough unapproachable person). set out the problems with your role right now and discuss how make the situation more manageable. Would a change of role or area so you’re not working for v tough mgr be possible?

speak to HR (either before or after speaking to your LM). If you’re in a reasonable sized company they will be used to dealing with stress and burnout issues. If it’s a half decent company they will support you and help you find ways to make this work. make sure they know about your diagnosis. You are entitled to reasonable adjustments due to disability and it gives you extra protections should work decide to be unreasonable about it.

good luck and take care of yourself

ps: you are NOT a failure

If you are stressed to the point of not coping you need to see your gp tk ge signed off. Giving it a diagnosis of autism isn't really relevant to your employer, all they need to know if you are not coping, decent companies she gave some sick leave available

From what you've written I don't think it's an autism thing. Anyone would struggle under those circumstances!

You need to speak to your boss and explain the workload and chaos from the merger is not acceptable and unsustainable. Ask for all work requests to be put on writing so you can prioritise them.

If things don't improve then consider being signed off sick.

Everything has a breakibg point and you'll be a lot worse off if you hit yours! Stepping back for a breather and to figure out a workable plan isn't failure!

I think you need to get signed off sick for a bit, you sound really burned out! As mentioned above your HR department will need to look into making adjustments for you in order to get you back into work, they will need to do this under employment law around disabilities and reasonable adjustments.

Bear in mind that a reasonable adjustment is exactly that - if the job role actually requires any of those things that you say you cannot do then they may not be required to adjust it because they can't reasonably be expected to as it will change the role. Some employers will though, in those circumstances, find another role more suited to the person. So it's definitely worth broaching with HR once you've had some time off sick.

Good luck!

I'm so sorry you are feeling so low. FWIW I've been there with the burn out and it was only after I left (it was bad) that I realised how stupid and unrealistic my workload was. With hindsight, I'm angry about being put in that position. But it sounds like what you need right now is a life belt. Take it. And don't you dare feel guilty.

I was signed off earlier this year after experiencing a similar situation to yours. Please speak to your GP, take some time whether it’s weeks or months and as previous posters said identify the support you need - your diagnosis is still new and you may need time away from work to identify strategies and effective support-
I found it helped to assume that work would not change but I could change the things that I can control to support myself better and put my wellbeing as a priority. I hope you feel better 💐

You need a referral to occupational health.

I went through similar with major changes in the workplace and OH were incredibly helpful and helped me secure some adjustments that made a big difference.

Whether you take sick leave or not, get a referral to Occupational Health, self refer to Mental Health Access to Work and ask for a mental health risk assessment.

You could get someone to help organise you a few hours a week under Access to Work.

I had Access to work ( not for ASD) but it’s really helpful.

Dd is ASD, she wears headphones all the time to alleviate noise stress. Is this possible.

l think you need to go off sick. Burnout doesn’t just go away.

I've just gone off sick for similar reasons but I left it too late and now have physical health issues caused by stress too to contend with. Work sounds horrendous for you. See your GP and take some time off to reset before dealing with any work adjustments needed

Thanks all, sometimes when your in the middle of it all you can see a way out.

I have been holding in the meltdown for weeks now and with the thought of work tomorrow it’s all come crashing down.

Im going to email HR tomorrow and then make a plan from there.

Agree with PPs. Take some time off to address the burn out. Access any well-being schemes offered by company (if any).
You can ask work for a OH referral but doubt you'll referred unless you've had time off sick.
You will benefit with a Workplace Needs Assessment and, possibly, a stress risk assessment on return to work-discuss with HR and/or OH if referred.

https://exceptionalindividuals.com/candidates/workplace-needs-assessments/

^This is to explain what a Workplace Needs Assessment is. It is not a recommendation.

People without autism also get burnt out , and it sounds like you are at that stage, autism or not.
sign yourself off sick, go to your GP and tell him how you feel - they will most likely sign you off for a few weeks.

Agree. Get signed off, take a break. You need it. Most of us have been there at some stage, autistic or not. Rest, sleep, relax. Go to the beach or the forest. Go for a walk. Good luck OP

Just go sick. I don't have autism but just reading what work is like at the moment has stressed me out and I couldn't work like that! It's not fair your poor family have to watch you suffer either! Make an appointment with your GP and get signed off ASAP then contact HR and explain what you need going forward. Good luck and look after yourself ❤️