Where do I stand with work - Autistic Burnout

[IAmADancer]

Hi all

im hoping for some advice as I have searched high and low on the internet for where I stand on this. I have also posted on other MN boards with no help.

I was diagnosed with autism in December and have made my current employer aware of this. We are currently in the middle of a very stressful merger at work and the pressure has been piled on top of me. I’m senior level and this week has been by far the worst week to the point I was crying every day.

Work is chaotic at the moment due to redundancies, lack of company structure or guidance and just a daily onslaught of work that has no structure or clear goals. I have an official report line but I am mainly working for someone else in the business and I’m not sure they have been made aware of my autism. I cannot deal with the mess and chaos, my brain can’t make sense if it all and I’m just shutting down. Home is suffering too as I can’t stand any noise, just my children talking makes me want to scream and hide. My poor husband is still getting his head round my diagnosis and is struggling to know what to do.

I feel like I’m drowning and I’m exhausted due to the constant masking. I am being asked to do things that I am very uncomfortable with and my stress and anxiety is at an all time high. I’m reaching burnout, which I’m frustrated about, as I have been trying really hard to put things in place to manage this as much as possible.

I don’t want to go into work tomorrow, just writing this and putting it on ‘paper’ is making me cry.

Where do I stand legally if I contact my HR team to explain I have hit autistic burnout? Will they let me have time off to reset or do I have no rights? I’m so lost as to what to do.

Don’t self cert, go to gp and get signed off with a fit to work note.

if you have a union contact them

contact access to work for support

if your employer has an employee assistance line, make use of it

get a copy of your workplace stress policy, make sure they follow it

ensure you have a stress risk assessment on your return

ask for an occupational health referral too

and know that you are not alone. This is happening everywhere at the moment and it’s appalling.

It’s definitely affecting other members of staff. We have all been put in very difficult situations at work with no guarantee of keeping our jobs.

Thank you for all the resources you have sent me, I will spend some time looking at them today.

I agree with getting yourself signed off sick if you need to. Your health is the first priority.

Next step is to think about what reasonable adjustments you need your employer to make when you go back to work.

You say that you're in a relatively senior role, so dealing with a certain level of stress/uncertainty probably goes with the territory to some extent. Focus on specific adjustments that your employer could make that would help you to manage the demands of the role more effectively.

Ask for a stress risk assessment. Maybe ask for a referral to occupational health as well.

Can you get a workplace mentor?
We had a person at work with some struggles and they had a mentor from autism plus come in for a weekly chat, to offer support and strategies. There are other charities that offer work based support. Worth checking.
Hope you feel better soon.

Your gp can sign you off sick with stress until your work makes reasonable adjustments for your return.

When I first made them aware of my diagnosis I had a meeting with OH and they wrote a report with recommendations. Up until May those were followed but then the company has gone into a merger and it’s a complete and utter mess.

I sit at Head of level, and am currently working directly with C-Suite but they aren’t officially my line manager yet. Because of the merger all the reporting lines have become muddled and there is a severe lack of comms across the businesses and so I don’t think my original report and what has been recommended has been shared with the new teams im working with. Most of HR have quit through sheer frustration and so it’s very difficult to find anyone to speak with.

I work in a very male dominated industry, so having conversations about mental health, autism, stress etc etc is not really the done thing. It’s run by men for men, and to add to my stress there are alot of staff (male) who resent the role I’m in and feel it should be theirs.

I'm not sure making this about Autism will be helpful. It sounds like the situation at work could easily cause any employee to feel burnt out. I'd ask you GP to sign you off for a couple of weeks, and discuss the situation with your line manager and HR too.

You are entitled to reasonable adjustments throughout your work life in relation to the Autism, but this situation doesn't sound like it's about that.

If your company is going through a merger is there not a significant risk of redundancies? It sounds like you’re having a really tough time, but I’d have your eyes open to the fact that taking time off sick and requesting reasonable adjustments might have implications for how others perceive you and therefore your long term job security. Have you considered job hunting?

Seriously? Comments like this make you part of the problem.

It's not a failing to need time off to step back and deal with the crisis and how it is impacting you. This sounds poorly handled by work, this isn't solely a case of your needs with regard to autism (work needs to get itself together) BUT owing to your autism they definitely need an action plan to work with you here, rather than some 'we are all struggling' sort of response. To be frank, sorting out the response, clear responsibilities for who etc will benefit the whole environment. Socks need pulling up, perhaps raising it will be the trigger your work needs

I feel like I don’t have the words to adequately express what autistic burnout feels like, so will put this here as it explains it better.

Autistic burnout is a state of physical and mental fatigue, heightened stress, and diminished capacity to manage life skills, sensory input, and/or social interactions, which comes from years of being severely overtaxed by the strain of trying to live up to demands that are out of sync with our needs.’’

So, whilst what is happening at work is a stressor that is contributing to the ‘burnout’ it’s also the day to day of having to pass as NT when your are not. The overwhelming social interaction, not being given time to process requests, being called and messaged constantly, the sensory overload etc.

It’s not making it about autism, I am autistic and it’s hard because I don’t manage things in the way other people do or are able to. My autism is a contributor to what is happening it’s not a separate thing

I understand OP, and I recognise that you have a valid diagnosis, and that it is an important factor in your life.
I'm just saying that nothing you have expressed in your post suggests that the work issues are due to you having Autism. They sound like normal responses to the chaotic merger at work, and I don't think you need to frame these specific difficulties through any other lens. Work can be responsive to you feeling burnt out anyway, ASD or not.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to take a longer term view, and note that some of the short term solutions available might make the OP’s situation considerable more stressful in the future. By all means take sick
leave OP, but I think it would be naive not to use some of that time to find a new job that is better suited to your circumstances.

agree with this advice. Anyone could suffer burnout in your position, your autism may mean you meet this level sooner but maybe not... you need to take sick leave til you are in a better head space. Then consider long term whats best for you given your diagnosis. As you were diagnosed late in life and have a good job I'm guessing you are high functioning and probably very capable so your prospects are good, its just about getting the right fit and less chaos, more rigid and routine work.

I think you need to separate the 'autistic burnout' and the 'acute stress reaction'.

1. You may well be chronically burnt out, which is something that needs reasonable adjustments via HR.

1. However, you are currently suffering from an acute reaction to the stress that has suddenly been put upon you by the change in the organisation.

For the acute stress reaction, you may well need to take some time off work, but that would have to be by self-certification (first 7 calendar days) and/or a fit note (day 8 onwards).

Are you autistic?