To stop breastfeeding newborn ?

[Onedownonetogooo]

I want to start by saying I know all babies are different .

I was unable to fed dc (18 months ) I was devastated . However I realize I was able to let DH feed him , we could go out unplanned as I just took a bottle and my MIL was able to take DC out for the afternoon as she had a bottle . DC1 seemed very contented.

Dc2 is two weeks old and I can feed her ( yay!) but she seems to feed constantly. Very 30 mins . If she isn’t feeding she is mostly crying and won’t be settled . DH / MIL can’t settle her . So I take her and feed her .

Getting out of the house seems almost impossible as the she is always being fed . We have been out 3 times straight after a feed and she has slept around 45 mins then woken up crying so we have had to power walk home so she can feed. This is hard as I don’t want to be at home with an 18 month old and newborn . I would love to be walking and getting toddler out. I’m scared I’ll be stuck inside as i need to be in to feed ( not sure how I’d feed out with toddler !)

Also DH is now pretty much doing bath and bed times with toddler as I’m always feeding. I’m Scared I’ll lose my bond with toddler ( he is now always shouting for daddy !)

The baby has wet and soiled nappies and midwife said she is a good weight ( so appears to be feeding well ) it is just so so different from DS1. Im worried that Brest milk isn’t satisfying her .

I also feel alone in parenting baby as DH can’t really help with baba.

Please help me ?
AIBU to consider giving up breastfeeding???

Baby is only two weeks old and I’m sure I’m exhausted .

Everyone told me bf was magical and I was devastated when I couldn’t bf ds1 but in retrospect it was far easier . Or is it just this time my baby is different to dc1?

this sounds like normal early days of bf. I’d maybe consider trying a little longer, but it’s up to you. Bf gets easier over time. You also have a different baby this time plus you have a toddler so it will be very different.

I found bf much harder second time around with a toddler to look after too. Bf in the early days is a full time job and you basically need to be able to sit on the sofa uninterrupted to do it. I mixed fed with my second so she'd get some of the benefits of bf at least. Do whatever is best for you.

You can give up breastfeeding for any reason you want or none at all if that’s your choice, it’s totally up to you.

But this is a normal amount of feeding for a 2 week old, they do want to feed all the time until about 6-8 weeks, and sometimes longer. Look up cluster feeding, that might help. They’re building up your supply, and also growing really rapidly. Being at the breast is also soothing for them, they feel safe, it’s not just about food. If baby is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies and is growing, they’re getting enough.

Why did you feel you needed to power walk home to feed baby? You could have sat anywhere, I’ve sat on people’s garden walls if need be 😂 I have a 6mo who’s EBF and a 2.5 year old, and we’ve always been out and about. I’ll feed anywhere! Learning to feed the baby in a carrier whilst walking around is a game changer though, and makes it much easier to chase toddler as well. It does take a bit of practice though and gets easier as baby gets stronger. As you get more confident it will get easier to feed out and about I promise. And as you get more confident breastfeeding it’ll be easier out and about than having to worry about bottles.

On DH helping, he can do so much with your toddler, it’ll be hard sometimes but you won’t lose the bond I promise. He can also do more round the house, and change babies nappies and clothes. Feeding is such a small thing all things considered. It’ll be hard for you all while you adjust, you’ll get there I promise. Be kind to yourself!

Learning to feed with baby in a sling would help you get out and about. It all sounds normal. It does feel constant and hard work for a few weeks, then it gets easier. You could always consider expressing in a few weeks time and getting someone else to feed the baby so you can spend time with the toddler.

Its normal newborn behaviour, breast milk is much more rapidly digested than formula. You need to learn how to feed out and about so you don’t have to rush home, I used to walk around forests etc with my older toddler whilst bf newborn DS. It should settle over the next month or so, but no shame in switching to formula if it’s your preference.

I’ve bred all four of mine from
newborn to 18 months and this is literally what breastfeeding is like at the beginning.

They feed all the time, it’s exhausting, and your DH has to do most of the toddler stuff. I liked it! I didn’t want to leave them when they were very small babies and just sitting watching Netflix and having a break from toddler bedtimes/cooking/laundry for a few weeks was great. But it quickly gets more manageable around the 6 week mark and they start to go longer, although obviously they occasionally have growth spurts where they’ll start feeding like a newborn again.

Practical tips: feed a couple of times on one side before switching (or try and get 30 mins out of one boob before switching). This ensures they get the fattier milk at the end which helps them stay fuller longer.

You can read, draw, chat and watch tv with your toddler even when feeding. It takes practise though.

With a good sling I actually managed to walk the dog, push toddler in buggy and breastfeed at the same time..! Again takes practice.

I think breastfeeding has been worth it for me simply due to the immunity benefits and weight loss(mine). But, if you don’t like it and it’s ruining your time with your baby, then it’s definitely not worth it.

I found breastfeeding hard and time consuming for around a month and then very easy and convenient. Of course stop if you want but if you give it a few weeks and it will likely feel much easier. You and the baby will get better at it too so you don’t consciously have to think about the latch or position and can do it discreetly out and about. Could you feed baby whilst reading story to your eldest at bedtime? That’s what I used to do.

Writing this as feeding my 4 week old whilst my 24mo plays. Feeding is much more demanding this time. There are lots of growth spurts in the first few weeks, I’d literally feed for hours at a time. Something that’s helped is a carrier as it stops baby sucking for comfort but still get your smell and warmth and you can get other stuff done. But getting out may be about mindset, I go out every day to let my toddler burn energy.

I'm going to be honest. I bf both my kids until 2.5 I just finished weaning my 2.5 yr old now.

It never got any easier. Both fed every 45 minutes until around 9 months: day and night. No issues either. Always gaining weight. No problems at all just hungry babies.

If you're someone who likes a break and some respite I wouldn't bother continuing and it be easier to stop now then in 6 weeks time

At the 6 week mark I found it for incredibly intense with cluster feeding for 3-6 hours every evening.

This is the truth.

After 5 years of this I won't be breastfeeding my third

The first question is do you WANT to BF.

If yes they you are in very early days and it WILL get easier, I promise. You'll learn to feed outside, while carrying baby, while lying down etc...
Babies nurse a lot at first as that's how they build your supply.

They may also be comfort nursing.

So long as you have wet and dirty nappies they are getting enough.

And your husband can deal with output if you take care of input 😁

I wasn’t able to bf ds1 and I was also devastated (at the time). Similarly to you I also had an 18 month age gap between him and ds2. I’d made my peace with bottle feeding by this point and decided that with such a small gap I’d prefer to bottle feed again instead of trying to get to grips with bf for the first time.

It worked really well for us as it meant I could share night feeds with my husband, baby fell into a 3-4 hour feeding pattern during the day really quickly so I could feed him in 10 mins and then carry on with whatever I was doing. He needed to be held constantly so I just kept him in a stretchy carrier and he was happy and I wasn’t tied to feeding on the sofa all day.

I had a longer gap between him and dd but I also chose to bottle feed her. I just prefer it and it suits me and my family’s needs.

If you want to breastfeed by all means carry on and I’m sure plenty of people here will be able to give you advice but if you don’t then you can stop. 18 month gaps are hard going!

Thanks everyone ! I feel so much better reading these . I know I do want to keep going with the breastfeeding . I need to get more confident with her with ( specifically her latching on ) and then just accept I’ll need to breastfeed out. I’ve always worn dressed but think leggings and t shirt will help when out to breast feed and I can always use a scarf. I know toddler will sit in pram while I feed if I have snacks !!!!
Also , I just ordered a carrier. I never used the one I was given when I had dc1 as I had suffered with a back back during pregnancy and it was so fiddly- but think a carrier could be a really help this time around . I’m still tired after a c section and new baby . I will get there and if I still can’t get on with b after 3/4 months then I’ll know I’ve tried my hardest and move to bottle. Xxx

It's totally normal for bfing. Why not do some reading around how bf works so you know what your body is doing?

If you can afford it, treat yourself to some pretty shirts and shirt dresses that button open you can easily breastfeed in while out. Sainsburys has lots of nice ones. This made me actually look forward to going out and feeding my dd. Like a pp said, I've fed everywhere - garden walls, cafes, nice restaurants, bus stop benches etc. I did this for over two years and I only remember one odd look, on a train as it happens. Feeding in a carrier is a handy trick but personally I couldn't do this for a few months after my c section, I found the carrier too uncomfortable. By all means take a scarf but you'll stop using it after a few days, no one cares if they see a brief boob. Mums are so invisible (usually I think this is a feminist outrage but it's kind of handy when you want to feed in peace!)

This comment is terribly unhelpful. OP is asking for support and advice, and has received some good tips on this thread. This is no way to support a breastfeeding mum asking for help, you should be ashamed.

It’s normal as PPs are saying.

There’s no problem switching to formula if that suits you better.

Stop if you want to

But your midwife is correct. The baby has wet and soiled nappies and midwife said she is a good weight ( so appears to be feeding well )

It doesn't have to be all of nothing. What about DH giving a bottle so you can have a break?

This is just cluster feeding, it will settle down.

If you want to breastfeed, just aim to survive a couple more weeks of this and then it will be easier.

This is such an unhelpful, unpleasant and untruthful post.

Motherhood is more than feeding, the OP needs to chose the method of feeding than allows her to mother to the best of her ability.

Whatever your problem is @YouLemonBrenda I’d suggest you find a healthier way to work through it than picking on someone who is vulnerable.

That sounds completely normal. But why do you need to go home to feed her?

I fed DS wherever I went, cafes, bars, friends' houses, parks, in the car, between cornfields on the Ridgeway. That's the great things about bf, always available and no faffing with bottles. Just keep a shawl to drape so you don't feel exposed, and enjoy the summer. 🙂

Sounds like cluster feeding which is entirely normal but it is very difficult. The first 6-8 weeks are the hardest. You’ll get more comfortable with feeding whilst you’re out as time goes on. Don’t be too hard on yourself it’s still very early days.

this all sounds very normal, that doesn't mean it isn't hard though OP. ❤️

This is a really useful website:
thebreastfeedingcompanion.com/

Re being out and about, feed wherever you are comfortable. you could try feeding while standing, or sitting cross-legged on the floor, in the car, in a cafe, baby toddler group. Soon your newborn won't feed as often or for as long, and bf can make life so much easier being out and about.

You may also want to try to learn how to feed in a sling, if you have a local sling group that could be useful. or there are videos on YouTube. I used a ring sling.

I have 2, and this time last year I had a 2.5 yo and newborn.

also I wore (and still do!) high waisted bottoms and a baggy crop top, makes it very easy to bf.