To use tv to help with my baby?

[tvtvt]

Please be kind with responses. I am a lone parent with infrequent family support. We go out most days and when I’m not exhausted I will avoid tv apart from 30 mins in the morning while I eat breakfast and baby plays with it on in the background as it’s a distraction/keeps him calm with the toys.

He’s now almost 9 months and I am feeling exhausted with how full on the days are. He will start nursery in 8 weeks. I’ve started putting on kids tv for him just to get 20 mins here and there. I know I should be reading to him instead etc. We go out most days but I am starting to find it very tiring now with no break. In the last week we’ve had ‘baby tv’ on around three lots of 20 mins a day. My question is how damaging will this be? Is it ok? I honestly think I will have to bring nursery forward if this is massively damaging (which I could afford to do if needed), as I can’t do this alone day in day out anymore. I want to do the right thing but I can’t explain how intense it is without a break which I’ve not had since he was born, apart from an hour when I had a dental appointment!

There will be a flurry of people saying how awful it is. I’m not one of them. An hour of tv spread across the day will not cause your baby any harm whatsoever, and if it gives you a well-earned break to get other stuff done (or have a quiet undisturbed coffee) then it benefits you both x

Lol! Carry on op I was all like this with my 1st! Now the tv is permanently on Disney plus I don’t get the big worry with screen time on the tv however I absolutely hate tablets as that what I find really impacts kids!

Kids will happily walk away from the tv and do what’s asked…tablets on the other hand different ball game IME.

Three lots of 20 mins sounds fine OP. You are right to try to keep it as low as possible, but there's a balance, you need a break too!

Should also say my kids had tv on around them from when they were little and they seem to be developing without any issues (14 yr old on scholarship scheme and 8 yr old entirely within expected levels)

My 17 month old still isn't in to TV yet sadly 😆

Well my 14 month old is just watching Paddington while I have a cuppa so that's what camp I'm in.

I mean, I wouldn't do this, I would worry about it. But there are a lot of people who do, so you're not alone.

Have you explored other ways to busy your baby whilst you have some me time?

What about naps, will they be put down for a nap yet?

Are you going to some baby groups so you can speak to other adults during the day?

My DD contact napped for a long time and had false starts every night, which I always dealt with, so although I am not a single parents, I get how relentless it can be.

It won't harm him in 20 mins bursts but you may find he gets very quickly more demanding and cross when it's turned off. Can you source a playpen or use a travel cot as one..pop him in there with some toys and just be in another room for few minutes? How's his sleep? Does he nap? Maybe up the physical activity, swimming is great, then he'll go down for a decent stretch to give you a break? I'm absolutely not going to demonise you but as a SP to older kids who do spend waaay to much time on screens now, I do wish I'd taken a different approach earlier.

@BibbleandSqwauk i have always said I would never get a tablet but now I’m not so sure! Haha. He sort of half watches it and half doesn’t. I just find it helps to have the background noise. It’s just impossible to constantly be out of the house and doing things. A playpen is a good idea.

It's totally fine..if he had siblings he would be watching way more tv..stick to cbeebies and all will be well.

I remember reading that the background noise isn't helpful when they're learning to talk etc as is a constant distraction to them.

Relax 😁 it's not going to damage him at all. Certainly not to the extent that you need to put him in nursery!

Babies don't need 110% focused enriching perfect attention from parents at all times. Step away from parenting Instagram and chill, this kind of intense over parenting will put you into burnout, which is really not good for either of you.

Balance is key. It's important to prioritise your needs and wants sometimes too. You don't need to aim for perfectionism.

My TV is on all day every day pretty much, it’s acts as background noise usually, but they do stop playing occasionally and sit and watch for 5 minutes here and there.. then they’re back off playing.

I always swore I wouldn’t be a screen time parent.. but I am and I’m glad because my DD was a lockdown baby and I watch her learn so much from the kindle. I was absolutely amazed. Now I love screen time 😂

Read some Janet Lansbury about how babies don't need entertaining, it's wonderfully freeing.

Honestly relax. An hour of TV split across the day when baby is otherwise engaged is definitely no issue.

I don't think these short bursts are of any concern at all

The damage is done when TV and radio is permanently on in the background, and impairs the child's understanding of the give and take of speech.

The guidance, based on research on language development, is roughly 30-60 minutes a day, but you are talking about only a couple of weeks in a childs life anyway, so I would think it is fine to go over that in the short term, and you are obviously interacting hugely in between

Mickey Mouse clubhouse is the only reason we all survived! I could put it on and have time to shower/dress/ feel human. Mine are now 23 and 15 and perfectly functioning humans. Do what you need :)

Here here. Plus if your baby had an older sibling the tv would be on when your baby was around. Well done on solo parenting OP, it's a slog and it's often "whatever works".

Did nobody else's parents constantly have TV on when they were young?

Mine did (80s baby) and all my friends as well 🤣

I agree - if it works keep doing it - you can’t mentally parent without a rest break - no other job is 24/7 without a tea break or holiday/sick day.

This has shown to interfere with language development, and I expect if you think about it, you will be able to identify several in your generation who have grown up not particularly articulate

I got really worried about this as mines always on in background but I noticed that he doesn't even pay that much attention to it. Literally just looks at the screen for 1 second then goes back to playing with toys. I don't think it's as bad as people make out, as many others here have said, if he had siblings it would be on constant anyway. Don't worry about it, I applaud you doing it alone in itself, you don't need to beat yourself up about something so small 😊

Just because they have siblings doesn't necessarily mean the TV will be on constantly though! I agree it's on more than when I just had one, but I still can't help that guilt feeling and do limit it.

Everyone's did and before that, the radio. I've never seen the worry about giving screen time in RL that I have on here. My eldest is 38, none of my children's peers have been damaged in any way by screen time and later gaming.

I think the main issue with constant TV is the potential for them to be missing out on other things they could be doing. That's what I worry about more - they are missing out on other physical/mental stimulation when they are sat watching it (I turn it off if they stop being interested and go off to play something else).