To use tv to help with my baby?

[tvtvt]

Please be kind with responses. I am a lone parent with infrequent family support. We go out most days and when I’m not exhausted I will avoid tv apart from 30 mins in the morning while I eat breakfast and baby plays with it on in the background as it’s a distraction/keeps him calm with the toys.

He’s now almost 9 months and I am feeling exhausted with how full on the days are. He will start nursery in 8 weeks. I’ve started putting on kids tv for him just to get 20 mins here and there. I know I should be reading to him instead etc. We go out most days but I am starting to find it very tiring now with no break. In the last week we’ve had ‘baby tv’ on around three lots of 20 mins a day. My question is how damaging will this be? Is it ok? I honestly think I will have to bring nursery forward if this is massively damaging (which I could afford to do if needed), as I can’t do this alone day in day out anymore. I want to do the right thing but I can’t explain how intense it is without a break which I’ve not had since he was born, apart from an hour when I had a dental appointment!

Sorry pumpkinbumpkin, didn't mean constantly just meant more so

No worse than any other generation no.

I'm not saying do it that way but I think the hysteria is too much.

Although that being said its only on mumsnet I see people going on about it all the time.

Regularly have TV on here, single parent too.
I wouldn't worry about it. But also, kindly, you don't need validation from anyone. I'm sure you're doing great and a tired mam is worse than TV (I should know)

Exactly.

My dc likes it on for background noise too.

And actually it teaches them.

It's not all doom and gloom. They're currently obsessed with killer whales so we're watching tons of sea life documentaries at the moment, they are still fascinated about octopuses' hearts.

This has shown to interfere with language development, and I expect if you think about it, you will be able to identify several in your generation who have grown up not particularly articulate

I think you’ll find some people are not particularly articulate across the whole of society, regardless of tv use. Most of my peers would have grown up in homes where it seemed like the tv didn’t have an “off” switch, as did I. There’s was little in the way of children’s tv so if it was on it would likely be showing adult programmes from dawn til dusk - they’ve grown into adults with the usual mix of very confident, articulate adults and those who are less so, across a spectrum.

It’s funny how research always comes down to parents (and let’s be honest, usually mums) needing to do more, be more engaged, do more activities with their kids. To where we have a single mum worrying her child might be harmed by her getting a much needed breather.

The OP is talking about an hour of tv split across a day - I just hope she’s using those 20 breaks to get a hot cup of tea and rest her mind for a bit.

Totally agree @Curtains70

TV was always on in the background too

👏🏽 love this

Isn't it fascinating how we're able to link such guidance with misogyny? Must be our speech difficulties...

YABU. He shouldn’t be watching tv at all at this age; he’s far too young and yes it will be reshaping his brain.

You don’t need to be constantly entertaining him. If you hadn’t started him with tv he would have been content to lay on a playmat/bouncer/swing and just watch you do stuff while you talk to him.

Reshaping his brain.

Do you have evidence to back this up?

Absolutely fine. At that age I stuck mine in the playpen with In the Night Garden every afternoon so I could get stuff done. Mostly he watched it avidly, sometimes he preferred whatever toys I'd chucked in there with him. He's now a bright 4 year old, no harm done.

Then when he was 13 months we went into lockdown and Cbeebies went on so we could work, and hasn't really been switched off since 😂

I was a lone parent with very little family support too, if me and DD were at home the TV was on 🤷‍♀️ I needed the background noise or I would have gone insane. Sometimes it was cbeebies and things sometimes it was my TV like Saturday kitchen or whatever was on. DD hardly watched it tbf, she would watch for 5 minutes if something caught her eye but on the whole she pottered round with her toys and stuff.

She is 6 now, she is kind funny and exceeding expectations in school. She doesn't have unhealthy relationship with TV and is more likely to go play outside or in her room than watch TV and I have no limits on TV time.

Give yourself a break 🙂

Well maybe he shouldn't have a swing because that can hinder his development because he is spending too much time contained. Or what if he falls asleep in it, risk of sids then.

He shouldn't have a bouncer because it's bad for his hips.

Blah blah fucking blah.

Dont feel bad, I WFH for a few hours a day and I have the TV on for my 1 year old so I can get some emails done. We have hours with no TV or just music, but sometimes its on all day. She sometimes will zone in and watch it but most of the time she is just playing. Don’t feel guilty, it sounds like you are doing the best you can x

I'm quite strict on screen time, ours are 5 and 3 and don't get TV Monday-Friday (because they're out all day...), pretty much just cbeebies at the weekend and no tablets except on a flight.

But Christ the TV was never off during my maternity leaves, you need to get through the day.

If the baby is watching it, try cbeebies, it's all very lovely and doesn't seem as addictive as something like Cocomelon. If the baby is just glancing and it's more because you need background noise - ditch the baby TV and put on something you want! Mine watched all sorts as babies - Frasier, Mad Men, Desperate Housewives, Greys, whatever I was watching.

Please be kinder to yourself - I found it tough enough with a supportive partner.

Your biasing your own research, because you are aware of the participants views prior to issues.

Hi OP, we have the TV on quite a lot (Cbeebies, Disney)...at first I was concerned I had it on too much but when I think about it, we go out snd about a lot to play groups, walks, swimming etc, so it's just balancing it all really!
If I didn't out the tv on I wouldn't always be able to get jobs done around the house etc. When I think of what my friends and family members have done, TV hasn't had a negative effect!
Honestly, don't overthink it! Needs must sometimes!!

We have tv time in our house but were initially a bit worried. A nanny friend of mine advised suggested fitting it into the routine and sticking to what is on “live” rather than letting them pick what they want on demand so it’s like how it was when we were younger. It gives me half an hour in the morning to get things done and half an hour in the evening pre-bath to get organised for bedtime routine and has been a god send!! DH is a massive rugby fan so there will always be rugby on the TV at the weekend if we are home. The deal is he can watch his sport if he does it with DS 😁. It’s turned into a lovely bonding time for them and gives me “time off” over the weekend for a long walk with the dog.

A lot of the studies around TV exposure and small children involve very high levels of long and consistent TV exposure. I think the last I read was looking at minimum 4hrs a day of TV watching every day. So I think its important to identify the amount of time spent watching in the study rather than just specifying the findings. Op, my ds would watch small amounts of TV when I have to get something else done. Never more than 20 minutes and always something that involves an actual person on the screen rather than cartoons.

Do whatever you have to do to get through the day

All mine grew up with TV. They're all highly intelligent successful well rounded adults. Just relax and do it.