To have handled the mobile phone of someone I only just met?

[PoshPineapple]

Met a group of friends for lunch yesterday and one of the friends had her cousin with her, whom I have never previously met. She had been to Glastonbury and had a really good view of the stage when Elton John was performing and said she had some great pictures. She showed them to the people sitting on either side of her and I asked if I could have a look. She was sitting opposite me and held her phone in front of me, but as I'm blind as the proverbial and without thinking I took the phone off her to look at the photo on the screen.

This morning, I had a text from my friend and in the middle of the text she casually mentioned that her cousin was really pissed off that I tried to take her phone off her and that she saw it as an invasion of her privacy.

Was IBU to say that if she is that precious over her phone, she shouldn't be waving it around to show people stuff on it. I also said I assumed she was holding it out for me to take - but my friend said she sort of agreed I was a bit presumptuous to just take it, especially as I didn't know her.

I really couldn't give a flying twat if the cousin has got the hump with me, I care slightly more that my friend agrees with her, so it's got me thinking....is what I did generally regarded as preposterous behaviour or did I just get unlucky? It crossed my mind it might have been a hand hygiene concern, but she hugged everyone when introduced to them, so I doubt it.

YABU - get your filthy mitts off my phone
YANBU - fine with me!

God how pathetic ! A nothing drama over zero ! What sad little lives they have.

I cannot see things and always need a phone about a foot away from my face to focus and would do exactly the same as you ! 😂

Is that an actual etiquette thing or did you just make it up?

YANBU - you asked to see them FFS
I don't have any significant visual impairment (not esp strong reading glasses) and can rarely see photos on a phone held in front of me by someone else - they rarely gauge the angle right.

For that matter, if its sunny, I can hardly see them on a phone I'm holding.

Even if it was something I was generally unhappy with, I'd make an exception for someone with a visual impairment.

if I held my phone out for someone on the other side of the table to look at the pic on the screen I would think it were normal for them to take it, look at the picture, passing it back whilst commenting.
Everyone would be able to see if you took it, scrolled through, or looked at their messages etc.

Crazy! I had the same scenario at lunch yesterday, and as it was a large table, we were all passing our phones round to look at photos. No problem or drama whatsoever! She sounds batshit.

Or maybe she has something to hide...!

Just made it up!

what a whole load about absolutely nothing!

@Pandor Have we reached a point where people feel so physically inseparable from their phones that even someone else holding it to look at a photo they are being shown causes anguish?

It’s pretty obvious that it’s not the physical act of touching the phone because she can’t be separated from it but people have all manner of private photos and conversations on their phone.
Some people think an invitation to look at one photo gives them the right to scroll through whatever they want.

*Have we reached a point where people feel so physically inseparable from their phones that even someone else holding it to look at a photo they are being shown causes anguish?

I think that is the point I’d take a serious look at my relationship with the little black mirror!*

Phones are expensive, might it be that she just didn't want to risk someone else handling it?

I feel uncomfortable when other people hold my phone in case messages come in or they see I’ve been Googling embarrassing ailments. To be honest I always assumed I was being uptight so I’ve never said anything.

😂

She's being entirely ridiculous.

God help her if someone offers to use her phone to take a group photo for her!!

Yup

I think she's made a fuss unnecessarily, however... I do think there's a social unspoken rule about not taking someone elses phone without asking, like it's an extension of yourself and therefore off limits to touch without permission!

There really isn't.
If someone wants you to see something on a screen, then it is quite common to have to hold it at the right arm length for you, or so that the light isn't shining on it / you can see through the glare.
If you have some kind of phobia about someone else touching your phone, then don't try to show them things on it.

She could just say no. OP didn't give that choice.

Tbh, i hate it when people do it to me. All seems rather dramatic though!

I swear some people just like to make a fuss of absolutely nothing.

It's obvious you just wanted to take a closer look at what she was already showing everyone. You clearly weren't looking for her bank details or only fans page... or were you 👀😂

Yes but she didn't actually show OP. OP asked to look and THEN took the phone.

Maybe she didn't really want to even show OP in the first place.

I wouldn't grab the phone of someone I didn't know. But equally I wouldn't raise it and make a big drama.

@Deathbyfluffy the cousin didn't even want to show OP the photo. OP had to ask to see it in the first place. Sometimes you need to read the room.

She's ott but it was rude to take her phone.

I think it probably less of a hand hygiene concern and more of a privacy concern. I don’t like other people handling mine when I’m showing photos, I like to be in control of what I show

It’s quite easy to accidentally swipe onto other photos if you’re handing your phone to someone. So no, I wouldn’t want someone I’ve just met that evening taking my phone and accidentally swiping through my photos or knocking the photo app off.

The woman was showing the two people either side of her, where she can control her phone. OP has then asked to see the photos, she wasn’t offered. OP then took the phone. So OP has asked to see someone’s phone that she’s never met before and then taken it from their hand. Yes, I’d think you were a bit presumptuous and not be happy either. The woman isn’t being precious. Can we stop saying people are precious when they are actually asserting boundaries?

You took her phone out of her hand? Even if she were your best friend, that's rude as fuck.

this is insane. You shouldn’t feel bad.

@Clymene

Read the post. She reached across the table with it straight in front of me, I bet many people would assume, albeit incorrectly, that she was offering the phone?