To think we need an antidote after the "What is going on with British kids?" was one of the nastiest ones on here for ages

[Poolnoodlepoodle]

The "What is going on with British kids?" thread is full (thank god). I read the whole thing which I know was silly when it was pissing me off but there we are.

It was full of a lot of judgemental posts about families who (gasp) don't eat at the table which somehow morphed into a pretty shocking discussion on families with ND children.

So please can we have a thread of lovely stories about kids and families being nice to others? An antidote, a bit of positivity.

I'll start, there's a little girl in my dd's class who is blind and in a wheelchair (she can crawl a bit). At the last all class birthday party a group of the kids helped her into the bouncy castle slide thing, they'd learned to tap the floor so she knew where to go, they helped her climb up and slide down and made sure she was included in all the games (pass the parcel / musical statues etc.) It was so lovely to see how they made sure she wasn't left out. My heart grew a little bit ❤️.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4848532-what-is-going-on-with-british-kids?page=40&reply=127648284 Link to other thread in case you're interested. I meant to delete the second bit of the title. Oh well!

I agree with you OP. Such snobbery!
The children we meet out & about in our hometown are lovely kids. Your DC sounds delightful!

One thing I really noticed about DD1's nursery and friends is that the boys and the girls play with each other really naturally - when I was a kid, even by her age (4 ), it was 'weird' to have friends of the opposite sex and my male best friend was always referred to as my 'boyfriend'. Nowadays, I see DD running around, holding hands with and hugging boys and girls in such an unselfconscious way, and I love it. I love the move away from basically sexualising children's relationships with each other.

I have noticed that too @MagicClawHasNoChildren my kids have friends of both sexes, certainly didn't happen when I was at school, apart from my one gay friend ha.

^ same, I have all boys and they have very strong friendships with girls. On the rare occasion some twit makes it a boyfriend/girlfriend thing (looking at you, mum!) it really puts my back up.

My kids eat very well and behave nicely in restaurants, but they also do things like look at the floor and mumble or don’t respond well when an adult speaks to them. They’re just kids!! All anyone can do is try their best, and cultural differences will always be a thing, the idea that any of it is better or worse is ridiculous.

There was a thread recently about rudest countries/places to visit and Paris topped the list (not actually my personal experience tbf) and then there’s a thread about French kids being so fantastic…. Well maybe the two are linked, who knows? It’s the stuff for an anthropologist to work out, we don’t know what behaviour in kids is really desirable for a well adjusted (and not rude) adult 🤷‍♀️

There's a girl in DD7's class who really struggles being away from her Mum. In the mornings, drop off can be upsetting for her. A number of the girls including my DD rally around her each morning to take her into the classroom when the doors open.

Both DC are in Scout groups. A large number of the Explorers (older Scouts) give up their evenings to help run Beavers / Cubs / Scouts.

At sports day recently, the children who were the slowest in the events were cheered the loudest by the rest of the kids.

Ds6 is ND and currently waiting for referral. His school have been amazing. He gets social stories to help him manage changes at school, a box of fidget toys to calm him down after a meltdown, extra support during tests, and I recently learned his teacher was giving up half her lunch break to take him down to the canteen and then bring his lunch back to the classroom because the canteen was too loud for him (I've switched him to packed lunch now). In dds class there is a boy that comes to school in pink socks and sparkly jacket, kids that stim, children that have meltdowns for various reasons, and children from chaotic homes. All are given extra support and accepted for who they are without any of the bullying or teasing that would have happened in my day. This a bog standard primary in a deprived area.

I don't expect my children to sit quietly through a 3 course meal because they are fucking children. They want to run and play and explore, not sit like mini adults nodding politely for hours. My son has meltdowns in public and no one stares at us. I'm very grateful we live in a country that offers support for families with ND children.

YANBU OP. There were a lot of people fetishising foreign children through very rose tinted glasses on that other thread.

I have one that's not as awe-inspiring as the OP. My toddler was crying and her older brother gave her his favourite toy car to help her feel better.

I agree it was a weird thread, there’s some real simpering that goes on about European countries on MN and I have no idea why as I don’t see anything better WRT children elsewhere.

I have to say I’ve never been on holiday and seen ‘embarrassing British children’ as others claim. I’ve seen adults with tattoos day drinking but I’m not a classist arsehole do I don’t pearl clutch at this. I think compared to a lot of other couple tires Brits are very polite, considerate, helpful and non-judgmental.

Some lovely stories I love the one about the kids helping the upset little girl into the classroom.

@TheBig4O I agree primary school seems to be a much more lovely place than it was in the 90s hurrah for that!

There are several teens in my road. Every single one does voluntary work and not for the DofE - just because.

Used to teach secondary. I promise you, 95% of them are genuinely lovely kids who are caring, kind and considerate.

The 5% who aren't have been there since time immemorial, with poor parenting, etc etc.

But yes, most kids are indeed awesome and far more tolerant and lovely than kids were when I was small.

Oh thank goodness I didn’t read more
than a few posts on that thread.

At Easter time my daughter age 6 participated in an egg decorating competition. Hers was really good and all of her friends loved it and said they thought it was the best. She tried really hard to make her model look good.

She wasn’t picked as the winner but her teacher pulled me up at the end of the day to say how impressed she was with her attitude. Daughter approached the teacher and said she was really happy her classmate had won because he looked really happy and proud

Yes the teens in my town are lovely. They do hang around the park because there’s nowhere else to go but if little kids come in they’ll move to the field but not before engaging the kids in a polite chat. I never see them smoke, vape or do weed and malt of the runners round here are teens! I feel teens get such a bloody bad rap.

Yes yes to sports day, some really heart warming love and care for one another at my son’s primary. A little boy who I’ve noticed on a school trip recently is very nervy and subdued, English is his second language and he’s the smallest in the class, only joined in y4 so maybe not quite as comfortable with the others - the whole year group chanted his name in the last race and his whole face lit up. He went from nervous wreck before they started to beaming from ear to ear. Me and the mum next to me were choked up watching, it was beautiful.

There were kids tying each other’s laces, helping up when they’d fallen over, sharing out their snacks, tying each other’s hair back. Just warm and kind all over.

I'm always impressed at how huggy & emotionally open the youngsters are. I was telling DS this last night. Just more open and at peace with their emotions & their bodies, very emotionally supportive to each other, too.

Not that we were complete cowbags in my youf, but I don't think we were as brave about showing our vulnerabilities.

Also DD is so direct & honest with people. Her mates take it well & it's a rare friendship she can't salvage even if tense feelings arose earlier.

Yeah but this is mums net and Britain is the worst for everything even kids🙄
I.can only couch for my own teen ,who is a,lovely,funny ,caring lad who makes me very proud
And his friends all.seem nice too.

My kids are delightful despite us being (shock horror) very poor, we don't eat at the table or own a frigging board game. They have a well developed sense of fairness, care about their friends and are very polite. There are some horrors on this estate tho, case in point the little fuckers that keep breaking my windows.

Sadly that may not be the case when they move up to secondary, unless they're very lucky...

2 of my DS's did cadets. Big groups of kids who enthusiastically want self-discipline and team work & encourage the highest standards in each other, totally believing in honour, responsibility, sensible pragmatism, unselfishness. It astounds me all the hard work the adult volunteers do to make the cadet activities happen: Oh that's right, that's because the adults enjoy it. Because the kids are great !!

The kids sit thru long Remembrance day ceremonies in cold boring churches. That takes a special type of self-sacrificing idealism, I dare say.

My DC are lovely. My youngest is severely autistic and non verbal, but he’s still lovely. He may not be able to sit nicely at a table in a restaurant but thankfully that doesn’t define his worth as a person.
My 9 year old’s class did an exercise last week where they all had to write a compliment about every member of the class, and they brought their results home. DD had lovely comments telling her how smart, kind and helpful she is. Two of the boys in the class had written that she’s ‘beautiful’, which made me smile as I thought 9 year old boys were too cool for that sort of thing!

I'm glad I wasn't at my middle DGD's sports day

She loathes PE and anything sporty and the last race was round the field.

She was going to give up halfway (last as always) and everyone, inc parents and staff, cheered her on till she finished.

I'd have howled

Oh and I’ve lived in 4 different European countries and contrary to the belief of many on here, they have badly behaved children too.

Not only were my kids much happier in high school (than primary), but there are several local stories about the dorky unpopular clever but not sporty boys of primary school... becoming THE most popular kids at secondary. Also: "By year 9 or 10 we all just get along and accept each other," said DD.

When ds was younger someone was discussing how French children have better manners than British and complained about the ipad culture in the UK etc etc he (ds) loudly asked (hearing issues he wasn't TRYING to be rude) if French children really were given alcohol at the dinner table for some reason the original speaker thought he was insinuating that French children were quiet little drunks that's why they behaved and slept well he tried to tell him this wasn't correct then ds said my auntie is French the man wandered off quite fast after that 😂 (ds doesn't think French children are drunks btw he was four and trying to contribute to a conversation he was clueless about)