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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Message to say elderly parent taken to hospital

62 replies

FeelingHelplessAbroad · 15/07/2023 07:35

We’re on holiday in the middle of nowhere

had a message through to say elderly parent had a fall last night, paramedics were called, Paramedics then called an ambulance because they thought EP was unwell rather than had broken anything

all I can find out from hospital switchboard is that EP is still waiting to be admitted 12 hrs later, in A&E. A&E aren’t answering, unsurprisingly.

it will be 2 days at least before one of us can reach home. There is no one else. I think we’ll have to bite the bullet and make the arrangements simply because we can’t get any info

does anyone know if there is another route to info? PALS maybe?

and is EP likely to be sitting up in A&E if brought in by ambulance, or will they be in a cubicle or on a trolley at least?

OP posts:

Arriettyborrower · 15/07/2023 07:39

This is so stressful isn’t it? I would hope they would be on a trolley or a bed waiting for admission, but it is possible they would be on a chair.
Call back the through switch and ask to be out through to the Site matron/Duty matron or site manager/bed managers. They will be able to see where your parent is and what the next steps are for them.
Good luck.

ZekeZeke · 15/07/2023 07:45

Is there really nobody else that can check for you?
Are both you and your OH only children with no families and no friends?

CantFindTheBeat · 15/07/2023 07:45

Sounds very tough, OP.

Who sent you the message? Can you ask them to help get more info?

ZekeZeke · 15/07/2023 07:49

Sorry, I meant to add.
If it's going to take 2 days to get home your EP may be released before you get back.
I would try to find out exactly what the diagnosis is before I make that decision.
I'm sorry your EP is going through that.

toomanyleggings · 15/07/2023 07:54

When my fil went in he was sat in a chair all night. He had advanced terminal lung cancer and had taken a fall. When I went to a&e last week there was a woman who must have been at least 90 hanging off a trolley while three members of staff chatted nearby. I would get there asap

helpfulperson · 15/07/2023 08:03

Who called the paramedics, can they help? Who let you know, do the hospital have your details. To be honest I think you just need to wait it out. When are you due to go home? The picture is going to change so much in the two days it takes you to get home.

FusionChefGeoff · 15/07/2023 08:23

Do you really not know anyone nearby? School parents? Neighbours?

I'd happily go and check for an acquaintance in your position.

GertrudeJekyllRose · 15/07/2023 08:28

My experience is that my EP ring 999 for relatively minor things and because they are elderly are taken off in the ambulance as a precaution. It's never been anything serious (yet) , so I wouldn't rush back from holiday without confirmation of what the condition is.

countrygirl99 · 15/07/2023 08:42

My dad was taken to a&e multiple times after falls. 90% of the time he was straight back home after being checked over but sometimes that took nearly24 hours. 3 times he was kept in for at least a week. Wait until you can get more info before making decisions.

Original poster

FeelingHelplessAbroad · 15/07/2023 08:52

Thanks all. Yes, it really is an only child situation, and no other relatives within a hundred miles, and they are all
ancient. we have asked our neighbour to go round and find out more. Admissions could only say that he was still in A&E, and that there was no contactable Bed manager or matron. EP won’t use a mobile, sadly.

thank you all for your helpful suggestions.

OP posts:

Beargrumps22 · 15/07/2023 08:52

our local hospitals have admission wards where people are kept until a suitable bed place is found. I wouldnt dismiss the switchboard they can be very helpful in getting you through to the right place

Original poster

FeelingHelplessAbroad · 15/07/2023 08:53

I don’t know where the flag came from.

OP posts:

TizerorFizz · 15/07/2023 08:57

Your bigger issue will be discharge. How they will manage and how that impacts you is the big one? Little help available with my very elderly parent. Even if you pay. No staff.

Toddlerteaplease · 15/07/2023 08:58

Ask to speak to the nurse in charge of the department. I can't imagine PALS will be able to do anything.

Willmafrockfit · 15/07/2023 09:00

just coming on to agree, pals would be able to find out for you

Arriettyborrower · 15/07/2023 09:07

Who did you speak to in admissions and what did they tell you?

Chowtime · 15/07/2023 09:08

Ring everyday after the doctors have done their rounds and before lunch - so between 11-12. You'll have updated information then. If he's still in A and E they might just discharge him from there though which is a different story. To be fair, they have told you where he is. They haven't told you whats wrong because they simply don't know yet.

Just ring daily and leave your phone number with them.

msbevvy · 15/07/2023 09:43

If you still have no joy finding out maybe you could see if there is a contact number for the hospital chaplaincy.

I know it's a long shot but they might be able to go and check up on her for you.

Triflenot · 15/07/2023 10:15

When my parent was taken to hospital in similar circumstances, the ambulance staff stayed with them until they were actually admitted.

Greenqueen40 · 15/07/2023 10:19

Of course there will be someone to speak to! Ring the emergency dept, ask to speak to the nurse in charge. If they have been moved find out what ward they have gone to and ring them to speak to the nurse in charge! Every hospital has sisters/matrons/duty managers and switchboards to help you! People don't just disappear

Guineapigwoes · 15/07/2023 10:21

This is too late now op but not sure how wise holidays to the middle of nowhere are with an elderly parent if there is literally no other support.

Does your parent not have any neighbours or friends?

Gingernaut · 15/07/2023 10:23

Junior doctors are on strike until Tuesday and then consultants are on strike for two days after that.

There won't be rounds as per usual

A&E departments across the country are barely controlled warzones, with a skeleton staff of consultants covering only the on call junior roles

There will be a Bed Manager, but they are probably in contact with other Bed Managers in other hospitals and with ambulance services to coordinate flow into A&Es

Karrpt · 15/07/2023 10:26

Which hospital? You never know, someone here might work there!

Hotpinkangel19 · 15/07/2023 10:26

FeelingHelplessAbroad · 15/07/2023 07:35

We’re on holiday in the middle of nowhere

had a message through to say elderly parent had a fall last night, paramedics were called, Paramedics then called an ambulance because they thought EP was unwell rather than had broken anything

all I can find out from hospital switchboard is that EP is still waiting to be admitted 12 hrs later, in A&E. A&E aren’t answering, unsurprisingly.

it will be 2 days at least before one of us can reach home. There is no one else. I think we’ll have to bite the bullet and make the arrangements simply because we can’t get any info

does anyone know if there is another route to info? PALS maybe?

and is EP likely to be sitting up in A&E if brought in by ambulance, or will they be in a cubicle or on a trolley at least?

If it was my EP in this situation I'd be on the next flight home ASAP. I hope they are okay.

Blossomtoes · 15/07/2023 10:29

Hotpinkangel19 · 15/07/2023 10:26

If it was my EP in this situation I'd be on the next flight home ASAP. I hope they are okay.

Show quote history

Same. There’s no way I’d be pissing about with phone calls and posting on MN knowing the current state of A&Es.

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