WIBU to tell DP to suck it up buttercup?

[JustAnotherManicMomday]

First of all we are finally getting married after 14 years. I honestly had given up all hope of ever seeing a ring on my finger.

Now in the planning process. We are keeping it small and simple as we don't want a big fuss. Close family at registry office then party with close friends and family.

WIBU to tell dp that I don't care if he wants real supermarket flowers on the day to decorate, I am ordering the artificial ones? Firstly less expensive than florist, secondly I will not spend the day sneezing, thirdly the centre pieces can be gifted at the end and finally I will be able to guarantee the colours we want which I cannot do in tesco on a Friday morning the day before our wedding next August. Not to mention saves me spending hours creating something that will look like my 4 year old niece put it together.

For context, his chose the registry office, reception venue, reduced the guests I would have liked at the wedding. He chose the catering options. Now because his got an icecream van coming he doesn't want a wedding cake.

So AIBU to accidentally order flowers and a cake? Images to show the flowers I am looking at. Colours can be changed or should I run whilst I still can? Although years of house training has been carried out. Aside from this, his a keeper.

You don’t seem to be very happy or excited about marrying your future husband. I wouldn’t be concerned about the flowers and the cake, OP, more that you don’t seem to be exactly over the moon about the actual marriage, not the wedding, the marriage.

But to your question ( I think) I love artificial flowers, we have boxes of them , I match them to what is in the garden so I don’t have to pick them. The best supplier I have found is deco flora ( all one word but autocorrect won’t have it).

Why are you marrying this controlling man? Everything is on his terms. I think you'd be so much happier without him

I'd be worrying less about the flowers and more about the marriage, based on what you've said here.

I don't think this is going to be the lighthearted thread you hoped it would be 😬

For context, his chose the registry office, reception venue, reduced the guests I would have liked at the wedding. He chose the catering options. Now because his got an icecream van coming he doesn't want a wedding cake.

Has he any good points?

Order a sample OP. I ordered one from a company whose flowers looked beautiful online but in reality looked very cheap & nasty.

His not controlling at all. For context dp works same amount of hours but less days and has more time to organise most of it. I gave a few ideas food truck wise rather than buffet, he chose which option to go with. I said I didn't want a church wedding or the registry office in our town as the building is on a main road with no parking. He picked one out of the other two in a reasonable area. Its more his been steered in the direction I want him to go in but given the final say on those areas. I'm sort of seeing it as if he gets a few parts his way I can put my foot down regarding other decisions like 💐 🎂 etc.

That he's actually interested enough in the wedding that he hasn't left it all to the OP and her Mum to arrange?

@Doidontimmm One step ahead

Just sit down like two adults and talk about the flowers you want?

@NeverDropYourMooncup exactly. If my mum was involved I think I would be grabbing my passport and telling dp we're getting hitched in Vegas. I love her but she would drive me insane. Not to mention the meringue she would put me in. (Note to self go dress shopping without the mother, once find a dress take her and act like I haven't yet been.)

Look, it’s your day as well and I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to want a memorable day and the flowers/cake you want. I think it’s a bit odd to replace a wedding cake with an ice cream van anyway, even if it’s a small/non traditional wedding. A Fab ice lolly is not a like for like replacement really

@ikno exactly my thoughts. Although icreams will keep the kids quiet for 5 minutes. Plus if it's really hot I wouldn't be complaining. Think the cake may be happening. Gin, Pizza, cake and icecream. Sounds like a good day to me.

Well, tbh those particular fake flowers really don't look great... I looked at fake flowers for my wedding and they were really really impressive. Have you seen those ones in person? Our local flower wholesaler sell fake flowers too which is where I saw them.

I made my bouquet from roses from Tesco the night before, but wasn't even slightly bothered about the colours etc.

As for the cake, if you want a cake, have a cake!

I did that and she still sucked in her breath and said that she thought it was "OK but not amazing" 😂

I ended up buying the dress, keeping it quiet and she didn't see it until the big day.

@Silvered in that case I may just go on my own, buybthe dress and say no one is seeing it before the day. Tbf I didn't see my mums when married step dad before the day. Then if she doesn't like it, tell her it's that or a bin bag. She's not a fan of black clothing.

Plastic flowers noooo. Why can’t you use a florist, they will make sure to have your flowers and bouquet ready and in the correct t colour.. surely no one buys flowers from Tesco on their wedding morning, then is t it just better to not have flowers at all

I'd say go for the fake flowers, but spend reasonable money on them if you want to keep them- which id recommend as a really nice thing to remember the day. I have a bouquet from 10 years ago and it still looks fantastic - it's hung up in my living room.

Because the OP has allergies. As she said in her OP.

@KajsaKavat I have hay-fever to the point a small plant in my workplace sets it off some days even after allergy meds. I don't want to sneeze all day long and have puffy red eyes. Plus a florist will cost a lot more. I would rather save the money towards the honeymoon. As for the supermarket flowers option, I was looking at pinks to match my nieces dresses, cannot guarantee a similar shade if I go to the supermarket the day before. Not going to a dozen shops to get flowers and spend all day putting them together.

I didn't have flowers, or a cake. Or a special dress. I wore something I already had, I knew it looked good on me.

My wedding bouquet was silk, the bridesmaids ones were parchment. They still look great 26 years later so if you want silk, go for it, but as others have said shop around. Weirdly The Range and Dunelm
both have good selections of silk flowers that could almost be real.

I did! Well, the night before. I'm sure it's obvious it's not a florist bouquet, but it was so low down my prioritise list - I didn't want to spend hundreds on flowers that would be dead in a day. Although now I think of it, my MIL organised and bought the buttonholes for both sides of the families - part of her contribution bless her.

Did you miss where op said she'd be sneezing all day if there was real flowers ! I'm taking that to mean op gets hay fever. Streaming nose and eyes will look great on the wedding photos 😂

@Lizzt2007 yep who doesn't love a puffy eyed bride. Went to the supermarket this morning to get flowers to show dp exactly sort of thing available in the colours we would be looking at on any given Saturday. Got them home, eyes blurry, tears started rolling down my eyes and his first response was you win il get those away from you. Comes back with my allergy meds bless him.