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Original poster

As a manager, how would you take this?

65 replies

misspiggywiggy · 14/07/2023 17:18

I started a new job 6 weeks ago. I work in a clinical role. I absolutely love it, really enjoying it and it’s definitely ideal for me.

However, my boyfriend has recently received a 6 month season to go and play his sport in Australia, from September. They’ve offered a partner go with him and I have ALWAYS wanted to travel and visit there. I absolutely cannot say no and I am so excited. He hasn’t fully accepted yet; but he will soon.

But, I’m so nervous to tell my bosses (I can’t until it’s accepted). I only started 6 weeks ago, and they’re really good at developing my role. They are offering trainings, meetings etc and timetabling things in past September and I feel so so guilty every time this is happening, because I know I won’t be there.
I can’t even book sessions in with clients as I know I won’t be there.

It’s so frustrating as I love the job and it’s so ideal. I can’t imagine passing up an opportunity like this though, it will never come up again.

I’d love to return there when I come home in march and stay there for as long as possible, but I can’t expect that of them. I can only imagine they’re going to be fuming as it’s a very strained industry I work in as it is.

Im so nervous, how do I approach this?

OP posts:
Upandonward · 14/07/2023 17:23

Depending on your age and profession you haven’t lost the opportunity to go to Australia in the future on a working visa, so you don’t absolutely have to go now with him.

What will you do while he is playing sport? Would you intend to get a working visa if you are eligible? Do you have the funds to support yourself at such short notice to travel around the country etc?

thecatsthecats · 14/07/2023 17:23

I'd be insanely jealous, and add an annoying task to my list.

Neither of which are your problem.

Honestly, as someone who's managed teams and complex functions for years, I just file this sort of thing under "one of those things" and get on with my day.

thecatsthecats · 14/07/2023 17:24

Upandonward · 14/07/2023 17:23

Depending on your age and profession you haven’t lost the opportunity to go to Australia in the future on a working visa, so you don’t absolutely have to go now with him.

What will you do while he is playing sport? Would you intend to get a working visa if you are eligible? Do you have the funds to support yourself at such short notice to travel around the country etc?

None of these are the question she asked.

Illegallyblonder · 14/07/2023 17:24

Go, have a great time, they'll manage! Just be honest.

Whataretheodds · 14/07/2023 17:25

I'd be annoyed if I thought you had been sitting on your decision for a while to avoid a difficult conversation, thereby making the task of replacing you more difficult.

If you'd like the option to take 6 months of unpaid leave then talk about it sooner rather than later!

MIBnightmare · 14/07/2023 17:26

Just go !!

Can you do your job there ?

LorraineInSpain · 14/07/2023 17:26

Did you post this before? If not, there’s a recent thread from someone in exactly the same position as you that it might be worth searching for to see if there’s any advice that you could also use.

CatStankShame · 14/07/2023 17:27

If it was only 6 weeks ago you got the job they may be able to contact their second choice from interview and get them in.

wizzler · 14/07/2023 17:27

It sounds as if you've definitely decided to go. Your company have been great with you so far so you could ask for a career break... they might say no but they could say yes ( in my company you have to have 12 months service but you never know) if they say no you are no worse off as you will resign anyway
If you are in an industry where everyone knows each other I would be as honest as possible as soon as possible to avoid reducing your options when you return

Roselilly36 · 14/07/2023 17:28

What a wonderful opportunity. If I was in your shoes, I would keep quiet for now and only tell them when it’s all confirmed. If they are a good employer, and you are trained to do the role and they like you, they may treat your trip as a sabbatical. Honestly, don’t miss out on this opportunity for a job, you may regret it if you do.

BillyNoM8s · 14/07/2023 17:31

I'd be clear on the plans before you do anything drastic, unless you're planning to travel alone? Presumably he'll be busy a lot of the time?

I would possibly try and wrangle going for a month or 6 weeks around Christmas, in your shoes.

sunglassesonthetable · 14/07/2023 18:05

*I'd be insanely jealous, and add an annoying task to my list.

Neither of which are your problem.

Honestly, as someone who's managed teams and complex functions for years, I just file this sort of thing under "one of those things" and get on with my day.*

Exactly this.

Life happens. Grab it . Any normal person is going to be pleased for you.

Just don't leave it to last minute.

wherearethewindows · 14/07/2023 18:07

Can you ask for a career break maybe? Or extended leave?

Just tell them what's you've told us, I can't see how they'd be angry

jennyjones198080 · 14/07/2023 18:12

what exactly is your plan? Will your be resigning or asking for a career break.

people resign all the time - it’s a pain in the arse but employers understand. They will be sorry to see you go - a bit irritated they have to go through a recruitment process again - but this happens.

just be honest about your plans and the timings. Explains you love the job and hope to have the opportunity to work
with them in the future. Put that marker down.

I have never been annoyed at individuals - just the situation and inconvenience. If they are normal they will be pleased for you and excited to hear your plans (while the scramble to replace you).

go - have a fabulous time. I am jealous!!

Issuefroth · 14/07/2023 18:18

You’re only feeling bad because you’re going to be happy - if they needed to replace you with immediate effect on their terms, they would.
Go to Australia, don’t make any promises to your current employer. You will be a completely different person after this experience and shouldn’t tie yourself to anything back here - you might even choose to stay longer!!

Upandonward · 14/07/2023 18:23

@thecatsthecats Where is your constructive advice to the OP then?

It’s all very well telling people to go and have a fabulous time but the practicalities of life in another country for 6 months have to be considered too. Giving up a great career opportunity in a job than you’ve only had for 6 weeks needs considerable thought beyond thinking you’ll be sitting on a beach or off sight-seeing alone in a hot country for 6 months while your bf is off playing sport.

unicornhair · 14/07/2023 18:26

All you can do is ask. It’s come as a complete surprise, it’s not like you’ve tricked them in some way.
I assume it’s a little while before you go still.
Can you afford to have no pay for all that time though?

thistimelastweek · 14/07/2023 18:34

If I were your welcoming, career-developing brand new manager, I think I might be a little bit pissed off.

(Not what you're asking, but trading a fab job for what is really an extended holiday needs careful thought. )

Merryoldgoat · 14/07/2023 18:37

I’d think ‘oh well - I best get the ad out again’.

I’d be a bit pissed off but not outwardly. They wouldn’t hesitate to let you go.

TenOhSeven · 14/07/2023 18:40

As a manager I'd be a bit annoyed but these things happen.

As an employee, I wouldn't quit my job for the sake of a 6 month trip to Australia - and I love Australia! What I might do is see if I could wangle a couple of periods of annual leave/unpaid leave of 3-4 weeks to go on holiday there to visit him.

Paq · 14/07/2023 18:43

I would be annoyed at the situation because it would disrupt my team and give me extra work to do.

I would expect you to resign though.

FrivolousTreeDuck · 14/07/2023 18:45

I would be disappointed and slightly annoyed. That's not to say you shouldn't do it. However, the natural reaction of anyone losing a good member of staff in whom they've invested time is not likely to be one of joy.

Novella12 · 14/07/2023 19:05

Oh my god, go, go, go!

There will be opportunities out there for you. I'm assuming you're young enough for a working holiday visa? In which case you'll be able to work.

Take the opportunity now, before you have children/pets, and go and enjoy the adventure of a lifetime.

If - and I don't think they will - but if work reacted badly, there will be other jobs.

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 15/07/2023 13:08

TenOhSeven · 14/07/2023 18:40

As a manager I'd be a bit annoyed but these things happen.

As an employee, I wouldn't quit my job for the sake of a 6 month trip to Australia - and I love Australia! What I might do is see if I could wangle a couple of periods of annual leave/unpaid leave of 3-4 weeks to go on holiday there to visit him.

Absolutely this! A few weeks in Australia over the Xmas/NY period and part of January, a few weeks unpaid leave and you get to keep the job.

The perfect win-win.

LlynTegid · 15/07/2023 13:11

I'd be annoyed especially if you are a good person to work with. I'd probably ask if there is an option to be there for a shorter period of time. The holiday as suggested.

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