Would you be upset at this?

[Annoyed75]

Potential new friend I met at my kids nursery. She seemed lovely and said doesn’t have many mum friends and neither do I honestly as I work long hours. Going really well till she asked me what school my kid will be going I told her which I’ve (a private one) and she just went into a rant of how her husband went to one abs learnt nothing whereas she went state and had an amazing degree etc. etc. she went into this rant for good 5 - 10 mins. I tried to remain calm. The thing is I am going to be making huge sacrifices to send my kid there as I know it’s the best one for him. I feel a little upset. She want to meet up late on in the holidays should I forget her opinions and try to be friendly or just avoid?

m I think it’s so rude making judgments on other peoples decisions.

Alright Baaaaaaabessssss, (see my post above… 😂) just move on. Why post? Hardly a stealth boast, the OP said she’s sacrificing a lot for this for her child.

IS she your friend, OP? Or is she just someone you've gravitated toward for convenience's sake, because you both happen to have children of a similar age?

IME, these tend to be fair weather and fairly transient 'friendships', not the ones that last. And that's fine. To everything there is a season, and all that. I'm not in touch with the mothers from DC's nursery days anymore, even though I liked them at the time. We've moved on. You'll probably find that when your two children go to school you'll drift in any event.

A difference of opinion is fine. A ten-minute political rant, not least one involving criticism of you and your choices, is something else entirely. In no circumstances would I be inclined to sit there and be browbeaten like that.

You teach others how they can treat you, OP, and whilst it's fine to disagree - my friends come from many political persuasions and of course we can't all coincide - the behaviour you mention above is not okay. You can think: 'you don't value me, if you can speak to me that way, but I value myself too much to entertain it'.

Step back, and give yourself full permission and validation to do so. Once you start valuing yourself more, real friendships - not compromises because there's no one better around - will follow.

It's quite a polarizing issue, as educational issues frequently are. My friend, for instance, thought nothing of having a full-time nanny for her three, but is a socialist and public school is not an option she would ever consider.

I couldn't countenance having a nanny, but given DC's primary has been a disappointment we are now seriously weighing up the different options on offer with two years left to decide.

The question is always whether whether your child, specifically, can benefit from that type of education. DC is reasonably able, but to my eternal frustration is lazy and does need a rocket up his backside. As yet I'm unaware which of the local schools - state or public - are best suited to his temperament. Also, I've known plenty of people say they derived no benefit from their expensive private education whatsoever. And I don't always care for some of the attitudes they espouse.

You don't always know you've got it 'wrong' - or whether the investment has been worth it - until it's too late. We don't feel we made the right decision as far as primary was concerned and it's important to us not to make the same mistake again.

They are always difficult decisions but people can only make these on the basis of what's best for their child. Five years - without considering A' Level - would set us back £60K - it's not as though we can't find a good use for that money elsewhere.

It's a conundrum, but I'd never criticize or browbeat anyone for making the decision they felt was best for their child.

🤣 Helpppp someone’s having a opinion on me sending my child to PRIVATE school thinks “must let mumsnet know and make certain I put PRIVATE school!” waaaaa waaa waaaaa 🤣 cry me a river!

Why is there any need for there to be this many posts about private schooling?!

I had this experience once (I was trapped on a busy commuter train so couldn't escape).

She made herself look like a bit of a tit tbh. No doubt a few people were rolling their eyes at your one too.

You'll make other friends. This lady has rather usefully shown her cards early!

Differences of opinion in a friendship are fine. Turning your friend's choices into a political rant is not fine and I would swerve someone with that kind of personality.

I've sent DS to a school out of catchment. I'm not keen on our local school anyway, but in conversation, I've framed it as about DS's SENs and how schools will meet them rather than as a direct criticism of the school, and the choice or allocation that most people in the neighbourhood have avaliable. I've found positives such as "the art department will really suit Bob" to support their choices. They don't need to know that I'd have been keen to avoid it anyway. Equally applicable to chouces about state or private schooling.

You sound quite bitter and jealous.

If you don't like the content of any thread you can click 'HIDE' at the top and it will all go away.

HTH.

My thoughts exactly, in fact this is the 3rd one I've read in as many days.

So is there a search bar I cannot even see the “AIBU” here?! What would make it more of a aibu is if op said “that’s your opinion, keep your mouth shut etc” but she didn’t even retaliate?! So where exactly is it??? I’m just curious.

You seem quite desperate for attention. Are you quite unremarkable in real life?

It sounds like she has no filter! If your paths won't cross beyond kids leaving nursery I'd be tempted to not make the effort. You're going to make more lovely mum pals at your child's new school. So focus on those friendships and the people who genuinely share your values

Exactly and to make matters worse there isn’t even a aibu because they don’t even confront the situation! LOL! Aibu my feelings where hurt? I didn’t say anything to her but thought I’d best let mumsnet know that my child is going to PRIVATE school. Lol

Knew you wouldn't hide the thread 😂

I wonder how I guessed?

Opinions are like knickers. Everybody's entitled to pick and choose their own.
Having said that it keeps on getting weirder and weirder! Honestly though, I don't think the Brits are that rude about their opinions. These are the people who'll patiently stand in line at the bus stop, not jump the queue and give those waiting the middle finger. Are the Brits going Dutch? 😁