to think uk children in general did not have a bad experience during the pandemic

[orangeleavesinautumn]

Just read yet another post when inappropriate behaviour in a teen is put down to delayed trauma from covid times.

Having worked as a teacher in many countries, I can tell you that the conditions we called "lock down" are normal life for many of the world's children, and our children are incredibly privileged compared to most.

They didn't really suffer, they just had a slightly less ultra-privileged life for a short time. They were not more isolated and deprived than "normal" they were less isolated and deprived than normal, in a world wide sense - they were just more isolated and deprived than we have come to expect in our wealthy world.

Some may have been afraid, or bereaved, but most were not, and many enjoyed themselves enormously, more children I know preferred lock down to normal school, than preferred normal school to lockdown - and I have asked literally hundreds of children!

Can we stop telling them they are disadvantaged and traumatised now please!

However, consistency in maintaining a child’s view of the world and their ability to navigate it contributes massively to resilience.

Yep, I thought this was obvious, but evidently not to some people.

Impeccable scientific method here
youre a genius, OP

We’ve seen a massive increase in referrals to child and adolescent mental health services.

@orangeleavesinautumn why do you think that is?

The Covid pandemic is scientifically recognised as something that could cause trauma, both at an individual and societal level.

I'm not sure what your anecdata adds to that really.

My eldest was in primary 1 in 2020. It definitely has affected her. Hyper aware of germs, scared of people getting ill, anxious and less socially able than her younger sister who was more shielded from the effects due to her age. My son was born in 2020, could go nowhere and mix with no one. When everything opened up, like most children, caught everything all at once much more severely than if he had been continuously exposed, and has now developed an autoimmune condition. His doctor is convinced it has been triggered by the amount of viruses and strain on his immune systems in a short burst of time, causing is immune system to adapt much much quicker than it's supposed to.

So for my middle child, I agree with your statement. Her life has (as much as anyone can tell) continued on the same directory as it would have without covid. She wasn't hard done by, isolated or traumatised. She was old enough to have had childcare, mum's and tots, soft play etc before lock down, but not old enough to understand what was happening, and not yet in school to have missed any education. My youngest is developing socially ok, but has been impacted health wise. My eldest has very much been impacted. She missed half of both p1 and p2, fundamental years for learning to read and develop social skills. She had a much higher level of understanding of what was happening. She had friends and family to miss (younger 2 didn't have friends yet and hadn't bonded as much with family as eldest due to their age), all matched with me going in to hospital to have a baby, not being allowed any visitors and due to complications being kept in for 10 days without being able to see her, and without her having the support of grandparents and aunts/uncles etc to help distract her etc

I ran a pop up, community food bank over October half term. I saw a lot of children in poverty in my local area who were going without the social intervention that they would normally get through school.

I see a lot of the incoming reception kids, 4-5 year olds, with food issues, because it was difficult for working parents to feed their children a variety of foods, and work.

I see a lot of emotional regulation issues in the current reception kids, who stayed at home with mum and dad working, or helping an older sibling with their homework.

I see a lot of 7-9 year olds who had enough understanding to feel scared, but not enough understanding to process the issue, so for them Covid became a boogie man.

I see 9-12 year olds who missed out on their first steps of independence and the self esteem that brings, and the last few years of their gentle, primary schooling.

It's ok to admit that the kids had it bad. Living through covid was <10% of my lifespan to date. I had a frame of reference for norm. For our children, it was a sudden change which lasted 50%, 70%, of their life spans. They didn't have the frame of reference or critical thinking skills to self soothe.

@DannyLaRuesBestFrock could be totally wrong but I suspect @orangeleavesinautumn doesn’t have multiple dcs themselves or maybe any kids and is eye rolling at parents hamming this up for dcs as obviously parents love making their dcs anxious…It’s definitely got that vibe about it . Also the fact is teaching kids and being a parent to kids is a totally different experience.

Mine were fine, but I homeschooled fulltime - freelancer at the time - we had enough money for everything we needed and we live somewhere with access to lots of outdoor space which I had the time to take them to. They were younger so I could teach them and they weren’t seeking independence etc as teens do

many, many children were not fine.

Can’t believe you’re a teacher.

Anyway, I think I’ll believe statistics over the opinion of one random on MN.

Completely agree with you OP. 100%

In eastern Europe, in Africa, in India, in Malaysia, in rural China I have seen communities more restricted than what we would consider "lock down" - but it is just considered normal life, no one is traumatised or feels deprived.

They don't see their extended families or neighbours or friends? Or shopkeepers or bus drivers or teachers or random people in the street?

"
Having worked as a teacher in many countries, I can tell you that the conditions we called "lock down" are normal life for many of the world's children, and our children are incredibly privileged compared to most."

As a teacher I expect you understand that if it's "normal" then the children have no adjustments to make. In the UK it's not "normal" and our children struggled with the change. Particularly those in abusive households for whom school was an escape.

i suspect the OP’s answer will be shit U.K. parents being shit at parenting

I am not qualified to talk about trauma.

But they are developmentally different as a cohort even though masses of children are fine. you see more of certain things in more pupils (not all). I sit in lots of school governor meetings and go to trust meetings and hear over and over how particular year groups have more of particular issues depending on how old they were. So year 1 seems to have lots of communication issues compared to previous years 1 and current year R. Again its stats, so obviously im.not saying every year 1 has this issue just maybe 4 kids used to and now its 10. The year 10s are desribed as on average, having friendship issues associated more with year 7s.

It was awful for only children who didn’t find anyone to ‘bubble’ with. My child didn’t speak to another child for six months out of the year. As a teacher presumably you know about the developmental importance of play and time with peers.

I know several secondary school teachers and they all say that behaviour at their schools is dramatically worse post-pandemic.

Mine really missed their friends. I was working outside the home as I am a key worker so they were left to fend for themselves in regards to online school work. They have come through OK but my youngest (Y6 and into Y7 during 2020) has definitely lost a bit of school motivation and often asks to be home educated - I can't as I'm a single parent.

The behaviour of our preschoolers and the ones that went up last year has definitely been different to previous years and speech and language has been delayed in many children. Our assumption is children were left with TV and devices more often as parents tried to work from home and they simply didn't see so many people.

I agree with this my .
I won't describe my son as traumatised and I'm sure that he enjoyed being home rather than school. However he was very isolated and missed friends and family. He struggled with on line learning which meant he missed huge chunks of his KS1 education meaning he has found it difficult to catch up in KS2.
His experience was by far not the worse in this country or abroad but it was his experience and it did matter.

My daughter had a MARVELLOUS time of it celebrating her 6th and 7th birthdays just at home with her shielding mother, no friends allowed to come and play or sing happy birthday to her. Seeing her dad through the window every weekend was a barrell of laughs too. And let's not forget the joy that was a Christmas of 2020, opening presents "with" grandparents over Zoom. Such fun! You have no idea. Lockdown was 25% of my daughter's life at that time. How dare you say it was insignificant and didn't affect her. She couldn't sit on a bloody swing for god's sake!

Let's not forget all the "don't kill granny" messaging while schools reopened saying "Schools are safe, everybody back in"...from the GOVERNMENT. How much of that was an absolute mind fuck for kids? You can't hug your nan but you can share the air in this room with 30 children from 30 different houses. There's a particularly chilling photo of my daughters class where the teacher is masked up and in more or less a haz mat suit while the children sit shoulder to shoulder on the carpet and the poster behind her says "We are safe in our bubble". It was brain games and it's teachers like you who minimise and shoo away the feelings of the children who HAVE been through a traumatic event such as a GLOBAL PANDEMIC that makes me so glad that you are not teaching my child as to make her suffer further manipulation of her lived experience.

You clearly have no empathy as a human being, nor use the correct method to conduct a fair survey. Both do not bode well for your credentials as an educator. You may want to rethink your career path as teaching is clearly unsuitable. That is not a question that should ever have been asked of them. That's akin to asking "Did your parents divorce bother you?" or "When your grandad died, did you cry?". You should be ashamed of yourself.

I worked as a nurse in ICU through Covid, my son was 12 now 14, he bloody loved it. No school, walks with us, climbing trees, streams, we went for walks with friends. We were sensible with risks, especially with my job but, yes my son thrived!

@bofski14 why couldn't she sit on a swing??!! Yes you were shielding but what do you honestly think would happen if she sat on a swing?

I suspect because in many parts of the country councils locked playgrounds and taped up play equipment with yellow hazard tape. In one town near here they actually chained everything so that children could not use it . Mad

Are you really a teacher?!

If you are then this ignorant isolated viewpoint is concerning.

Did every child suffer no but many are still suffering. Especially ASN children that are still unable to access sufficient support.

She's a teacher at Under Bridge Academy.

Some children, those for whom school is a sanctuary, are probably the ones who had a difficult time. I really felt for those children.
The majority of kids from decent homes will likely have had Netflix, games consoles, mobile phones, TV… I’m afraid I can’t feel too sorry for the poor little darlings. Lockdowns are often given as an excuse for the poor behaviour of children, but many of my friends children have behaved perfectly normally since and did not suffer much at the time except for feeling occasionally bored that they couldn’t go out.
I think some children may have actually benefitted from some proper time with their family, without the general chaos that working lives often bring.

I think it also depends on how the parents reacted to the situation. If they were anxious and edgy about covid, then this probably translates to their children. If they saw it as a bit of an ‘adventure’ (for want of a better word) then their children probably weren’t too bothered about the disruption.

I think covid was terrible for children. We can see the effects on many children. My son was an only child, and I felt so bad for him. The isolation was definitely detrimental and he was very sad about missing school.

I think the OP is being goady. They haven’t been back to this thread but have started have another AIBU this morning about ‘being feminine’.