To think that one day I'll be dead, and none of this will matter?

[Flufferblub]

I've thought in these terms since school, and I still do. Is that a weird or wrong way to think? Do other people think in these terms?

No, I try to think like that.

But I've had a lot of psychedelics haha

I get what your approach is but there has to be a middle ground between stress and annihilation

I think if you can feel that detachment and perspective it’s quite healthy

But not to the point of not fully living your own life, iyswim

Overalll I think it’s quite wise. Don’t sweat the small stuff and all that.

Not weird or wrong to me. I find this thought strangely comforting and I have no belief in any kind of after life. Summed up in my life’s motto - this too shall pass. Make the most of the good times as they will not last for ever, and remember that eventually the bad times will also end.

I find it comforting too.

Yes I think like this - sometimes I find it comforting and life-affirming in a 'seize the day' sense, other times it makes me sad and a bit scared.

It's just the truth though, isn't it?!

I like to feel like this

Then I think of my children and it evaporates

Therefore I have to prioritise carefully, but if it was just me? Fuck me I'd be so free in my thoughts

Not so much 'one day I'll be dead' but in moments I feel out of my depth at work or in life I try to remind myself that I've been through similar before and it's a distant memory now and something I've learned from, as this moment will eventually be.

Also 'this all consuming stressful work issue doesn't really matter, in the grand scheme of life'.

It helps calm my anxiety about things. (I should add I'm not a surgeon or anything that is actually dealing with life or death).

Oh yes - I find it a great way to put things into perspective.

I always try to remember death, time is fleeting so you may as well commit to the thing that calls to you, try out that hobby and take that (calculated) risk.
It's not about you only live once so don't commit to anything but you only live once so pick something and really go for it.

Absolutely right, OP. We are all incredibly unimportant, we are alive for an infinitesimal amount of time and once we're dead nobody will give two hoots about us (unless we're Mozart or Shakespeare, which we're not!).
So it's incredibly reassuring to know that nothing in our lives matters in the slightest.

No I don't think that at all. If I did, it would almost be looking forward to the day I am dead.

I tend to think like QueSyrah, in the grand scheme of things, to try and get some perspective and not get overwhelmed. I tend to overthink so need a way to calm my tendency to plan and control.

My Dad, an arsehole in so very many ways, was right in one respect. He used to say "What will it matter in ten years time?"

most things I get exercised about don't matter in 10 days time, so I try to save my energy for those things that do matter, and will matter,in 10 years time.

that doesn't mean I don't try to mend things I can mend in the short term.

@QueSyrahSyrah Actually there is a medical saying, “all bleeding stops eventually”.

It’s black humour, due to the double meaning (bleeding either stops because you’ve stopped it, or because the patient has died) but I have always found it very useful when dealing with very sick patients trying to bleed to death - remembering that the situation will be over eventually does help you keep on trying, ironically. I can put a huge amount of effort in for an hour or two if I know there is an end in sight, but would be more likely to admit defeat if I felt there was no end to it.

Remember our brains are still Stone Age brains, designed to make us survive, not to make us happy.

We have a surplus of stress hormones. Accept this and find strategies to navigate around them.

Thanks everyone. This has made me feel a little better, and not so weird and alone in my thinking. I tend to do this as a coping mechanism, and I do shut down a lot. A bit like in a nature documentary, when a deer stops struggling in a lioness's mouth, and accepts it's fate. It's like a freeze response.

I find it very comforting and liberating to realise none of this truly matters. We're just mammals pottering around for a short time on this planet. If we have a bad day at work or forget something important, so what, really?

But I also think if none of it truly matters, may as well have fun, rather than if none of this truly matters what's the point of it all?

My motto is: Have fun without doing harm.

I love seizing the moment every day. Live each day as if it's your last. For me that means getting outdoors being in wide open spaces. It's where I am at my happiest. Don't get worried about small things in life. It gets you nowhere fast.

I know you mean this seriously, but when I saw your thread title, I thought that you could turn that around slightly and reply 'One day you'll be dead and none of this will matter' to 99% of threads on Mumsnet!

I also adopted this notion as a teen, but not in a nihilistic everything's pointless kind of way. I let go of the bad things as much a possible and seek out and hang on to the good things as much as possible. I really, really enjoy my life, but i also think it's a meaningful as the next living thing, a tree or whatever, and they will expire. Is there any point to humanity? I don't think so. We're the culmination of a certain set of criteria and then loads of reproduction. That's it! But i still have a good time.

Wow deep question and answers! Sounds like a case for Buddhism where things are shallow (don't go up yr own arse, live laugh love etc) and deep (it all matters as we might get reincarnated as an animal if we behave in a base way) at the same time

Ironically, I am at my best when I am able to think like this. Most of the time, I am terribly introspective and worried. When I can see how unimportant it all is really, I feel liberated.

Actually, @DaisyThistle touched on another thing that I think quite often, which is that we are all just mammals plodding through life. We have all these precise social rituals and expectations of ourselves and our ambitions and capabilities, but ultimately we're all just animals, trying our best to survive. Or something like that, if that makes any sense at all 😀!

im a, once I’m dead, I’m dead believer, there’s nothing I can do about it, it’s gonna happen sooner or later, I’m just living for now, I can look to the future but if I die beforehand I won’t know, and I wont care….
the only thing I care about is my kids after I’m gone and if they are still youngish, how they will be looked after, everything else is irrelevant.

Also op imo it bloody does matter if kids are drowning on small boats, dying in wars or being abused etc.or just an old person feeling lonely, whatever. Suffering matters, empathy is positive.

Just coz it's not your suffering in that circumstance. I sense detachment as a coping mechanism in you. It's called aversion. Embrace what you're feeling with love and empathy to yourself.

Yes, I think about this sometimes, just how insignificant I am in a universe full of atoms. I find it comforts and scares me in equal measure.
Then another time it will all most definitely be about me. Not necessarily a selfish way, but in a 'master of my own destiny ' type of way and I believe I have the power to make a difference.
They're opposite sides of the same coin. One gives us the freedom of no responsibility, if we completely submit, the other gives us autonomy and the responsibility that goes with it. They're both real.