I SWEATED so much in a hard therapy session I am now mortified - what is the etiquette here? AIBU?

[SweatingSwampbeast]

I only realised in the lift on the way down I had basically sweated buckets. There is air conditioning in the office, so it didn't make much sense but I googled and it turns out this is a known thing that can happen when somebody is recalling traumatic events.

I am basically mortified in case I left a sweat patch on the fucking couch? This is haunting me now.

I was just about ok with discussing the actual trauma stuff itself without feeling intense shame, but this feeling I have been physically vile and unpleasant is absolutely mortifying me. I almost feel I can't go back? It's so awkward now.

What is the etiquette for this? I wondered if I should email to apologise but I never email her so that could also be weird?

But if I don't acknowledge it it seems rude and antisocial, like I am the type of person who selfishly does disgusting things without being mindful of how it effects other people?

I feel so awkward! Which is annoying because I was doing ok before my body betrayed me like this!

What am I supposed to do to make it less awkward?

Chill. Chill. You are projecting your feelings of discomfort about the session on to the physical aspect.

Of course you must go back. Don't use this as an excuse not to.

What's the worst that can happen? The therapist has to buy a throw for the couch.

You won't be the first, it's an intense experience and people will respond accordingly. They will clean it up, not for the first or last time, and will not want it to affect your comfort and safety in the sessions.

its not a problem at all. Sweating is normal. Sweating heavily is not a disgusting thing to do (where did that belief come from?)

it won’t cost her a seconds thought. If in the worst case you did actually leave a sweat patch- she’ll just take one of the wipes she has and wipe it.

You didn't "selfishly" do anything... It was a normal, natural physical response to reliving trauma and happens in the body not the brain - therefore something you cannot control. Please be kind to yourself, your therapist will be quite used to this. Remember that it is a safe space, you are allowed to be imperfect.
If you really feel you need to, then mention it at your next session and your therapist will no doubt reassure you that it's fine. Focus on being proud for the progress you're making 💐

Your therapist will be used to this, it is a common response to trauma work and they won't give it a second thought. It is always a good thing to be open with your therapist, so although an apology email is unecessary, it might be good for them to know you are worried so they can identify feelings of digust have come up (and integrate this into future work). Best wishes from a trauma therapist x

I'm probably not the best person to reply as I have severe hyperhidrosis affecting my torso and back. I take medication 3 times a day for it, but despite this still sweat through my clothing in seconds. This has massively affected my day to day life so I know what I'm talking about!!
If it's any reasurrance it's highly unlikely you have marked the chair. Clothes do act as an absorbent. Also, if this is new to you then it is quite possible you have overestimated how much you actually perspired as anything will seem excessive to you if it's not your normal. Also, therapists will know this is a common occurrence. Do not give it a second thought. Good luck with your treatment.

Please don't worry. I used to do counselling sessions and this would happen to clients. It was stress sweat. I would never have expected an apology.

You could email them as it is worrying you and if they are a good therapist they will be able to support you through those feelings. They wouldn't want this to stop you going back

My clients often apologise for sweating, I never notice it much and am pleased if we have managed to get to the hard work. Just look after yourself and make sure you go back.

It's so sad that you use the words selfish and disgusting about yourself over something like this OP! Why would you think that? God knows what you've been through in that office reliving your trauma, if you wet yourself or even pooed yourself in response then I wouldn't expect the therapist to bat an eye lid (apart from to help you as needed of course!).

If emailing her makes you feel better then do it but please don't feel this is awkward. Maybe your mind is finding it easier to focus on this than anything else at the moment though? But please know that this is not a big thing.

Ok thank you - it seems this isn't really going to disturb her then, most probably.

I know sweating is normal, and I'm ok with sweating if I've done some exercise where it feels appropriate.

I grew up with somebody who could be viciously cruel about perfectly normal bodily functions like crying, so it probably stems from that. Hadn't thought of that likelihood until now.

This is very normal and a natural involuntary reaction, especially with trauma or ptsd.

Absolutely nothing that you should be worried about or mortified about.

Your therapist won't be surprised by it and won't care. They will have experienced it many times before.

Go easy on yourself. It actually sounds like the therapy is working given you were able to express yourself.

The sweating genuinely isn't worth a second thought.

Totally normal and absolutely no need to apologise. But you might want to explore your beliefs about bodily functions at your next session. 🙏

It's really good that you've made that link with childhood.

It's absolutely normal to sweat, your therapist genuinely wouldn't have given it a second thought. But good to raise it next session anyway and you can tell her about the link you made to childhood too if that helps?

This is a good thing surely? It means you're working hard in therapy and getting through your trauma. Don't be embarrassed, the therapist is used to it. Better this way than sitting there be unable to communicate.

Thank you for this perspective, it's really helpful too, and I'm sorry to hear that you have to deal with that condition. It sounds very difficult.

And just to be clear I don't think anybody else sweating is disgusting or anything. At all.

I only feel this way about myself and only sometimes - when already feeling extremely vulnerable and threatened, I think.

I think because this is the first time you've had this response, it feels new and weird and A Massive Deal to you, hence panicking and wondering how you should apologise.

However, I think it's important to remember that your therapist is experienced in working with people to unpick difficult, traumatic things and will have seen everything. Including sweat patches on their couch. It's weird to you, it's normal to them.

Be kind to yourself, as you've clearly had a really difficult session. Reflect on everything you've spoken about. That's it.

Go back, and keep putting in the work. But don't feel bad about yourself, feel proud about yourself that you engaged with your therapy to the point where you had that physical response. You're doing a brilliant job!

As someone who works with people who have experienced trauma I would not bat an eyelid at sweating. Or expect people to apologise for a normal body response.

I have had people cry sweat swear shake and a multitude of body reactions during sessions and never judge anyone for it your therapist will hopefully be the same.

Remember we can’t choose how our body responds to trauma be it body reactions or flight freeze or flop.

but the link you made would be really useful to let your therapist know.

I hope you find the sessions helpful

If I was your therapist and this happened I would literally not care one single jot. Go to your next session. You don't have to mention it or feel awkward. It's just something that's happened that's now over.

I left a sweat patch on my therapists leather couch. He saw it but didn’t say anything. I sweat a ton during trauma therapy and then freeze after. Totally normal. Honestly they are used to it. It’s fine!

I hope this helps - years ago I left a significant smear on a professionals thankfully wipeable chair when my sanitary towel shifted. I was mortified and questioned whether I could ever face them again - but I did and they treated me the same as always & we still have a professional relationship today

but the link you made would be really useful to let your therapist know

I'd prefer not to. If it's likely that she won't think twice of it as it's quite common...then I'd just prefer to pretend it didn't happen.

Curious about why it could be useful to talk about it?

It makes me uncomfortable to draw attention to the fact I haven't got perfect control at all times.

It's weird. I have ugly cried in my appointment a few times when I literally could not prevent it and was perfectly ok with it then, but now this is making me feel like I'll be weird and mortified by crying again, if that ever happens, too.

Surely I should be getting more comfortable and not less!

Never sweated but cried and snotted. I say chill too, they’ve seen it all

I am so glad this is a quite normal thing to sweat in therapy, the relief is immense.

Thank you all for making me feel less of an oddball!

Oh fuck, I have so much empathy for you. I am glad you went back and it was all ok!