I SWEATED so much in a hard therapy session I am now mortified - what is the etiquette here? AIBU?

[SweatingSwampbeast]

I only realised in the lift on the way down I had basically sweated buckets. There is air conditioning in the office, so it didn't make much sense but I googled and it turns out this is a known thing that can happen when somebody is recalling traumatic events.

I am basically mortified in case I left a sweat patch on the fucking couch? This is haunting me now.

I was just about ok with discussing the actual trauma stuff itself without feeling intense shame, but this feeling I have been physically vile and unpleasant is absolutely mortifying me. I almost feel I can't go back? It's so awkward now.

What is the etiquette for this? I wondered if I should email to apologise but I never email her so that could also be weird?

But if I don't acknowledge it it seems rude and antisocial, like I am the type of person who selfishly does disgusting things without being mindful of how it effects other people?

I feel so awkward! Which is annoying because I was doing ok before my body betrayed me like this!

What am I supposed to do to make it less awkward?

I grew up with somebody who could be viciously cruel about perfectly normal bodily functions like crying, so it probably stems from that. Hadn't thought of that likelihood until now.

^This is why it would be useful to talk about it. You can now process this and all your feelings about it with your therapist and heal that part of yourself that is struggling with so much shame.

Therapists are generally more empathetic than your average chair owner. They won’t be giving it a second thought.

This is not just any sweat, this is special acrid stinky therapy sweat.
Totally normal.

Sorry I guess it depends what you're in therapy for. If it's contained trauma processing and you don't want to go near your childhood then it's fine not to tell her if you didn't want to. If you're in therapy to talk about the impact of your childhood then it might be helpful and she might be able to help you feel better about that. Completely up to you though, it's really ok to bring the stuff that you want to

Please talk this through with your therapist.

You clearly have strong feelings of shame around this- it would be good for you as part of this process to look at why.

Shame loves to fester in the darkness, where it makes us feel unworthy, unlovable, and different to all those other "normal" people. Shame separates us from humanity. So it's good to drag it out into the light where its lies can be exposed.

I did that too. They’ll have seen it loads, I can’t imagine they give a shit!

Bodies can react to trauma therapy by 'evacuating' and this could be what is happening for you.
I work with children and they often need to run to the toilet during a difficult session.
See it as part of the process of releasing your difficult emotions.
Your therapist should recognise this.

Therapist here! Hi.
Please try not to worry. This is completely normal and I certainly would not mind if this happened with one of my clients. I am really hearing your shame here and I would gently suggest you discuss this reaction with your therapist. This is all part of the “work”. You’ve had a strong reaction to this and have made links to your past. This is insightful to bring to your therapist. But absolutely no pressure, if you really don’t want to, then of course you don’t have to mention it. Wishing you well on your therapy journey

Oh my actual god! I can out of therapy last week really sweaty. You never would have related the two. It was a particularly difficult session for me too.

I am sure your therapist (and mine) have seen it all before and will think absolutely nothing of it.

I hope therapy is helpful for you and you get some benefit from it.

Sorry in my eagerness to post I made typo salad out of that.

Basically thank you for making the connection for me. I never realised I was so sweaty because of the therapy, I always have to go and wipe my armpits after!

Hi OP,

I'm so glad you posted and hope you are feeling some relief, based on all the responses. I totally agree your therapist won't be concerned at all and there is absolutely nothing to apologise for.

I agree with others, that if you feel able and your therapy is longer term/ allows this focus, it could be really helpful to talk about the feelings of shame and anxiety you are experiencing around the sweating.

It's natural to feel you are 'getting worse' sometimes in therapy. It's not actually getting worse (in the sense of going backwards) It basically means that you are accessing vulnerability that has been buried (ie you are going deeper). This can be a step to becoming aware of childhood wounds, and then giving them the compassion they deserve, and helping you heal.

It really can mean progress, as long as you are with a good therapist, who can help offer you that safe space to explore. It's very hard feeling so vulnerable though, so I hope you can feel all the caring reassurance on this thread, and be kind and caring towards yourself.... sometimes I find it useful to think of these wounds literally like young children, within me, who are holding difficult memories. They are part of me, but not all of me. And just like I would with a scared child outside my body, I can hold it, reassure it, care about it.

Don't know if that sounds whacky, but it helps me.